What if I'm more excited about the notion of getting my name on some book and my story in pages?
I 100% understand this. I feel it too. The thing is, though, if you want to have written, you have to write. If you want to have read, you have to read. There is no way around this. There's this idea that gets thrown around that if you don't love every second of writing, you aren't cut out for it, but I don't buy that. There are plenty of activities that I don't love to do, but I love the results of having done them (working out...cleaning my house...studying...). You want your name on that book. I get that. Keep that image in your head. The only way to combat a natural inclination towards listlessness is with an unwavering hunger for self-actualization. From what I've read from you, I think you have that hunger, but self-doubt gets in your way. You really need to bury that. I agree with others who say stop using the word "should" about your activities. There is no single correct path to any aspiration.
And by the way, I don't read as much as I should either. I don't write as much as I should. I let life get in the way everyday. But that is 100% in my control, and I could change it at any time. Reading your posts, I don't get the sense that you feel you are in control of your life. You write things like "I know I should read more, but I just don't and I don't know why." I know why
I don't do things I should do. I am lazy and hard-headed and suffer from terrible inertia (not saying any of these things apply to you! These are just my reasons) However, reading back, you do mention you suffer from depression. I'm very sorry. It's such a nasty thing. I hope you are getting help with that. I can't say I've ever experienced serious depression but I do sometimes go through periods when I can't seem to function on a normal level (showering, opening mail, cleaning, etc.) and want to sleep all the time. Maybe mild, situation depression? I always end up having to yank myself out of these funks, sometimes quite forcefully, because I've experienced them often enough to recognize what's happening. I understand mental illness is not always something one has any control over, but my point is that if you can recognize negative patterns of behavior in yourself you can go a long way towards cutting them off before they have a chance to overwhelm you.
I'm rambling now, though, and totally off topic from your original question, so I'll shut up. If you ever want to talk about these issues, though, shoot me a PM!