Quote Originally Posted by hereticdoll View Post
Scott sat in the dining room he hated, rubbing his heavy eyes and tapping a pencil on his notepad, Why am I so tired? There was a novelty cat mug placed beside him, and he took up the obnoxious ceramic. He pressed the rim to his lips to sip his coffee, and winced at the smell of cough syrup that plagued it, That's right, my wife is trying to kill me.
This mostly works, but yeah, it should be five sentences. I would remove 'heavy' and move 'obnoxious' to where 'novelty' is. Too many adjectives in too few sentences just really grates on me. Also maybe remove 'to sip his coffee,' since that can be inferred just from the fact that he's putting the thing to his mouth. I'd say it's best to make the reader do as much of the work as possible when it comes to visualizing the scene, giving just enough description to make it accurate.