Novel is too close for comfort

Well, I don't have any physical effects, and no regrets, but a novel that's too close for comfort is probably the best novel you could possibly write.

Stress goes right to my stomach, too. But like J.Ritchie said, if it hurts, then it's most likely very good. Sorry to hear that it's painful for you, but I would get through the edits as fast (but not half-heartedly) as you can. Try to envision you're working on someone else's life. But have sympathy for yourself and know that you made it through some hard times, and you're better and wiser because of them. And though it's a novel, your experiences just may help save someone else from the same pain. I wish you strength, this too shall pass.

When I wrote my first novel I went through the gamut of emotions, but I knew why; the MC was based on someone close to me with whom I'd had a complex relationship, someone who had a big effect on my life. What I didn't know as I was writing it was that my subconscious had been telling me that I had to write it; first to be able to see these issues and then to try and understand them. Once I did - and it was a process marked by many nights of anger, sadness, revelations, and ultimate forgiveness - they lost their power over me. I forgave. I think it's a healthy journey. I think if you can find it in yourself to understand and then forgive, it will add years to your life. Just as when you write a story that's pure fiction (is there any such thing since everything comes from our experiences firsthand otherwise?) you have to have empathy for your characters. You find your empathy when you look at background, when you get to the 'why' people are what they are and do what they do.

On a loosely related note, just today I ordered a non-fiction book by an old friend of mine. A woman who lost her son and then her husband when the loss was too much for him and he took his own life. I know she had to write this book. She had a long period of grief and sadness and all the bad relatives, so it was a catharsis that she fought through and she's come out the other side smiling and with a perspective that will allow her to go on.

In short, I think it's painful but ultimately healthy, and as corny and trite as it sounds, forgiveness, it's the best thing for you.

I agree. This is probably a good sign. The best reading experience is when the book really hits home. Often, the best writing comes from what you feel deeply in the gut.

It's interesting that you didn't realize this until you started editing with the publisher. I guess the events were back in your subconscious when you initially wrote it and not on the tip of your mind.

I am currently editing a book that was partly based on some bad things that have happened to me. On top of that, I wrote the first draft while in the hospital. I had a one-year break between the second and third drafts because I just couldn't bring myself to work on it. It was too hard. I was afraid I'd never be able to work on it again, then I suddenly had this strong urge to do it, to get this story out into the world. It came out of nowhere. It was just like...this is my story. It is still a little bit hard for me to work on, and I cry whenever I read it through. I hope that means it's good, but that could just be me recalling events in my own life. Don't really have an advice, just my experience.

Good question. I could argue both sides right now since it's exactly what's on my monkey mind.

Gringa

Somebody - can't remember who - said "write the hardest thing." Also, writing books can be a form of therapy - it certainly has been for me, more than once.

Diana_Rajchel said:

Also, writing books can be a form of therapy - it certainly has been for me, more than once.

Click to expand...

Me too.

Bawdy/black humor and alcohol are the traditional shields which we males use against painful emotion when we can't simply evade the stimulus. Also cigarettes and uppers and boners. Those of the sissier disposition go for greasy junk comfort food.

Just a quick note to express sympathy, I know the feeling, too. I try to do painful edits in as few sessions as possible. There's always a sigh of relief when they're done.

All of what I write is a reflection of my reality. But my near-to or merely undiagnosed PTSD may have hardened me to emotional reactions to what I write. When I do get emotional reactions to what I write, it is usually in the other direction, like when I write of a ShadowHaunt causing one person to rip his own bits off and shove them into where they should be so violently they end up rupturing his stomach (for instance), I enjoy it so much that I can taste it.

But one solution I can suggest is to alter your environment so that you are as calm and relaxed and positively-stimulated as you can be. If sweet music accomplishes that, play it. If watching a good film as you type accomplishes that... hell, if you have a laptop, take your document down to the park and watch the birds or similar. Smoke a bit of weed if you have to. (Unless that REALLY is not your thing, anyway.)