AW's Super-Dooper Newbie Pub Where Newbies Can Chat With Golden Oldies

pkbax said:

Hmmm. . . Pub sure has been quiet.

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Did that help?

hey ducky xD

Whoa. How is the pub so dead? Folks have obviously missed me.

*dusts cobwebs*
*runs a load of glasses through the dishwasher*
*tosses bar towels in the washer*
*avoids gaping hole still in front of bathroom*
*scrapes gum off bottom of tables and mops up a sticky mess near table #5 (always near table #5)*
*sprinkles glitter over damp floor*
*tosses bar towels in dryer*
*sneaks out employee exit*

Perhaps you need to re-think the saloon bar style swing doors. I suspect they are letting out too much riff-raff. Perhaps, recruit a doorman with a list who says "Your names not on the list, you're not getting out!"

Anyway, you don't want it too noisy when you're downing your first Sunday morning 'hair of the dog'. At such times I prefer the Vodka Cadavers to not twitch too much either, they might jog my elbow!

Nevertheless, some pork scratchings would set me up just about perfect right now. Any chance of a packet?

Charles Gull said:

Perhaps you need to re-think the saloon bar style swing doors. I suspect they are letting out too much riff-raff. Perhaps, recruit a doorman with a list who says "Your names not on the list, you're not getting out!"

Anyway, you don't want it too noisy when you're downing your first Sunday morning 'hair of the dog'. At such times I prefer the Vodka Cadavers to not twitch too much either, they might jog my elbow!

Nevertheless, some pork scratchings would set me up just about perfect right now. Any chance of a packet?

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Absolutely -- and welcome to the pub, Charles

* Slides a large pack of pork scratchings down the suspiciously clean bar *

I've been madly busy. Things are just starting to slow down a little.

So, did I miss... Holy h*ck, there's glitter everywhere!

Hello AW. This is my first post, but I've been kinda hanging around for a bit now. Community looks really active and fun. Time to sweep up all the glitter.

welcome to the Water Cooler! I'm chrii ^^

tiggs said:

Absolutely -- and welcome to the pub, Charles

* Slides a large pack of pork scratchings down the suspiciously clean bar *

I've been madly busy. Things are just starting to slow down a little.

So, did I miss... Holy h*ck, there's glitter everywhere!

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That happens when Ona or Winks are around.

DevinBM said:

Hello AW. This is my first post, but I've been kinda hanging around for a bit now. Community looks really active and fun. Time to sweep up all the glitter.

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Oooh. Risky. At least it was Ona, though. If you disturb Winks' glitter piles she'll sick her plot bunnies on you.

Okay. Pain meds are not working for the abscessed tooth. I need something stronger.

*Throws door open, stumbles into the pub. Eyes are wide, hair is dissheveled, face is slack-jawed.*


Uuuuh-eee-uuuuhhh-weeeeeee...


*Stumbles and slams into the wall, appears to have no functioning motor skills. Manages to stand back up, still unsteady.*


Uuuhhhhh-eeee-eeeeeeeeeeeee...


*Stumbles forward a few more steps, and falls against the bar head first. Grunts, flops himself onto the ground, and begins dragging himself along the floor.*


Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....


*An arm reaches up from behind the bar, grasps a nearby pot of tea, and pulls it down. Loud slurping noises are heard.*


*Pops up from behind bar a few seconds later, looking much steadier.*


Whew! That hit the spot. Sorry if I caused a scare.


*Puts the uncovered teapot to his lips and takes another long sip right from the pot.*


*Gasps for breath.* Oh man. *Wipes mouth with sleeve.* Every sip gets better.


*Takes another drink.*


Anyway, in case you were curious what that was all about: I was on Kepler-62f for some regenerative cell therapy, and I contracted the Keplerian equivalent of the common cold. Not deadly, but it does a number on a human's nervous system. Makes the impluses go haywire, and motor skills go bye-bye. Taking in tannins helps out tremendously.


*Chugs more tea.*


Anyway, the Ol' Pub looks good. A little more cobwebby than last time I was here, but hasn't changed too much. It's been a while. How are you all doing?

Hi Kuranes. Been a while. Nice to see you.

*Turns up drip on Bailey's IV
I'll be fine once this takes affect

pkbax said:

Hi Kuranes. Been a while. Nice to see you.

*Turns up drip on Bailey's IV
I'll be fine once this takes affect

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Hiya pk!

Sounds like things are a little rough at the moment. Sorry to hear.

I might have a solution that will help you. But first I have to ask: do you have any objection to being injected with nanomachines?

Hey, you guys, it's been a good, long while, but I thought I'd look in and see how everyone is doing.

Oh, noooo. A man has a cold? Poor thing!

*Brews up extra-strong pot of tea*
*Pours in some Lysol*
*Adds five shots of Nyquil*
*Sprinkles in some extra glitter for later*

*Muwahaha...haha...ahem*

*Glares at the skull and crossbones wafting out of the brew*
*Nods when it morphs into a harmless squirrel*
*Tong-slides it down the bar to the correct patron*

*Walks in, folded newspaper in one hand, travel mug in other.*


Mornin'


*Sits at bar and opens newspaper. Hears a rumbling noise, and looks over to see a teapot sliding along the bar.*


Hmmm.....


*Teapot slides to a stop directly in front of him. Steam gently wafts out of the spout. The aroma of heavily steeped tea fills the air.*


For me? What a thoughtful gesture!


*Pours a cup of tea. Raises the cup to his lips, then there's a sound of broken glass from a nearby window and then a high pitched zzzzzzzzzzzzzzip noise, and the teacup explodes in his hand. A second zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzip noise, and the teapot in front of him explodes in a shower of hot tea.*


*Slightly shocked, covered in hot tea, still holding a broken fragment of the teacup handle in his hand.* What in the......


*The zzzzzzzzzzip turns to a faint whirrrrrr noise as a tiny metal ball floats to the bar and lands next to the broken remnants of the teapot. The ball begins to glow bright purple.*


*Eyes widen in realization.* The Glitterati.....so they've decided to try and finish the job.


*Stands up, wipes the glittery tea from his face. Picks up the metal ball off the bar and puts it in his pocket. Grabs two pieces of paper, scribbles something on each page. Places one piece on Tiddlywinks' trapdoor, the second on Ona's table. The note reads...*

It's on. -K

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Dropped in to say hi to some golden oldies and to empty out the secret stash and the secret, secret stash.

Welcome to all the newbies. You're going to love it here.



*disappears into the night*

Hey,

A drink would sure would go down well today! The dust from my travels has parched me.

I'm Bryan, and am brand new to these parts. So wanted to say hey!

Hi everyone,

My journey through the internet had led me to this haven for writers. I've been bruised and bloodied by many forums in the past. However, I will not give up on my quest in finding a guide that would genuinely provide constructive criticism on my writing. For any oldies sitting in the darkened corner who are eyeing fresh new clay to mold and shape; please rise up and shout "Aye" if you are interested to this traveler's request.

Loving the community so far.

Thanks in advance.

Kuranes said:

Hiya pk!

Sounds like things are a little rough at the moment. Sorry to hear.

I might have a solution that will help you. But first I have to ask: do you have any objection to being injected with nanomachines?

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Uhm. . . yes I do object. Thanks anyway. Besides, now that the abscessed tooth is out, healing will occur. I just need to dull the pain a little while longer.

night-flyer said:

Dropped in to say hi to some golden oldies and to empty out the secret stash and the secret, secret stash.

Welcome to all the newbies. You're going to love it here.



*disappears into the night*

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I missed NF.

BryanT said:

Hey,

A drink would sure would go down well today! The dust from my travels has parched me.

I'm Bryan, and am brand new to these parts. So wanted to say hey!

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Hi, Bryan. Whatcha drinking? We have just about everything.
Welcome to AW and the pub, BTW.

HeicMio said:

Hi everyone,

My journey through the internet had led me to this haven for writers. I've been bruised and bloodied by many forums in the past. However, I will not give up on my quest in finding a guide that would genuinely provide constructive criticism on my writing. For any oldies sitting in the darkened corner who are eyeing fresh new clay to mold and shape; please rise up and shout "Aye" if you are interested to this traveler's request.

Loving the community so far.

Thanks in advance.

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Welcome to the Pub and to AW!

This is a great community. My suggestion regarding critiques is that you spend a little time in the Share Your Work forums. Poke around, especially in your genre, read the crits already posted, etc. Seeing what they look for can help you look at your own work and fix some things before you put your own out there. Also, post comments of your own there as well as in social threads (like this one) so folks can get to know you. You're more likely to get crits back if you reach out to others. My other suggestion is thick skin and remember it isn't personal. (We all have to remember that.) If you feel like you are "too new" to critique, remember that a reader perspective is helpful, too.

Introducing

KB,
protagonist of Franz Kafka's three unfinished novels,
the Castle in Franz, owned by my mom's side of the family,
Amerika, my place of birth,
and the Trial
that concluded when I did time for a DUI.

K is the half of the novels, the completed side of the album is Side B.
John Updike introduced Franz Kafka's short stories as John the Baptist foreshadowed Jesus Christ,
I'm KB Updike Jr.

1:76. 4 6 3 8 A B K 2 4 A L G M O R 3 Y X 24 89 R P S T O V A L. What meaneth this, o prophet? Thou knowest not; nor shalt thou know ever. There cometh one to follow thee: he shall expound it. But remember, o chosen one, to be me; to follow the love of Nu in the star-lit heaven; to look forth upon men, to tell them this glad word.

My telephone numbers can be extracted from this code,
counting back from the fourth number, 836 - 8 from 2 (fours, that surround the first 8 counted or by multiplying the 2 & 4 to the right of the 8), the first 4 because the first number 1 to get to 5 by adding first plus four.
My cell # is 836-8215
From only the first four numbers, my home phone # results if taken into account four is a number away from 5, six a # away from 5, 6 flipped a 9, 4 as the first number equates to 4 1, 8 next to 6 + 3 = 89. My home phone number is 559-4189
The last four numbers, 24, 89, work if two 4s are a number away from 5 twice, five five 9, the last number, four one of them if four to extract, 89 completes the telephone number.

78. Lift up thyself! for there is none like unto thee among men or among Gods! Lift up thyself, o my prophet, thy stature shall surpass the stars. They shall worship thy name, foursquare, mystic, wonderful, the number of the man; and the name of thy house 418.

The number of the man, and name of house symbolizes the telephone number. 559-(418)9.

ABKALGMOR3YXRPSTOVAL is all that is left,
rearranged,
*KaB Lam, Go, R Y X 3, RP St ov al.
KB Lamb, Go, Are Why Hit 3 strikes, Role Play St of all.

*KaB, Glamor Y X R3post, Va l.
intricate telepathic mind control illusions X all attempts to remove this rewrite, I a Virginian won.
I didn't try to plug my book in the old post yet couldn't help mention or the poetry of this line of Liber Al vel Legis doesn't make as much sense to me.

*Bak 3 Glamor rps to l Va, Y X.
Bacchus has three strikes as glamour in role playing to one Va, as to why to X the mirage in the way of margin.

*O l Va RP St, Lam R KaB, Go (free), & X 3 Y.
All of these are a free form role player's poetic inferences, infinite permutations are available if storylines are plugged into the code rearrangement.

*RPs to Val
VAL = Variable Assembly Language
for use with artificial intelligences. The artificial intelligences are robots infinite in # in a fantasy role playing time travel storyline.
Valhalla, as opened by a low key, a role playing underground founded thru forum posting.

My Genesis, a serpent in Chapter 3 offers two verses of knowledge as wisdom of good and evil in verse 6, in reference to 3&6, 666. The serpent is crafty and low on his belly, like Loki. Revelation 13, last verse, Wisdom and Understanding, within Kaballah blocked by the Abyss of Knowledge, are necessary to overcome 666. The ability to discern that which is new, not put off by pride's predispositions.

In my Genesis Chapter 4,
Tubal-cain's fall begets,
"If Cain 7, Lamech 77."
I have always been called KB, and hail from Va Mech,
the spelling of Lamech if the L turned left, M capitalized.
Also spells
*La Mech - the prophecied source of tantric enlightenment.
*Lam ick (pronounced) becomes Lam, E. C., I, i capitalized and turned into an H spun onto its side to make an I.
The Lamb of God has 7 horns of war, 7 eyes of clear vision, 7 spirits of God. If the bottom of two sevens is connected to the top left of two sevens, three sevens become
a serpent of the lightning of Zeus,
as the foreshadowed stave of Moses in the Exodus. In Book 2 of Moses, the Exodus,
rearranged to spell
*2Eus do X - two Zeus do hit,
Moses's staff devours lower ranking serpent of Pharaoh, Moses goes on to crack the Ten Commandments,
transitioning the 777 as lightning in the cracks in the stone over to the
stone in Mecca,
*Lamech = C Mecha, L turned right, a thrown forward.
Kaaba in Mecca, KB in Maker, as Al lay.
The cracking of the Ten Commandments foreshadows the authorship of Crowley's Book of the Law,
starring Egyptian Set:

1:9. Worship then the Khabs, and behold my light shed over you!

3:74. There is a splendour in my name hidden and glorious, as the sun of midnight is ever the son.

Worship then the KB has, the midnight sun as the son Tiphareth which justifies God, jihading under the horizon.

Unconditional love emanating in all directions radiates spiritual energy in the shape of the sun. In My Genesis on the fall of the Cain,
the Chapter ends, After Seth and Enosh began men to encounter God. After Set I, capital H turned onto its side, and an In O sh or silent (in reference to Low key @ war w/ the Thunder tricking honeir),
began men to encounter God.

After the sun set, so that all information energy and places has a mind and heart.

pkbax said:

Uhm. . . yes I do object. Thanks anyway. Besides, now that the abscessed tooth is out, healing will occur. I just need to dull the pain a little while longer.

Hi, Bryan. Whatcha drinking? We have just about everything.
Welcome to AW and the pub, BTW.

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Hmmm. I haven't really though that far ahead. If you have La Gran Theresa (A fantastic Venezuelan dark rum) and coke would be perfect! Short of that, any dark rum works well!

Sorry to hear about the abscessed tooth! Take care and I hope it heals quickly. I had one last year that the idiot doctor wound up creating a cu off abscess in my gum that cost me another tooth, and about a month on heavy duty antibiotics.

Bryan

Greetings from Denver. I am a Newbie and I began my journey through this site by immediately going to the wrong pub. I sat alone sipping a latte for a while, when I realized everyone was at the pub across the street marked "Stickys." So here I am. I'm dropping in to say "hello." I just found this site and it looks fabulous. I recently quit my attorney job to do what I've wanted to do my whole life: write a novel. I finished my book and just when I thought I could sit back, I've discovered I need to write query letters and research agents. There is so much more. I signed up for a writer's conference in NY in August. What dedication. Any snippets of advice for a weary first time novelist?

Over and out.

My head hurts now after reading K's post

Hey! Can I have a vodka soda?
Also my name's Nat

*walks into the pub wearing a black cloak and matching scarf. A few cobwebs hang from the back of the cloak and the leather boots are caked with a thick grey clay. Takes a seat at the bar*

*bartender walks up*

Evening mister. Been here before?

I'm a frayed knot.

Welcome to the pub. What will you have?

Two glasses of Amontillado.

*bartender takes a bottle from under the bar and fills two glasses then places them in front of the stranger*

*stranger slowly drinks one while staring at the second one*

*removes a clay caked trowel from under his cloak, cleans it with his cloak, and places it next to the full glass*

*finishes his drink, rises, and walks to the door*

Hey, mister! What about your second drink?

*turns to face the bartender*

It's for a friend.

And the trowel?

He's a mason.

What if he doesn't show.

You drink it then. To your good fortune.

*turns and walks out the door*

BryanT said:

Hmmm. I haven't really though that far ahead. If you have La Gran Theresa (A fantastic Venezuelan dark rum) and coke would be perfect! Short of that, any dark rum works well!

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Of course we have it. We have just about anything you can ask for. just make sure the owner doesn't get wind of the oj

BryanT said:

Sorry to hear about the abscessed tooth! Take care and I hope it heals quickly. I had one last year that the idiot doctor wound up creating a cu off abscess in my gum that cost me another tooth, and about a month on heavy duty antibiotics.

Bryan

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Ouch. That must have sucked. Mine appears to be healing fine so far. Thanks.

ErinGlover said:

Greetings from Denver. I am a Newbie and I began my journey through this site by immediately going to the wrong pub. I sat alone sipping a latte for a while, when I realized everyone was at the pub across the street marked "Stickys." So here I am. I'm dropping in to say "hello." I just found this site and it looks fabulous. I recently quit my attorney job to do what I've wanted to do my whole life: write a novel. I finished my book and just when I thought I could sit back, I've discovered I need to write query letters and research agents. There is so much more. I signed up for a writer's conference in NY in August. What dedication. Any snippets of advice for a weary first time novelist?

Over and out.

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Welcome!
Only advice I give is to just write (and develop thick skin).

Markiemoo said:

My head hurts now after reading K's post

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My head hurt just starting to read that so I quit before it got too bad.

PickleHeartsBooks said:

Hey! Can I have a vodka soda?
Also my name's Nat

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Hi Nat.
*slides over a vodka soda that will magically be fresh when Nat comes back

Afrayedknot said:

*removes a clay caked trowel from under his cloak, cleans it with his cloak, and places it next to the full glass*

*finishes his drink, rises, and walks to the door*

Hey, mister! What about your second drink?

*turns to face the bartender*

It's for a friend.

And the trowel?

He's a mason.

What if he doesn't show.

You drink it then. To your good fortune.

*turns and walks out the door*

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*leaves the drink for the trolls that visit from the sub-basement - let them take the risk