A feces IV drip. What a way to go.

Perks · Dec 4, 2014

So, a wife injects shit (no, literally, shit) into her husband's IV drip while he's in the hospital, recovering from heart surgery. He didn't die and, after she gets out of jail, the forgiving husband says they'll take marriage counseling.

Now this story does a few things to my writerbrain:

1) How angry do you need to be at your spouse to kill him with shit?

2) Literary/cinematic moment-to-ponder: the collection of the (attempted) murder weapon.

3) How do you ever stop being mortified (on discovery, on arrest, on arraignment, on sentencing, in the media) when the details of your grand plan are displayed for judgement.

4) Does that man really forgive her or is he just hatching an equally diabolically creative and unsanitary plot to win this game of I-can-be-grosser-than-you ?

My favorite line from the whole article?

Vogel was not trying to kill her husband but instead sought to take charge of the relationship, Prosecutor Blaine Gadow said.

Vince524 · Dec 4, 2014

2 thoughts.

Husband to wife. "I'm not taking any more shit from you!"
Wife response. "We'll see about that!"

2nd thought.

EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW!EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW!

cray · Dec 4, 2014

this is very creative.

Rufus Coppertop · Dec 4, 2014

Vince524 said:
Husband to wife. "I'm not taking any more shit from you!"
Wife response. "We'll see about that!"

Trophy for Vince. I'm just glad I didn't have a mouthful of tea when I read that post.

Zeddo · Dec 4, 2014

Hmm...a plot for a novel--maybe about a serial killer who... Don't want to think about the cover, though.

Maryn · Dec 4, 2014

Clearly this woman did not do her research. Wouldn't the man be on antibiotics already? Should have used antifreeze, which is classic for a reason.

Maryn, shaking her head

milkweed · Dec 4, 2014

Vince524 said:
2 thoughts.

Husband to wife. "I'm not taking any more shit from you!"
Wife response. "We'll see about that!"

Imbroglio · Dec 4, 2014

Well this is certainly difficult to stomach. Why is she being treated with so much leniency? I find the excuse of "intending to take charge" very difficult to believe.

Vince524 · Dec 4, 2014

The upside for him is that from now on, if she calls him a shit for brains, he can say, "Well, whose fault is that?"

Locke · Dec 4, 2014

Vince524 said:
Husband to wife. "I'm not taking any more shit from you!"
Wife response. "We'll see about that!"

</thread>

Celia Cyanide · Dec 4, 2014

She says she didn't want to kill him, only to take charge of the relationship. She also says she has no memory of it. How can have no memory of the act, but claim to know her motivation for it?

Vince524 · Dec 4, 2014

Celia Cyanide said:
She says she didn't want to kill him, only to take charge of the relationship. She also says she has no memory of it. How can have no memory of the act, but claim to know her motivation for it?

In my expert opinion, she's full of shit.

Maybe not as much as her hubby, but...

Roxxsmom · Dec 4, 2014

Perks said:
2) Literary/cinematic moment-to-ponder: the collection of the (attempted) murder weapon.
?

I can't help thinking of the "choking on someone else's vomit line" from the Spinal Tap movie.

Can you dust for shit? Why yes, yes you can. Vomit too, as it turns out. These forensics technicians must have a great job.

http://www.exploreforensics.co.uk/bodily-fluids-in-forensic-science.html

BenPanced · Dec 4, 2014

JUDGE: "How do you plead?"

VOGEL: "Not guilty. You ain't got shit on me."

J.S.F. · Dec 4, 2014

Maybe he ate shit and liked it?

Nah...

Okay, it answers the question of "Why are your eyes brown?"

Okay, no it doesn't.

How about, "You're the shit, man!"

Whatever, I bow to Vince's shitty superiority...

Anyhow, gang, how is it that the wife could actually be let off so leniently? Mind=blown...

Dreity · Dec 4, 2014

You know, what this women did was a unique kind of evil, but at the same time I can't help but feel a twinge of sympathy.

She said she was depressed, and wanted to "take charge" of the relationship. The article states "the couple" plans to attend counseling, but I'm wondering who did the bulk of the decision-making there.

I realize it's a mug shot, but she looks pretty darn defeated too. I also realize I'm probably reading way too much into a short article when I say her quoted words sounds pretty hollow.

But, god. The method just seems so symbolic of something. Like she wanted to be found out, and was completely fine with life in prison as a result, but instead she gets a single year and in the end, she's still stuck with the guy.

Sounds like the relationship was pretty shitty before actual shit got involved. (I mean, obviously, but I'm imagining the day-to-day dynamics and it's not a pleasant picture.) I should stop making up stories about real people I don't know. :tongue

benbradley · Dec 4, 2014

Maryn said:
Clearly this woman did not do her research. Wouldn't the man be on antibiotics already? Should have used antifreeze, which is classic for a reason.

Maryn, shaking her head

I was just thinking of that, and I remember several times over the years when this woman was in the news - she was arrested after her SECOND murder using antifreeze:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynn_Turner_(murderer)
http://jacksonville.com/news/georgi...usband-boyfriend-antifreeze-committed-suicide

Ben, trying hard not to many any more puns on four-letter words.

AncientEagle · Dec 4, 2014

Vince524 said:
In my expert opinion, she's full of shit.

Maybe not as much as her hubby, but...

Vince, you're really full of them tonight. Or something.

Vince524 · Dec 5, 2014

AncientEagle said:
Vince, you're really full of them tonight. Or something.

Don't blame me, blame my wife!

J.S.F. · Dec 5, 2014

Vince524 said:
Don't blame me, blame my wife!

---

For your sake, Vince, I hope you have a good thing going on with your wife and that she isn't a nurse.

shakeysix · Dec 5, 2014

Not evil, passive aggressive--she was tired of taking his shit so she plotted to give him some shit of her own but without confrontation. When it comes to PA types I know my shit--s6

A feces IV drip. What a way to go.

delicate #!&@*#! flower

Are you gonna finish that bacon?

Superior Life form

Talk to the hat

At Sea

Abuses commas at will.

PERPETUAL EXISTENTIAL CRISIS VICTIM

Are you gonna finish that bacon?

Lost the instruction manual

Joker Groupie

Are you gonna finish that bacon?

Beastly Fido

THE BLUEBERRY QUEEN OF HADES (he/him)

Red fish, blue fish...

It's a doggy dog world

Old kid, no need to be gentle.

Are you gonna finish that bacon?

Red fish, blue fish...

blue eyed floozy