It's probably not the best idea to post a first draft because the issues that will be picked up will be things that you'll likely notice yourself or completely change after a couple of rounds of editing, and the things you won't pick up without a second pair of eyes might not be there yet or might get lost in the noise.
There are a lot of little things that I could pick up in this but as it's a first draft I'm not sure how useful it would be to point it all out.
Overall, there's some poignancy in this but it's distant, like the reader's being held at arms length. Mostly that's probably because the man doesn't have a name and you've described in detail what he's doing but nothing about what he's feeling, beyond that moving is painful (which can be seen from the way he moves). Is he content to be watching TV alone in the dark? Is he lonely? Is he too drunk to notice? It reads more like the opening script/stage directions of a film. In films you have only two senses - sight and sound. In novels you have all the senses and you can get right inside characters' heads. This is why people still read novels even when they can go to the cinema and watch films in 3D. Failing to take advantage of this leads to novels that feel distant and remote.
If this scene is being viewed by another character who doesn't know the man's name, then introduce us to this character, how he or she's feeling, etc. If it's being viewed by an omniscent narrator then the narrator knows the man's name, how he's feeling, etc.
