Check In- What Are You Doing?

Thanks, altoid. It was a messy divorce, years and years ago now. I honestly don't even really think about it (or him) much at all anymore, but seeing him in person brings a lot of it back to the surface. I guess you never really forget some things, but I moved on a long time ago.

Somewhat ironically, I learned a lot about V's own divorce this morning, and for him the pain is still raw and very deep. So I can say with certainty he is not using me at all, he really is hurting badly. As I mentioned once before, it's something I recognize in others because of my own. I hate being right about it, though.

I'm not dumb enough to think I can "heal" him, but if he needs me I'll be there. No one ever was for me.

Anyway, no point dwelling on this stuff when there's so much to do.

Got a coffee in hand and lots of plans. First up, need to set up my BuJo for next week.

thereeness - The secret of getting humans crunchy is to dip them in batter and cook them at 450. (This is also the secret to getting store-bought chicken strips truly crispy, I've found. The package sometimes says 425, but it has to be 450 or they just don't crisp right. Fries, too, unless they're the little ones.)

Sunday, and I still love my new monitor. Got a book review to write up (well, two, technically, but I only have time to write up one right now), then I have to get out to my workshed to find out what else the universe with throw at me to keep me from working on ornaments. I really wanted a coat of Apoxie on the suckers by this time, dang it...

Away I drift.

I've been on a massive decluttering kick lately too. I think it has a lot to do with the end of the year coming up, and wanting my space to be neat for guests and so I have a functioning workspace for holiday-related tasks. And I just go in cycles, I notice whenever I start spending money on myself, I also end up getting rid of things at the same time. I just don't like owning things that much. When I look at the things I do have, they're all either functional (all my baking supplies) or have far more worth than their physical existence--books, games, etc. Yet somehow I still end up with 'stuff' too, just part of life.

That's actually what I'm taking a break from right now, even though it has almost nothing to do with my plans today. Original dinner plans fell through, so I'm continuing with plan "eat all the things in the freezer to make space for cookies" and that sparked a cleaning frenzy lol.

Sunday afternoon, and I'm munching on a sandwich while taking a break from ornament work. With luck, I can get up to the hot gluing phase tonight (helps secure some bits to use hot glue.) If I have tomorrow to myself, might be able to get started on the base coat of Apoxie; there's always a junk coat just to get the armature covered.

May write up that book review while I'm in the house.

About to have chicken, rice and peas for dinner.

Yay!

Swingin' back through again after ornament work... don't mind me...

I got things up to the hot glue stage and decided to stop for the day, a decision helped by the neighbor revving their motorcycle right next to my workshed. Just about jumped through the ceiling when that happened... In any event, I got a fair bit done today, at least, and if I push too far I know I'll mess something up.

Anyway, I just caught up on the review backlog, so now I need to get back to transferring old reviews to the new template. Got about an hour left on dinner (roast night), so I have a little time.

On my big shiny monitor.

I so have to find an excuse to watch something on this baby... if I can guarantee relatives leave me alone.

@Fruitbat - What I meant was that, in YA, a lot of the romance happens between teenagers. Teenagers with no dating history. No chemistry. No build up. It usually begins with the MC and the love interest at odds with each other, if not outright hatred, that somehow, magically, turns to True Wuv halfway through the book. In my current WIP, both my characters are in their 20s. They've dated before. So now, when they're starting out in a relationship, they're talking about things that most couples, especially in mainstream YA, don't talk about. I've started this romance but romance isn't my forte. In many books I've read, I've found the romance either formulaic (romance novels) or trite (YA novels) so I'm a bit out of my depth writing this, especially considering my own lack of dating/romance experience, so I have little to draw from in that regard. So that's why I'm a bit moody in regards to this romantic subplot and why I tend to avoid romance at all costs in my writing. But sometimes....it just kinda creeps up on you.

Well, I did not get any sleep today after work, my eyes are itchy and burning because of this lack, and I'm mentally burned out, so I'm staying home and wrapping myself in a blanket burrito while I chill out with video games and writing. I've ruined my perfect attendance for the month, but considering I've had the past 3 1/2 months without taking any kind of personal day, I've essentially been working 3 jobs, and the onset of winter triggering my seasonal moods...yeah, I need a day. *Burritos self.* See y'all on Wednesday.

thereeness - You might consider just chucking the idea of "romance" (which you admit has negative associations for you) and letting the characters' natural interactions lead that part of the story where it may; it might feel less contrived if it comes from them saying it's a romance, not you telling them it's a romance, if that makes any sense.

Sunday night, and I'm heading off for bedtime reading soon. Got a little site work done after dinner; closing in on the end of the F's. Priority for now is ornaments, but I can't let myself lose all momentum on the transfer, here... and now that I'm back on the big machine, I gotta get the gears engaged to tackle that revision that keeps bugging me.

Blah, Monday already. Where does the weekend go.

Looks to be cold and rainy today, a match to the usual Monday mood at work.

I woke up on time but am feeling completely unmotivated right now.

Dreary here, too. I hope the temp doesn't drop and turn the rain to ice.

Monday means I'm one step closer to my day off. Outlined the paper I need to write yesterday. Today will come the first page (hopefully). I'm trying out my new plan to stave off procrastination. I'm tired of writing entire essays in 3 hours the day that they are due. I would, however, like to find a way to apply the structured and systematic way that I write my academic papers to story crafting. Not sure if there's any common ground there, but if there is I'll find it.

I don't like Mondays.

Too bad they couldn't be as epic as that Boomtown Rats song.

DanielSTJ said:

I don't like Mondays.

Too bad they couldn't be as epic as that Boomtown Rats song.

Click to expand...

Oh, please, let's hope not... (You do know the origins of that song, don't you? Snopes link)

Sounds like it's dreary weather all around. We got some gusts and downpours last night, but it's cleared off a bit today. Some stormy weather is supposed to linger, though.

Need to build on yesterday's ornament momentum. Break out the hot glue, then maybe start the junk coat of Apoxie. My goal is to be up to painting by the first week of December... we'll see how far I miss that mark.

Also need to get back to writing. Feeling the itch bad these days.

And the site isn't going to transfer itself, even after I've patiently demonstrated how to do it hundreds of times.

Off I go. Want to be out in my shed in half an hour, and still have my morning internet rounds to finish.

Brightdreamer said:

Oh, please, let's hope not... (You do know the origins of that song, don't you? Snopes link)

Click to expand...

WHAT!?

Wow. I would NEVER have thought that was the meaning. That's awful.

That completely ruins the song for me.

Methinks I need to do research more often.

I really need to be writing. Instead, I've wasted the day reading and sleeping off a head/neck ache. Ugh.

DanielSTJ said:

WHAT!?

Wow. I would NEVER have thought that was the meaning. That's awful.

That completely ruins the song for me.

Methinks I need to do research more often.

Click to expand...

Yeah, reality kinda sucks the fun out of some things. It does make more sense of the lyrics, though. (This is why lyrics matter...)

The song was reportedly banned from radio play in the area where it happened for years.

Anyway...

Monday afternoon, and the wind continues to gust intermittently. High-speed clouds cruising by... almost looks like a time-lapse out there.

Well, not only did I build two more armatures (it goes so much faster once you know what you're doing...), but I got everything hot glued. May add a little more foil here and there, but I'm about where I wanted to be this time last week: ready to start the Apoxie. I think I'll call it a day on ornament work - don't want to push my luck, especially if we lose power. (Our well's electric - no power means no water which means no washing up.)

Lunch done, and got a book review posted. Now I need to decide if I trust power enough to do site work.

Been away for a while. Gave up on writing, but my brother's activity in the field has brought a story bubbling up in my head, and I have to get it out.

Why is it so hard to find good coworkers? So, one of the staff from the 'other side' was transferred into pharmacy to take the place of our unlamented last attempt at a new dispatcher. Not only is she refusing to train, she's actively disrespecting the team. I let it go the first time, said something the second time, and now it's an 'incident' and I had to fill out a report for the managers. I didn't argue with her or anything, I simply pointed out the way she was saying something was extremely negative toward pharmacy dispatchers, and she apparently took offense to me pointing out she was being offensive. But you know what, we don't need this type of toxicity dragging us down. We have enough to worry about without inter-departmental squabbles. If you don't want to work with this team then you don't need to be on it. IMO anyways, it's not like I have any particular authority.

I don't think anything will really come out of it on my end. The managers were both surprised that I even engaged, however briefly, because I do my best to get along with everyone even if I disagree with them on a personal level. I said my piece and left it at that, because all I wanted was for her to reconsider what she was saying. I had no problem with her before today, but I'm not going to go out of my way for someone who doesn't want to be here. I especially don't need her taking her crappy attitude out on our team in front of the drivers, or worse taking it out on them too. It takes a heck of a lot of work to get this extraordinarily disparate group of people working together, we don't need someone in here actively dismantling all of the work I've done in my time here so far.

It may seem like I idolize the drivers at times, but I really don't. No one's perfect, they've all made mistakes and poor decisions at some point or another (same as everyone in dispatch too we all do dumb crap from time to time). I don't even honestly like all of them. But that doesn't mean they should be treated with disrespect or contempt just because "they're drivers", I hate that. I used to get that all the time as a retail employee. That's why I work so hard to make my desk a space where they don't have to worry about that sort of thing, and why I don't make demands or threats when things go wrong. It's so much easier to just ask someone to do something, and the results are usually much more agreeable to both parties. It's rare for a driver to outright refuse a request from me. Quite the opposite actually, more than one driver has said they'll do something because I asked them, they wouldn't do it for anyone else. Respect goes both ways, funny how that works.

Anyway, that's how my day went. Poorly. And I am still cold and getting tired fast, so it's time to start winding down for the evening.

Nangleator - Yeah, storys'll do that to you... Writing's like chicken pox; once the virus is in your system, it doesn't leave.

DH - Bummer on more work angst.

FB - I can't wait to see the finished ornaments, too... it means I'll be done with them. (There's always a compromise between vision, skill, and reality. I'm not good enough to see it in my head and make it manifest down to the last detail.)

Well, it's just before bedtime on Monday. Lost the internet for much of the afternoon and evening, and didn't trust the power until about an hour ago, so I got another book read and a review posted. (First book review posted today, Unf*ck Your Habitat by Rachel Hoffman, was about cleaning. The second was titled Crap Kingdom, by D. C. Pierson. I'd be lying if I said it was entirely coincidence... Both good books, incidentally.)

I suppose I'd best head off. It's still rather blowy out there.

It effin' snowed last night. Just a dusting, but still. I am not ready for this.

Finally have a day off. It's crazy how 4 days can feel like an eternity in retail. I hope to finish a paper for school and vegetate for the rest of the day. I am so tired. This whole cloudy thing doesn't help much. I had planned on making dinner in my beloved instant pot, but I'm not sure if I can summon the motivation.

Dragonheart: I'm sorry to hear that you're having to go through that. Such a thing does not strike me as fair at all. Not cool.

Brightdreamer: Oooooo, book reviews? I try to contribute on Goodreads but I'm pretty bad. I'll check out your site.

altoid967: Winter's coming fast, isn't it? In my area it was warm until a brief spell of rain. Now, winter is starting to rear its head.

Oh, right. I'm supposed to say what I'm doing. I'm at my desk reading. I'm thinking about taking a nice long walk.

DanielSTJ - They aren't that much... I just like having my own ratings system; not too fond of the format at Goodreads, though every once in a blue moon I update a few things there. (I'm actually in the middle of a ground-up site overhaul, which is why the main review site hasn't been updated since June. Wanted it done by the end of the year, but right now I'll be lucky to hit spring.)

Well, it's Tuesday afternoon, and I can finally say there's some Apoxie on all twelve ornaments. (I only technically need seven, but I like to allow for attrition through failure.) Took two and a half hours, plus some hot gluing of hangers, and one's already decided it's going to be the Difficult One, but I did it. It's going to take more than two sessions to do a complete junk coat, unfortunately, with lots of little fiddly bits that can't be touched while other parts aren't set, but that's always how these things go... Definitely glad I got the extra Apoxie, though. In theory, the top coat won't eat as much. I hope.

Now I can't touch them again until tomorrow. Or Thursday, more likely, as I'll probably have to shop my way home tomorrow and that kills any after-work ornament time.

It's leftover stew night, but I have a few hours before I have to start that. Probably will try to do more review transfers.

Wallowing in self-pity for a number of different reasons.

So now she's giving me the cold shoulder and in her infinite wisdom she's now trash talking us in Spanish instead. Apparently she forgot the other pharmacy dispatcher speaks Spanish...and tbh I know enough Portuguese now that I've started picking up on the Spanish a little bit too.

To be honest it's kind of funny past a certain point. I am just waiting for her to start that crap when one of my drivers is in the room, just for the sheer amusement value of their reactions.

In the meantime I'm just telling everyone I'm lazy and don't follow through on anything while simultaneously holding my department together with sheer will and a lot of overtime. I don't worry about these things because I know management knows who's really doing the work. The drivers know too, although I'm not sure they even know we have (another) new dispatcher yet lol.

Anyway. I did a huge project this morning in lieu of my language practice. Tomorrow is apparently national refrigerator clean out day, but since tomorrow is trash day in my town I did it this morning instead. So now I'll do my language study then relax until bedtime.