AW Amazon Affiliate Store

confused by self-publishing? Find your way to self-publishing success in just 5 easy steps with this free how-to guide!

Editing for authors: because every writer needs a good editor.

If this site is helpful to you,
Please consider a voluntary subscription to defray ongoing expenses.


 

Welcome to the AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler! Please read The Newbie Guide To Absolute Write

Page 1 of 19 123456711 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 473

Thread: The utterly squalid, wretchedly deprived, bravely-trying-to-maintain-appearances tea salon

  1. #1
    permaflounced
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    .
    Posts
    24,042

    The utterly squalid, wretchedly deprived, bravely-trying-to-maintain-appearances tea salon

    At last. A brand no longer new, shiny, clean, non-disgusting, smut-free, unclean, unfunny, mildly totally disgusting, occasionally smutty & smelly, battery-freeinfested, flatulence-free tea salon -- a place for wholesome and sophisticated wit.

    *sits on [somewhat stained] white sofa*

    *sips tea*

    *admires shining sticky, begrimed white walls and floors*

    *waits for droves of sophisticated, wholesome, shiny, clean, non-disgusting, smut-free, flatulence-free humorists*
    Last edited by CassandraW; 03-01-2015 at 12:11 AM. Reason: merciful heavens, I made a typo in the title. I swoon at the disgrace.

  2. #2
    Wait! What is that smell?

  3. #3
    Born long ago, in a different era T Robinson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Southern USA
    Posts
    1,282
    Quote Originally Posted by Fruitbat View Post
    Wait! What is that smell?
    Just someone having the "vapors."

  4. #4
    permaflounced
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    .
    Posts
    24,042
    Damn it. Did Porter get in here already?

    This is why we can't have nice things.

  5. #5
    nutruring tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Moose Creek, Maine
    Posts
    32,633
    * farts *
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/

    http://absolutelyunofficialpac12spor....blogspot.com/



    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown
    some people have a hard time keeping up with the vanguard ... of course most of those are called survivors - PSB

  6. #6
    nutruring tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Moose Creek, Maine
    Posts
    32,633
    * spits on floor *
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/

    http://absolutelyunofficialpac12spor....blogspot.com/



    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown
    some people have a hard time keeping up with the vanguard ... of course most of those are called survivors - PSB

  7. #7
    nutruring tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Moose Creek, Maine
    Posts
    32,633
    * curls up on white couch *
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/

    http://absolutelyunofficialpac12spor....blogspot.com/



    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown
    some people have a hard time keeping up with the vanguard ... of course most of those are called survivors - PSB

  8. #8
    Born long ago, in a different era T Robinson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Southern USA
    Posts
    1,282
    You didn't take low bid on the ventilation system did you?

  9. #9
    nutruring tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Moose Creek, Maine
    Posts
    32,633
    ZZZZZZZZZ frtl ZZZZZZ
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/

    http://absolutelyunofficialpac12spor....blogspot.com/



    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown
    some people have a hard time keeping up with the vanguard ... of course most of those are called survivors - PSB

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by PorterStarrByrd View Post
    * spits on floor *
    Did you spit from your mouth this time?

  11. #11
    permaflounced
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    .
    Posts
    24,042
    Quote Originally Posted by T Robinson View Post
    You didn't take low bid on the ventilation system did you?

    Well, I did put the place up in kind of a hurry. And on the cheap.

  12. #12
    Born long ago, in a different era T Robinson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Southern USA
    Posts
    1,282
    Almost a cliche like "bull in a china shop."

    Instead we have a moose in a clean room.

  13. #13
    nutruring tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Moose Creek, Maine
    Posts
    32,633
    scrhnchh schrnchh schrnchh

    ZZZZZZ
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/

    http://absolutelyunofficialpac12spor....blogspot.com/



    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown
    some people have a hard time keeping up with the vanguard ... of course most of those are called survivors - PSB

  14. #14
    permaflounced
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    .
    Posts
    24,042
    Looking on the bright side, at least there's no smut. And no batteries.

  15. #15
    Born long ago, in a different era T Robinson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Southern USA
    Posts
    1,282
    What types of tea will be served?

  16. #16
    nutruring tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Moose Creek, Maine
    Posts
    32,633
    * drools *


    ZZZZZ
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/

    http://absolutelyunofficialpac12spor....blogspot.com/



    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown
    some people have a hard time keeping up with the vanguard ... of course most of those are called survivors - PSB

  17. #17
    Where is the teabagging done?

  18. #18
    permaflounced
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    .
    Posts
    24,042
    Quote Originally Posted by T Robinson View Post
    What types of tea will be served?
    well, I'm drinking the darjeeling. We have a lovely oolong, an English breakfast blend, earl gray, a full selection of herbal teas, a nice matcha and a yame gyokuro, and a lapsang souchong.

    Also, there are delicate pastries and dainty, crustless sandwiches.

    ETA:

    Fruitbat. We will have no references to tea-bagging here. This is a smut-free zone. All of our tea is loose.

    ETA:

    I mean, it's not in bags. It's not promiscuous. No.
    Last edited by CassandraW; 02-12-2015 at 04:24 AM.

  19. #19
    nutruring tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Moose Creek, Maine
    Posts
    32,633
    * slurps tea *

    tastes like Constant Comment
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/

    http://absolutelyunofficialpac12spor....blogspot.com/



    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown
    some people have a hard time keeping up with the vanguard ... of course most of those are called survivors - PSB

  20. #20
    permaflounced
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    .
    Posts
    24,042
    At least there are no batteries.

  21. #21
    nutruring tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Moose Creek, Maine
    Posts
    32,633
    * drops a few cookie crumbs on white couch *


    Taste like Oreos
    Last edited by PorterStarrByrd; 02-14-2015 at 08:26 PM.
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/

    http://absolutelyunofficialpac12spor....blogspot.com/



    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown
    some people have a hard time keeping up with the vanguard ... of course most of those are called survivors - PSB

  22. #22
    permaflounced
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    .
    Posts
    24,042
    I really should have specified that this was a moose-free zone.

    I shall chalk it up to a learning experience.

  23. #23
    Twitching ap123's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    In the 212
    Posts
    4,233
    Any cake being served with this tea?
    Doing the backstroke in the beer moat.

    Try it, you might like it. Blogging life in the big city with Mrs Fringe.

  24. #24
    permaflounced
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    .
    Posts
    24,042
    Unfortunately, Porter has devoured the cake. He's ground some crumbs into the rug and sofa, however.

    He might have left a couple of dainty, crustless sandwiches.

  25. #25
    Twitching ap123's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    In the 212
    Posts
    4,233
    ooh, cucumber!
    Doing the backstroke in the beer moat.

    Try it, you might like it. Blogging life in the big city with Mrs Fringe.

Page 1 of 19 123456711 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Custom Search