How can I remove this adverb?

"She bolted upright" or "jerked upright" or some other derivative phrasing, maybe? There are other ways to describe someone sitting up without actually using the words "sat up." *shrug*

She bolted - sprang - shot - up

Alert now, she stood.

Quilliam said:

Won't these get mixed up with "she stood up alertly?"

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Depends on how the scene was set up prior to & after the line in question. It'll only be as clear or as murky as you, the author, make it.

Good luck

Believe it or not, 'She sat up', would probably do the trick, if you have a sense of timing in your writing. For example:

Brutal Mustang said:

Believe it or not, 'She sat up', would probably do the trick, if you have a sense of timing in your writing. For example:

Dan poured his coffee. "I'm going to the store while I'm out. Do you need anything?"

She turned a page of her book. "Nah."

"Okay. I'll also stop by my father's house, and give him back his ball joint kit."

"Okay."

"Oh, and while I'm out, I may stop by that horse farm. Been thinking lately--"

She sat up. "I'm going with you!"
​

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True, but it also kind of depends on whether Quilliam is trying to express any meaning with "alertly." If I were to write this, I'd probably write something like "She quickly sat up and snapped, 'I'm going with you!'" I feel like the combination of having a modified verb plus an action verb adds clarity and conveys a sense of urgency.

So I guess it kind of depends on your context...

If you're worried some verbs could convey she's standing up and not sitting up, you could go with "She sat up, alert." Keep it simple.

Quilliam said:

She sat up alertly.

The adverb is kinda ugly. Any ideas on how to express the same thing with a stronger verb? Nothing pops in my mind right now :/

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Why is it ugly? It's just an adverb. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to eliminate all adverbs.

None of the other suggestions get across the same image. Someone can jerk upright without being alert. Obviously, it depends on context, but you don't have to eliminate every adverb just because it's a rule.

The adverb alertly describes the manner in which she sat up, and that makes no sense. An action can't be alert.

You're trying to say that "She" was alert, not that the action was alert, so just use "alert," like Kolta suggested.

She sat up, alert.

or add to it in some way.

She sat up, alert for any danger (or whatever).

If you're not changing the vocab (and no, I don't think anyone would assume that a previously lying down person "jerking upright" means that they managed to jerk all the way to a standing position...), then +1 Brutal Mustang and guttersquid.

She came to attention.

Was she not alert before? Drugged or something? Asleep? The reason I ask is I expect characters are alert already, without being told.

It seems that often a writer is a little too desperate to describe something, anything. Like not doing one's job well enough if not telling the reader every little thing.

Quilliam said:

She sat up alertly.

The adverb is kinda ugly. Any ideas on how to express the same thing with a stronger verb? Nothing pops in my mind right now :/

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Adverbs aren't always bad. But I agree, "alertly" is a bit awkward there. How to go about fixing it depends on whether you're in this character's pov or the pov of an omniscient narrator, or the pov of another character who is observing her behavior.

Some ideas:

She jerked upright in the chair.
She sat up, heart pounding.
She sat up and scanned the room.
She sat up. What was that noise?
She sat up, an alert expression on her face.
She sat up, eyes wide.


Or even just: She sat up.

Sometimes the context shows the reader what the character's state of mind is.

Actually (<-- we've all heard that one), I don't think I've heard "alertly" before this thread.

Quilliam said:

She sat up alertly.

The adverb is kinda ugly. Any ideas on how to express the same thing with a stronger verb? Nothing pops in my mind right now :/

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I've read this a few times, and I don't think the problem is the adverb. You view it as looking ugly, and changing it because of that is a bad idea. Looking ugly isn't a story related reason to not use it, but an aesthetic one. And this makes me wonder, what are the scentences in the surrounding scene and paragraph like?

I'll be honest with you, they are what dictates whether alertly should be changed or not. If it doesn't fit or hold its own with the rest, it should be changed. The way it should be change will depend on the way it isn't fitting in. Stronger description and structure for something which needs it etc. There's however, nothing, and I do mean nothing wrong with an appropriately used adverb.

I think Lillith has hit on a major point. The problem isn't simply the adverb, it's that the adverb doesn't really convey a very specific concept. That can be a problem with a lot of adverbs. As a reader, I'm just not quite sure what is meant by "sat up alertly". But that may also be an issue of context, and your example doesn't include what went before that statement. Is she startled at the time? Awakened? Has she been waiting, expecting something? If you're startled, or awakened, you might be confused, disoriented, fearful, lots of other things. If you're waiting for something, and it happens, you'll have been alert before you sit up. Context matters a lot in finding the precise way to express something like this. And maybe the adverb isn't the best way of expressing that. And maybe it is.

caw

Quilliam said:

She sat up alertly.

The adverb is kinda ugly. Any ideas on how to express the same thing with a stronger verb? Nothing pops in my mind right now :/

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One way might be:

She sat up, alert.

Quilliam said:

She sat up alertly.

The adverb is kinda ugly. Any ideas on how to express the same thing with a stronger verb? Nothing pops in my mind right now :/

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Context matters here, so it's difficult to know for sure what to write.

She sat up.

She sat up, every sense alert.

She sat up, wide awake, every sense alert.

Maybe something like this:

She sat up and scanned the room for threats.

Obviously, it depends on what's going on here. That's why it's difficult for us to offer definitive advice. We need the context to know if the adverb works.

I'd probably make it two sentences.

She sat (sprang) up. Alert, she...