Consent in Romance novels?

The characters deciding to have an abortion (did I interpret that right?) is a daring move, and it's possible that that could push it out of romance and into "mainstream love story" territory because of genre conventions. But don't let that stop you from trying to publish it. Personally, I'd like to see more love stories exploring that kind of territory.

Disclaimer: I am not an agent, just a reader and writer.

If you haven't done so yet, I'd get a few beta readers to take a look at it and give their opinions. Genre can be a matter of tone and style as much as content. But I don't see the consent thing being an issue by any means. There are many different kinds of romances on the market; plenty of them don't take after 50 Shades.

Consent shouldn't be an issue. I don't think all romance/erotica books involve greying that line all the time do they? Some do have consent written into it don't they? I don't think you should worry about that. What I would worry about is why you have a scene involving an abortion that you can easily take it out of the book? Shouldn't every part of your book be integral to its whole? And I mean, it's one thing to say that about a coffee date scene or an ice skating scene, but an abortion is not a small deal, even if both parties are totally cool with it and it isn't remotely emotionally upsetting, it is a physical ordeal and not that pleasant to go through, there's recovery time etc. It's not just one quick scene that you can easily chop out. At least in my opinion.

In general, if you feel you can easily get rid of something, then maybe you should. And what purpose does the abortion serve if it's just something that can be taken out with minimal effect to the rest of the story?

This then leads me to worry that what you've written might be a little soap-boxy. You seem VERY invested in the consent thing (I totally approve, high five for that), and you have a scene about abortion that you can evidently easily remove from the book, and both those things suggest you are trying to preach to the reader, talk about issues, teach them something. First and foremost your book should tell a story, it should entertain. No one likes to be preached to. I should know, I write for kids, and I do love a good lesson here and there and it's a very fine line making sure the lesson doesn't get in the way of the story. Story wins out every time.

So yeah. I wouldn't worry so much if you are being risque or something with the consent thing. I would worry more if the consent issue is taking too much of a front row seat and overshadowing your story (also, still confused about the abortion scene and why it's necessary if you can just get rid of it like that).

Kensingtons said:

My question is how does my consent romance novel fit into the larger market? Could it hold me back because it doesn't conform to traditional romance themes? Could /Should I play it up in queries? Will my characters choosing not to keep a baby completely axe my chances of publication?

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Erm... maybe I've misunderstood you, but... are you suggesting consensual sex is unusual in the romance market?

The Otter said:

The characters deciding to have an abortion (did I interpret that right?) is a daring move, and it's possible that that could push it out of romance and into "mainstream love story" territory because of genre conventions. But don't let that stop you from trying to publish it. Personally, I'd like to see more love stories exploring that kind of territory.

Disclaimer: I am not an agent, just a reader and writer.

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I was going to say something along the lines of this, and I'd also echo Toothpaste's concerns.

That's not a sentence you say every day.

I think possibly you need to read more in the romance genre. From my reading experience, romance novels with consensual relationships are quite prevalent.

Also I think it's not necessarily correct to say a relationship with an obviously dominant/submissive partnership is non-consensual. Even in 50 Shades the female character has the capacity to say no at any time. She chooses not to. The male does pursue her in a manner that many women would find off-putting, but obviously for her it's a turn-on. Just because you or I might think she's a twit being led around by her vagina doesn't make the relationship non-consensual.

So basically, if your selling point is solely that the relationship is consensual, I think you need to find a bigger point of difference to pitch it with.

What I don't get is how is it that your characters are smart about consent, but not basic preventative birth control?

I echo the advice to read more Romance. There's lots of romance out there where consent is explicit, and I'd say the vast majority of romance involves clear consent, even if it's not directly discussed.

If you have trouble finding representation for your book, it won't be because your characters consent to sex.

Kensingtons said:

Okay, whew, that was a lot of backstory. My question is how does my consent romance novel fit into the larger market? Could it hold me back because it doesn't conform to traditional romance themes?

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I'm not sure what "traditional romance" is, but if it means non-consensual sex, then there's a vast, vast quantity of non-traditional romance out there.

Just a few authors I can think of : Pamela Morsi, Mary Balogh, Courtney Milan, Lorraine Heath. All of them have fully consensual sex scenes, and they seem to sell quite well.

Will my characters choosing not to keep a baby completely axe my chances of publication?

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I've read one romance where the heroine has an abortion, because she believes the hero has left her. Later he comes back, so there's some fallout from the decision. So the abortion causes some conflict in their relationship.

I'm not sure what role the abortion plays in your characters' relationship, because I get the impression that it's there to make a point about reproductive rights, just as the rest of the story makes a point about consent. Hopefully I'm wrong about that. I think reproductive rights is a fantastic issue to be addressed in fiction, but as Toothpaste said, the story comes first. Readers can get a sense when they're being sent a message, and that would actually turn me off more than D/S or forced seduction.

I don't think consent is even a consciously perceived thing anymore because of the very 50 shades effect you mentioned. Lines have blurred. So I don't even think anyone will notice that you use consent.
While I personally cringe whenever a partner interrogates me on whether I'm liking it or okay with something because I just want to get it on (with), as long as it's not too much "Can I touch you there?", there shouldn't be a problem including consent in your story. Of course, if you make it a "subliminal" lecture on consent and sex ed, it may bore.

I've made the same sad observation. While I personally don't care about explicit consent (as in, direct speech "Yes"), as long as it's hot and serves the story, I do care about real peoples' attitudes towards it. And yeah, I see more and more writers - real people - especially those thinking they're writing BDSM, throwing consent out the window and thinking that's cute.
I read a free Kindle ebook where the female MC is told by her boss to spread her legs and touch herself in his office as a punishment for being late to work. If you write this as abusive, fine. But it was portrayed as merely awkward and the start of budding romance, so WTF! So when it's not portrayed as a dark, twisted thing - and I love dark and twisted - this kind of interaction is both cringe-worthy and deal-breaking to me.
My WIP has an MC seeking out abusive relations because he's subconsciously trying to nudge himself into completely giving up because that's easier than hanging on. But the story isn't cute. It's blatantly messed up. He's blatantly messed up. He's not going around like those characters you're referring to, and portraying his mess of a sex life as cutesy-wootsy.

I say, bring back the consent. You've written it, you believe in it, and you might just help steering readership minds back to non-rapey romance. But being revolutionary comes with being unpopular, so prepare for that. But as I said, I don't think people will even notice anymore. Consent, shmonsent, if you will. But maybe that's just me being dark again. Whatever the case, publish it and put it out there for all to read and remember that consent is actually not that boring.

You said that you don't like romance novels, but you wrote one. Why? Is the intent to teach us romance readers a lesson? I really have to wonder what romance novels you are reading. Most of what I've read in the last ten years or so has been heavy on consent with a few exceptions here and there.

If you follow romance writers and the agents who rep them, you'll find that consent is an issue that is being emphasized more and more. I don't think that will be a problem. However, if your book has the same tone of disdain as this post, it's going to be obvious to readers. A lack of enjoyment of the genre is going to bleed through.

As for the abortion, that would turn me off. I'm actually pro-choice, but that doesn't mean I want to read about an abortion as my last impression of the characters. I want a happy ending, and abortions are often quite painful even for those who don't regret them. I don't think I'd want to read about a character who is so shallow or callous that they just shrug it off, so I wouldn't expect a light ending from this.

Sex scenes do not a romance novel make, regardless of how well-written they are. For me, overly graphic sex scenes make me stop reading the novel. I read romance, not porn.

I'm seldom happy to hear a writer say his novel is really good. I hope yours is, but writers are teh worst possible judges of their own work, and my experience is that manuscripts the writer thinks is really good are usually in need of help.

As for consent, not all romance novels are like this, but I wouldn't read one that isn't. Other things, such as stalking, are often in the eye of the beholder.

But none of this should matter to you. The only way to write a really good novel is to write it your way. Go against your own beliefs, and you'll probably write something that's unpublishable.

It seems like sex overrides most everything these days in romance. And yup, I'm one of those erotic romance authors

Sex sells to a certain degree, but I like to think most readers also want a good story attached and for the sex to me just another aspect of the story. Of course there are readers out there who love lots of sex in stories too.

As a reader, I personally prefer stories with not a ton of sex. I also skip sex scenes at times when reading. I have a strong liking for Christian romance which is often a shocker to some people when I reveal my reading tastes in romance. As a reader I prefer the focus to be on the story and not the sex. Not that I am against anyone else liking it. Each to their own.

My best advice to any writer period is to write the story the way they want to. Worry about the rest later.

Even in my BDSM books, consent is crucial. Actually, it can be more crucial in a D/s relationship, since real physical pain is often involved and there must be an extremely high level of trust.

I don't read YA romance, so I can't speak to that, but I've read hundreds and hundreds (thousands?) of adult romance/erotic romance. I haven't noticed a "creepy rape undertone" trend. I've read a few with dubious consent, but the vast majority are clearly consensual. Not that the characters put the steamy sex on hold while they sign consent contracts, but it's clear no one is being forced into something they don't want to do.

I didn't realize consent was so uncommon. Personally, if someone did something in a romance that involved proceeding without consent, and that act wasn't reacted to as a sexual assault, I'd stop reading. But I don't really like sex in romance novels anyway. I usually skim over it. What I want is great dialogue and interactions that are filled with sexual tension, which is different from graphic descriptions of sex.

Andi, as others in this thread have said, consent in romance is NOT uncommon. Many, if not most, romance stories include CONSENSUAL sex.

Old-school romances sometimes had questionable consent between characters, but nowadays, that isn't the case. Unfortunately, because of those old-school romances and things like FSoG, there's a perception, particularly among those who haven't read a lot of current romance, that there's questionable if any consent.

Nonconsensual sex isn't perceived by many readers as sexy or romantic. Therefore, it isn't often portrayed in romances. I have "nonconsent" in one of my romances, but it is actually consensual; it's part of a roleplay between husband and wife, and everything was agreed on beforehand.

Brutal Mustang said:

What I don't get is how is it that your characters are smart about consent, but not basic preventative birth control?

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Perhaps it's because there is not a single birth control method that is 100% effective. Art imitates life.