Hysterical Craigslist ad for a diamond engagement ring

Diamond Ring - $1800 (Pocono)

For sale I have a 1.5ct total weight engagement ring set in 14K white gold. The ring is in like new condition, only worn for a short period of time by Satan herself. Comes with the original box. Very pretty ring with a lower setting so the diamonds won't snag on everything. Diamonds along the sides and in the channel setting show off light from all sides. Originally purchased from Littman's for a sum of money far greater than I am comfortable admitting.

Warning: ring may be cursed as it tends to leave a path of destruction behind it. Possible events associated with this ring include but are not limited to: damage sustained to house, vehicle, heart, downed powerlines, fallen trees, and swarms of locus. I would highly recommend taking action to counter the whirlwind of bad mojo that surround this piece of jewelry. Should consider having curse removed by voodoo priest or something before presenting to loved one. Other than that a very nice piece of jewelry.

Looking to sell this soon before it brings any more bad luck into my life and I'd rather have cash. If not sold by Christmas I plan to throw it into the fires of Mordor.

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