Well, hello! My name is Simon, and I like to do writings!

Simon Hawk

Registered
Joined
Mar 21, 2015
Messages
1
Reaction score
1
Hey there, I'm Simon Hawk! I'm a thinker, writer, satirist, and full-time oddball. As Chief Diversionist of Knozzle, my job is to write, baby, write with the intention of making my audience think and laugh. Or at least chuckle. Mostly chuckle. I'm not that funny. Come to think of it, I'm not that bright, either, so don't expect much thinking.

When not hunched over my computer, I spend my time on a balcony overlooking the Arkansas River (pronounced ar-KAN-zas, people!) playing Death Metal's Greatest Hits on my diamond-studded kazoo. I sometimes pretend to know the meaning of life, but mostly just know the meaning of obscure words like "sesquipedalian" and "hircismus". (Okay, to be fair, I had no idea what "hircismus" meant until five minutes ago. I do now, however, so it counts!)

Thanks for having me!

(Wow... just realized I signed up two months ago, but just now got around to posting. Does that make me a procrastinator? Yes, yes it does.)
 
Last edited:

Violet Vixen

Official Cryptid of the Publishing World
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 8, 2014
Messages
97
Reaction score
18
Location
USA, GA
Look, Simon!

Just reminded me of another hilarious satirist whose writing I enjoy...

In all seriousness: glad to have you! :-D Enjoy your stay, and keep an eye out for those little chocolates they leave on your pillow each night. I hear that a fairy leaves them.
 

regdog

The Scavengers
Staff member
Moderator
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
58,075
Reaction score
21,013
Location
She/Her
:welcome:




Take some time and read the Newbie Guide and the Stickies found
at the top of Forum pages. They are your best guide to learning about
Absolute Write.


Please read the FAQ about posting photos.


In fact we have lots of brilliant FAQs check them out.


Members who want to start a thread in Share Your Work to have work critiqued need
50 posts. Don’t make a mad dash to reach your 50 posts. That is frowned upon and can lead to your posts being deleted.
Take some time to greet fellow newbies, critique other members’ works, or join a discussion.



Announcements, Events and Self Promotion is for active members only. All obvious spam will be deleted on sight!
 

Jack Lebowski

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 17, 2012
Messages
270
Reaction score
34
Hi and welcome to AW! Your killer first post has earned you a Rep Point!
Jack-awestruck:)
 

Lavern08

Sit Down, and Shut Up!
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 14, 2009
Messages
21,790
Reaction score
7,436
Location
7th Heaven
Enjoy your stay, and keep an eye out for those little chocolates they leave on your pillow each night. I hear that a fairy leaves them.

:welcome: - Simon

Oh, and those little chocolates are actually Ex-Lax, so be very, very careful. :poke:
 

Chase

It Takes All of Us to End Racism
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
Messages
9,239
Reaction score
2,316
Location
Oregon, USA
I spend my time on a balcony overlooking the Arkansas River (pronounced ar-KAN-zas, people!)

So Simon says "ar-KAN-zas" for the river. :ty: for the handy pronunciation. How do folks in your vicinity pronounce Arkansas toothpick, the historic knife of the 1800s? For a story I'm working on, is it the same? Or is it as we say the state name, "ARK-an-saw"?

:welcome: to the AW writing gang. Pleased to meet you. :greenie