Airline Humiliates Toddler - Or Not. When Parental Social Media Outrage Backfires.

DancingMaenid said:

My understanding is that part of the problem wasn't just that they wanted to hold her, but that airline regulations mandate that each passenger at least has a seatbelt and oxygen mask. Since Ivy's seat was in a totally different part of the plane, she may not have had an oxygen mask.

I think a lot of the trouble could have been solved by talking to the airline ahead of time and giving them a heads up, and maybe having a doctor's note ready. It's risky to just assume that there won't be an issue, and it's understandable that flight attendants might not know exactly what should be done in this situation. Talking to the airline ahead of time, and following up, might have helped streamline things.

Also, I'm curious what they do when Ivy rides in a car, which I assume she probably does. I don't think there's anything wrong with her parents holding her on the plane since she's small enough, but I'm still curious.

Click to expand...

I've traveled with family and friends who have special needs kids. They always call ahead and the airline bends over backwards to accommodate. These people were either too stupid to execute basic common sense, or, they were thinking that someone else on the airplane was going to magically make instant accommodations. Or, they were trying to scam the system somehow. Why, I cannot tell. Why do kids need first class tickets to begin With? Unless they are used to this lifestyle? In which case, what does it say about the parents who felt their special needs kid wasn't worth a first class ticket?

What makes me wonder is this. If they were wealthy enough to afford first-class seats, why could they not have paid for an extra, told the airline beforehand that they had a special needs child, and then worked out some kind of arrangement? Most airlines will, at the very least, try to get some kind of arrangement done, as they don't want another mark against them.

When my children were little, once they reached the age where we had to pay for them to have their own seats, we did. (Economy...I ain't rich). When my little boy was three and scared on his first flight, my wife asked the cabin attendant permission to hold him during takeoff and landing.

The cabin attendant replied yes, if you're aware of the possible danger. My wife said she understood and fortunately, nothing happened. Now, my children aren't special needs kids, so this woman in the original article had a point of asking for special dispensation for her child, but all the same, it smacks of a scam...and I don't like anyone scamming the system.

veinglory said:

If they wanted an exemption from the rule wouldn't they
1) Discuss it with an airline representative in advance and at the gate and
2) if still required to buy the child a seat get one next to them and fit a child seat to it?

I get that the rule as it is doesn't apply well to their child but I don't think you get to play the righteous indignation card without making a reasonable attempt to avoid a predictable conflict where the front line worker has to decide how much to put their ass on the line breaking a rule they agreed to follow with only a few minutes to think about it.

Click to expand...

Agree with all of this. The rule exists for passenger safety, and if the flight attendants need to make an exception, they need to know in advance. If the parents didn't let them know, then they are, at least partially, at fault.

Airline rules are stricter than ever, and if you're hoping to be an exception to them, yeah, you'd probably better get that cleared ahead of time.

Barring that, it's very possible to hold a child sitting right next to you upright - I've done it with my own kids when they were so sound asleep their little bodies were limp as rag dolls. This is especially true if the child is small as a two-year-old. So they bought one ticket in economy? Send the smaller, weaker parent there and let the child sit next to the parent best able to hold them in a comfortable position during take-off, then slide them into their lap once the plane is in the air.

Done and done.

Ugh, this mother. Just...ugh.

As someone else mentioned, the whole story is fishy and it does seem to me they purchased that economy ticket as a way of trying to scam a cheaper first class ticket for Ivy. It reveals a lot about their character that their child with special needs is the one they purchased the economy ticket for, rather than for one of the parents or other kids (if they were old enough). They were going to put a brain-damaged three year old in a seat by herself in another part of the aircraft, apart from the rest of the family? Well, then they're absolutely shitty people and they deserve whatever backlash they get.

And, I seriously doubt that 3 out of the 4 flight attendants were on the parents' side. That's just what the mom is telling us. Usually, when someone is telling a bullshit story and wanting sympathy or to seem like they were the victims or that their shit don't stink or whatever, they always claim that everyone around them was on their side (e.g. I heard this one the other day: "That girl behind the cash register was being so rude to me and everyone in line was just appalled at how she was treating me!" Uh huh. Sure). Which is a totally unverifiable claim unless all of those unnamed people were to suddenly come forward and corroborate.

I'm also always disgusted when someone uses a child, but especially when they use a disabled or sick child, to garner attention and sympathy for themselves. It's become especially bad now with social media. The most innocuous of trifles, inconveniences, or imagined askance glances are blown totally out of proportion and confabulated into a steaming pile of "feel sorry for me and give me attention!" horse shit, which usually coincides with a viral Facebook campaign, media coverage/appearances, and sometimes donation requests. And, a lot of the stories are total bullshit. Hell, most of them probably are.

cornflake said:

There are plenty of regular car seats that are rated for airline travel. Not every one is, but there are those that are and will strap into airline seats using the seatbelt.

Lots of people take advantage of the lap-child status while the kid is young enough, and god knows it's expensive (and generally safe, obvs) to fly, but there are certainly people who always buy a seat and just use a carseat, because it is safer (and easier than holding a kid the entire flight, heh).

Click to expand...

I can get why people would want to try and save as much and for as long as they can. I'm a penny pincher myself. And I might feel differently when put in the position to shell out an extra thousand bucks for my child. But if these people can afford 5 first class tickets, you know they're abusing the system to score sympathy and/or possible vacant nearby seat, as mentioned by others.

Lillith1991 said:

I expect she has a special carseat, and probably a special stroller for when they're walking. I didn't get the impression she is held 24/7, because that just isn't feasible. Doing the shopping when the other kids are at school would be impossible if that was the case, and other household things as well for that matter.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I guess what I'm wondering is why they couldn't have used a carseat on the plane. Maybe it wouldn't have been possible, and I try not to judge what accommodations a disabled person needs or can use. I'm just curious why that wouldn't have been a possibility. Even if the parents preferred to hold her (which is understandable), I would think that having a way of fastening her into a seat would also be nice (in case, for example, there was bad turbulence).

cornflake said:

Lots of people take advantage of the lap-child status while the kid is young enough, and god knows it's expensive (and generally safe, obvs) to fly, but there are certainly people who always buy a seat and just use a carseat, because it is safer (and easier than holding a kid the entire flight, heh).

Click to expand...

I agree with everything Cornflake has said in this thread, and just want to extrapolate on this important point.

Some people seem to be under the impression that a seat isn't "really" needed for an infant that can be held on the lap, because "In the highly unlikely even of a crash, everybody is going to die anyway."

That's short sighted. The value of the seat isn't in crashes, it's in aborted take-offs and rough landings. ETA which are a lot more common than crashes, but rarely make the news.

My dad's job had him flying frequently for work. On one flight, takeoff was aborted and as you can imagine, that means a very fast moving plane must rapidly decelerate. As this happened, a lap baby flew off a parental lap, hit floor, somersaulted down the aisle and slammed into the cockpit door. An ambulance was called in and the baby and its parents deboarded.

I've only flown with a baby of my own once. She was about 14 months old, and you bet she was in her own seat and strapped in a car seat. We do this in cars without question; any "reason" for not doing it in a plane (especially during take-off, landing or rough air) is an excuse, and a lame one at that. Can't afford it? Sorry, then you can't really afford to fly with your kid.

DOUCHEBAG PARENTS OF THE YEAR AWARD! What a great honour. Now, think of the impossibility of them keeping that award...with all the douchebaggery going on with partents and their tots these days, I'm sure they will be ousted by noon!

Devil Ledbetter said:

I've only flown with a baby of my own once. She was about 14 months old, and you bet she was in her own seat and strapped in a car seat. We do this in cars without question; any "reason" for not doing it in a plane (especially during take-off, landing or rough air) is an excuse, and a lame one at that. Can't afford it? Sorry, then you can't really afford to fly with your kid.

Click to expand...

It's a good move. You don't use safety equipment for the hundreds of hours everything goes right but for the ten seconds when it all goes wrong.

For instance, I had a flight once that went from perfectly smooth to Vomit Comet without warning due to rough air. Anyone standing or seated without their seatbelt on went airborne for a short period. (Fortunately, there were no serious injuries. There were a lot of awkward apologies, though.) It would have been tough to keep hold of an infant or toddler in that moment, even if you'd been ready for it.

I've also been on a plane a with rough landing. The plane bounced down the runway and decelerated unusually fast. I've no idea what was going on there but, again, keeping hold of a kid would have been hard.

Sometimes I think that air travel has become so routine and safe that we don't respect the power of it.

William Haskins said:

my parents always checked me with the bags.

Click to expand...

You were lucky. My parents always left me at home, where I had to spend the whole two weeks fending off a pair of comically inept burglars.

JimmyB27 said:

You were lucky. My parents always left me at home, where I had to spend the whole two weeks fending off a pair of

Click to expand...

I really though you were going to say a pair of Siamese cats.

JimmyB27 said:

You were lucky. My parents always left me at home, where I had to spend the whole two weeks fending off a pair of comically inept burglars.

Click to expand...

It was all good until William's parents left him at the baggage carousel.

Opty said:

It's become especially bad now with social media. The most innocuous of trifles, inconveniences, or imagined askance glances are blown totally out of proportion and confabulated into a steaming pile of "feel sorry for me and give me attention!" horse shit, which usually coincides with a viral Facebook campaign, media coverage/appearances, and sometimes donation requests. And, a lot of the stories are total bullshit. Hell, most of them probably are.

Click to expand...

Completely agree.

Remember the mom blogger who claimed the TSA took her child away from her, out of her sight, for ten minutes? And the TSA posted video that proved it never happened?

It's ridiculous. Add stories like this to all of the "They didn't tip me because I'm gay/they said I was fat," stories. Sheesh.