Your poetry process - the making of a poem - Discussion

Steppe

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Here is my first version and title I wrote some years ago and sent to my "needs work" folder.

Above Beats The Wind

wind
moaning wind
over the roof roams
lonely
sounds
you may not know
till
you are old
listening through many years
to creaking walls

the singing of wind
is lost memories -
rattle of cans in the yard
whistles in an empty bottle

Here is version two I took out a few months ago, rewrote, and gave a new title.

It's Here In The Wind

wind
cattle-straw wind
roams
over
the roof
sound of bells -
lonely

it rattles cans
in the yard
whistles
through empty bottles
moans
at the corners
of an old house

as you grow older
a pensive voice
seems to say -

it's here in the wind


I'm forever doing this with my poems. "Never finished, just abandoned".

I fiddle incessantly with articles (should it be a or the or none?). I wonder if I can find a better image, metaphor, or do without? Can I find a near rhyme to fit better than an end rhyme?

Have I progressed to another level and can I write the poem better now? There is something to be said for leaving them alone, but I think that's only for those skilled enough and confident enough to do it. For those who are fiddlers at heart, there's always the "needs work" folder.
 
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Debbie V

Mentoring Myself and Others
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I'm a prose writer more than a poet. But poetry comes unbidden on occasion. It will start with an image or an emotional moment. Often I find myself singing, sometimes only in my head. If the words that come with the melody strike me as good, I'll take note and go back trying to remember what I'd just thought and add to it. Sometimes this works, sometimes what follows adds little and goes no where. When the opportunity comes, I write it down, editing as I go. Then I may polish or type up. I wait until I have some use for the piece (a market in mind) and post for critique. I'm not good at marketing my poetry. I hope to do more of that once I have an agent for the work for children. I do get the poetry for children out though because I know those markets better - but those are only a few of my pieces.