Using too many 'I's?

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Bookworm45

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Writing in first person and I've told that I'm using too many 'I's... How can I avoid this? Especially with character actions.
 

Myrealana

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If your critique partners are telling you this, maybe they're talking about filtering.

Really rough example:
"I stood in the center of the room. I saw sweat bead up on Sam's forehead. I smelled the scent of gunpower from the gun I saw in his hand."

The reader already know who is seeing and smelling things. You don't have to beat them over the head with it. Just get to the point.

Change this to:
"I stood in the center of the room, looking at Sam. The sweat beaded on his forehead and the scent of gunpower from the freshly fired gun in his hand filled the room."

Like that - only better.
 

Kerosene

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Unless all your sentences start with "I" or everything is referencing back to the narrator with "I", don't worry about it.

Like Myrealana said, redundancies like filtering can sometimes cause this. Look for places where you could possibly cut out the narrator referencing themselves. But, make sure it's clear--overuse of "I" is nothing compared to a writer trying so desperately hard not to use it and causing grammar and usage problems.
 

Torgo

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Writing in first person and I've told that I'm using too many 'I's... How can I avoid this? Especially with character actions.

You're not getting very good feedback if you're just being told you use a word too often. Ask them why it's a problem, and you're getting somewhere.
 

Bufty

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Three rapid questions in a row. I applaud the enthusiasm, but spend time browsing this huge site and you will find many of your questions can be answered by observation and reading of existing threads.

There is a site specific Google Search facility below the Posting Rules box to the left at the bottom of these posts - type in any words or phrases related to the issue concerning you and you will get stacks of links to existing or older threads dealing with the topic you seek.

Good luck
 
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mamiller512

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Three rapid questions in a row. I applaud the enthusiasm, but spend time browsing this huge site and you will find many of your questions can be answered by observation and reading of existing threads.

There is a site specific Google Search facility below the Posting Rules box to the left at the bottom of these posts - type in any words or phrases related to the issue concerning you and you will get stacks of links to existing or older threads dealing with the topic you seek.

Good luck

Thank you for pointing this out! It was very helpful. :D
 

kkbe

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Good advice from Bufty. Just wanted to weigh in real quick about "I, I, I" in first person POV. . . I noticed Lee Child drops the word "I" when writing from Reacher's POV. Something like,

I took a step back. Aimed the Glock. Fired.
Easy in, easy out.

I totally made that up but hopefully, you know what I mean. :)
 
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Jamesaritchie

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Using I too often is distracting, and not necessary. Good first person reads very much like good third person. Most often, using an article, indefinite or definite, reduces the number of times you use I. A, an, and the are the first person writer's best friends.

Articles also prevent filtering, one of the most common mistakes new, or poor, first person writers make.
 
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