Krampus collecting children

AW Amazon Store

If this site is helpful to you,
Please consider a voluntary subscription to defray ongoing expenses.


 

Welcome to the AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler! Please read The Newbie Guide To Absolute Write

Page 1 of 9 1234567 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 208

Thread: Internet Grammar Hall of Shame

  1. #1
    Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint Matera the Mad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Wisconsin's (sore) thumb
    Posts
    13,689

    Internet Grammar Hall of Shame

    Ever read a sentence so badly constructed that it makes you want to wash your eyes out with soap? See word usage so stupid that you lose your faith in humanity for the rest of the day?

    Well, there's not much we can do about it, but we can blow off a few puffs of steam.

    This is a thread for posting hideous things found on websites. Paste your dreadful examples so we can all have a bitter laugh at the expense of (anonymous) bloggers and journalists. Let's see who can find the Worst of the Web!


    Please don't post links or name the site or the person responsible for the blooper.


    Here's a good example of a bad example:

    "...more people are killed every year sitting on the beach by falling coconuts than those by sharks..."

    Inspiration can be as destructive as any other form of fire.

  2. #2
    Why do I say these things? iLion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvsQ9hYKq7c
    Posts
    7,496
    Here's one I found mentioned elsewhere:

    “The soldier was discovered with a ballistically-induced aperture in the subcutaneous environment. He had experienced a terminal episode.”



  3. #3
    I aim to misbehave Myrealana's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Denver, CO
    Posts
    5,267
    Not on the internet, but for a data glossary I'm developing for work:

    "Gross amount of calculated gross distribution calculated from FEE_DSTR_AMT gross volume."

    So, it's gross, and calculated. Anything else I should know?
    -- Myrea
    "When it comes down to it it’s always, always you and the white page. At the end of the day if the page is blank, it’s won. Don’t let the page win."
    Alasdair Stewart

  4. #4
    Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint Matera the Mad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Wisconsin's (sore) thumb
    Posts
    13,689
    This one is awesome:
    "...25 thick mm of solid wood..."

    There are thick and thin millimeters?
    Inspiration can be as destructive as any other form of fire.

  5. #5
    Planning a return trip to earth. Physsica's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Enceladus
    Posts
    275
    One from the news today... The car killed [her] dead
    Last edited by Physsica; 04-12-2014 at 06:54 PM.
    "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

  6. #6
    practical experience, FTW Maxx B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    England
    Posts
    519
    Found this comment on a YouTube video.

    'make a video on the fact where overpopulated, if we cure cancer we will be way to overpopulated wich could destroy the world.'
    .
    Looking for critique on my revised first chapter. It's a mystery / thriller kinda thing.
    -------------
    WIP - My novel NINE, just passed the first milestone 10,000 words. . . .

  7. #7
    Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint Matera the Mad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Wisconsin's (sore) thumb
    Posts
    13,689
    "...can be assumed to have experienced childhood sexual abuse by a psychiatrist they’ve never met."

    Uhhh....yeah.
    Inspiration can be as destructive as any other form of fire.

  8. #8
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Between the lines
    Posts
    37,911
    "For his book,...interviewed dozens of...acquaintances and poured over thousands of...documents."

    What did he pour over them--coffee or daiquiris?


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  9. #9
    Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint Matera the Mad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Wisconsin's (sore) thumb
    Posts
    13,689
    The best sense is made by correct usage. A misplaced adjective modifies the wrong word. THAT is why it is wrong, and doesn't work outside of a slipshod conversational context. Like in writing....
    Inspiration can be as destructive as any other form of fire.

  10. #10
    New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    11
    What bugs me is the number of times I see the wrong version of a word, like "there" instead of "their", as in "I liked there dance routine."

    I'm not sure if it's a sloppy mistake or if most people really don't know how to spell anymore.
    It makes me wonder what kids are learning these days in school?

  11. #11
    Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint Matera the Mad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Wisconsin's (sore) thumb
    Posts
    13,689
    Quote Originally Posted by jaus tail View Post
    Merciless jaws...adjective is used for the animal that controls those jaws. Jaws can be strong or fragile.
    There goes the whole shebang. No more fierce winds, biting cold, soaring arches (I mean architectural components, not my feets), or unwelcoming furniture. Goodbye, colorful world.

    No, a real boner would be something like "Snapping its jaws shut, the goat escaped the crocodile's merciless teeth with a desperate leap."

    Anyway, the quibble stumbles because animals are no more merciless than their body parts. Mercy is a moral quality, and we humans invented morality. We also project it onto everything. You are wrongly accusing an innocent word of modifying the wrong noun, when the poor word has nothing but good intentions and is only following orders.


    Misplaced modifiers
    are merciless destroyers of sense.
    Inspiration can be as destructive as any other form of fire.

  12. #12
    No one takes me seriously. Really. jerrimander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    The Shallow South
    Posts
    601
    this looked like fun until I saw the splainin. i'll keep an eye on it though.
    WIP: The Roadie Not Taken 9k screenplay ???
    WIP: Big Bad Wolf 37k paranormal romance in desperate need of new title
    WIP: Little Sister 30k chick lit
    WIP: His Other Half 97k chick lit
    WIP: Radio Ga Ga 24k sci fi
    WIP: Harry, The Tree Climbing Tortoise 1.4k kid lit
    "Rude, and not ginger."

    Huzzah! I'm an instigator!
    My blog, dated but still entertaining:
    http://jerrimander.wordpress.com

  13. #13
    No one takes me seriously. Really. jerrimander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    The Shallow South
    Posts
    601
    seen in a weekend ad:

    THOUGH EVERY PRECAUTION IS TAKEN, ERROR IN PRICES AND/OR SPEC MAKE OCCUR.

    good to see you guys on top of things, proofing department.
    WIP: The Roadie Not Taken 9k screenplay ???
    WIP: Big Bad Wolf 37k paranormal romance in desperate need of new title
    WIP: Little Sister 30k chick lit
    WIP: His Other Half 97k chick lit
    WIP: Radio Ga Ga 24k sci fi
    WIP: Harry, The Tree Climbing Tortoise 1.4k kid lit
    "Rude, and not ginger."

    Huzzah! I'm an instigator!
    My blog, dated but still entertaining:
    http://jerrimander.wordpress.com

  14. #14
    Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint Matera the Mad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Wisconsin's (sore) thumb
    Posts
    13,689
    "But the dye was cast."

    Really, how colorful -- but messy!
    Inspiration can be as destructive as any other form of fire.

  15. #15
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Between the lines
    Posts
    37,911
    "My finance and I would both like to know if and when my body hair will ever stop spreading."

    I have seen "finance"--when fiancé or fiancée is intended--more times than I can count. Has the anticipation of marriage become inextricably connected to money?
    Last edited by Nymtoc; 07-05-2014 at 02:03 AM.


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  16. #16
    Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint Matera the Mad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Wisconsin's (sore) thumb
    Posts
    13,689
    Found in the source code of a web page:

    "videos that the users has watched before"

    But then, you wouldn't want to see some of the comments I've hidden in HTML.
    Inspiration can be as destructive as any other form of fire.

  17. #17
    Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint Matera the Mad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Wisconsin's (sore) thumb
    Posts
    13,689
    LOL

    "I lied in bed, struggling against sleep..."
    Inspiration can be as destructive as any other form of fire.

  18. #18
    Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint Matera the Mad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Wisconsin's (sore) thumb
    Posts
    13,689
    We are not alone.
    Word Nerds in Good Company
    Inspiration can be as destructive as any other form of fire.

  19. #19
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Between the lines
    Posts
    37,911
    "It seams as though Palin is just more audacious than the rest of her Republican brethren."

    Hmm. Is she stitching seams in a patriotic new American flag, or could she be doing something seamy, or...


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  20. #20
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Vancouver
    Posts
    16,330
    There's a fairly large agency that used to call themselves the "premiere" agency (for their specialist field).

    I pointed out the error in my query letter.

    My query was rejected, but the error was later fixed.

  21. #21
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Vancouver
    Posts
    16,330
    A lot of URLs have grammar problems as well due to the lack of spaces.

    Take penisland.com for instance. It's not pornographic, or even urological, it's the website for a stationary store.

    therapistfinder.com is another good one. That's where you go to find psychological help.

  22. #22
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Vancouver
    Posts
    16,330
    "the only visible change is a clear, opaque liquid"

    So... which is it?

  23. #23
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Between the lines
    Posts
    37,911
    "As a child, she studied acting in Phoenix and was known for her scene-stealing comedy antics even at that early age. At age 15, the family relocated to Monrovia, California...."

    There's nothing quite so nice as a 15-year-old family.


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  24. #24
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Between the lines
    Posts
    37,911
    "There first film, The Lady in Question had them as featured players."

    They're they go again. That kind of error is always cropping up on the Internet, here or their.
    Last edited by Nymtoc; 07-31-2014 at 11:54 AM.


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  25. #25
    Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint Matera the Mad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Wisconsin's (sore) thumb
    Posts
    13,689
    "No Ask Charter questions could not be processed" (Very recent news story about today's Charter outage LOL)
    Inspiration can be as destructive as any other form of fire.

Page 1 of 9 1234567 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Custom Search