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Thread: The Compleat 'Thorn Forest' (A Gift for AW)

  1. #26
    Hand? What hand? AW Moderator Ol' Fashioned Girl's Avatar
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    If by some chance (highly unlikely, methinks) this would need to be moved to another area of AW, it would most assuredly be welcome in any of the forums which I mod.

    Can't tell you how much I admire your work, William, without getting all teary-eyed and making you blush.
    aka: OFG








  2. #27
    practical experience, FTW Gretad08's Avatar
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    This is one of the most intriguing poems I've ever read. Please tell me there's more coming? I want to know what happens to Jacob. Tragic, and beautiful.

  3. #28
    part 10 added
    _____________________________

    Thorn Forest: A Gift for AW

    My poems on Twitter. Please proceed in an orderly fashion.





  4. #29
    is this how it ends? SuperModerator poetinahat's Avatar
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    One of the most striking attributes of poetry, to me, is the use of ordinary words to extraordinary effect.

    long-dead and looming


    is a prime example. The economy enriches the image: saying more would mean less.

  5. #30
    I have plans... C.bronco's Avatar
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    Though it is too hard, emotionally, to read, it is very hard to stop reading.



    "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams." Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

  6. #31
    practical experience, FTW B.D. Eyeslie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stew21 View Post
    This is incredible work. Not only emotionally touching, but crisp, real, captivating, and suspenseful. And still that says nothing of the precision of the words, the crafting of them. The form and the function hand in hand is something i always associate with your poetry. This work showcases that beautifully. I am so pleased you are sharing it with us.

    You are a real treasure, William; we are so lucky to have you here with us.

    Thanks for this.
    I agree 100%
    Thank you William.

  7. #32
    delicate #!&@*#! flower Perks's Avatar
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    Part ten is a lesson in conjuring dread.

  8. #33
    Benefactor Member Cranky's Avatar
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    I'd very much like a physical copy of this when it's complete. *hinthint* A little chapbook, or something. I'd even pay cash money!
    W.S.F.A. today! (Write Something F***ing Awesome)

    An exceptional poem that you really should read, by AW's own William Haskins:


    Thorn Forest: A Poem In Progress

  9. #34
    give it to me straight Brandt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poetinahat View Post
    One of the most striking attributes of poetry, to me, is the use of ordinary words to extraordinary effect.

    long-dead and looming


    is a prime example. The economy enriches the image: saying more would mean less.
    Totally agree Rob. And would add that this is what I find so masterful, compelling, and constant in William's work. His 'voice' is utterly captivating... and the story as well.

    Thank you William for this. I don't know how you keep living up to the last segment, except that 'marvelous' is simply normal in your world.

  10. #35
    part 11 added.

    again, many thanks for reading.
    _____________________________

    Thorn Forest: A Gift for AW

    My poems on Twitter. Please proceed in an orderly fashion.





  11. #36
    Grand Duchess Ambrosia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    I'd very much like a physical copy of this when it's complete. *hinthint* A little chapbook, or something. I'd even pay cash money!
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^This, William. I imagine that Cranky and I are not the only ones who would like a physical copy when it is completed.

    Most excellent work.
    ..
    "The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark."
    Michelangelo

    "You don't need thick skin, you just need perseverance." leifwright


    ...

  12. #37
    parts 12 and 13 added.
    _____________________________

    Thorn Forest: A Gift for AW

    My poems on Twitter. Please proceed in an orderly fashion.





  13. #38
    Super Moderator SuperModerator Stew21's Avatar
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    Really fantastic. The story is unfolding at a nice pace. Your readers are invested in Jacob's story, and you are not disappointing us. This is excellent.
    Sometimes I actually write stuff
    Like this...
    If a tree falls in Hesperides

  14. #39
    pacing is definitely a concern with this approach. thank you for the kind words, and i really appreciate the reads.
    _____________________________

    Thorn Forest: A Gift for AW

    My poems on Twitter. Please proceed in an orderly fashion.





  15. #40
    not afraid to leap zarada's Avatar
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    what Stew said. give us more.




  16. #41
    Mentoring Myself and Others Debbie V's Avatar
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    I'm very worried for the futures of Jacob and Anna. I fear a tragic end. Poor souls. Don't tell me what happens next though. All in good time.

  17. #42
    practical experience, FTW Gretad08's Avatar
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    Part XII has a beautiful cadence. I really love that section. There's a tremendous amount of suspense that's building nicely there. For me anyway. Take my opinion with a grain of salt. I'm not a poet, nor do I know how to properly critique a poem.

  18. #43
    give it to me straight Brandt's Avatar
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    Still spellbound William. I keep thinking, "I'm watching a masterpiece created before my very eyes."

  19. #44
    carpe noctem Sarita's Avatar
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    William, these verses are sublime. I feel invested in Jacob's life and want to know more about where Anna came from. I believe I said it up thread, but this feels very much like a novel sized story that you've distilled into poetry. Perfectly succinct, each word molded to the story. Very characteristic of you, yet so very fresh. Even the breaks, conjunctions, and prepositions feel heavy with the weight of meaning.
    Last edited by Sarita; 07-21-2014 at 08:01 PM.


    ~Sara

    "There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees." ~ Hugo

  20. #45
    This is the first modern poem that's ever grabbed or moved me with its craft as well as with its subject matter. The combination of blank verse (is that the correct term?) with rhyme gives it a structure that reminds me of music. It has pregnancy.

  21. #46
    delicate #!&@*#! flower Perks's Avatar
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    Am caught up now.

    Also strangled with the weight of the wait for the next one.

  22. #47
    Last edited by William Haskins; 07-24-2014 at 05:53 AM.
    _____________________________

    Thorn Forest: A Gift for AW

    My poems on Twitter. Please proceed in an orderly fashion.





  23. #48
    i just want to say once again how much i appreciate, and am humbled by, the kind words and encouragement here.

    thank you all for continuing to read.
    _____________________________

    Thorn Forest: A Gift for AW

    My poems on Twitter. Please proceed in an orderly fashion.





  24. #49
    _____________________________

    Thorn Forest: A Gift for AW

    My poems on Twitter. Please proceed in an orderly fashion.





  25. #50
    Super Moderator SuperModerator Stew21's Avatar
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    These last two additions really propel the story. The urgency of that last one carries a lot of weight. Each word in that short poem does a job, and does so well. And I just knew the rhyme would be there -anticipated it - was not disappointed. Your delivery wins the day, right there.
    Sometimes I actually write stuff
    Like this...
    If a tree falls in Hesperides

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