Rejecting myself

I don't know whether this is the right place for this thread but I thought I'd post it here. I think this is more about me rejecting myself.

I occassionally write for a website (for free) and the editor offered to 'pay' me in dvd's of her product. I said that I felt that I hadn't contributed enough to her site in order to 'deserve' this. The owner has always said that when the site went up and running that she would be able to give me something for my work. Jenna's book says 'bartering' can be good, so I feel that I've rejected some type of payment for my work.

What I meant by that is that I felt I didn't contribute on a regular enough basis to 'deserve' that. Not that I didn't deserve payment of some type.

Afterwards I had an epihany and realized that I'd just devalued my own work.

How do I stop myself from devaluing my work? I write for free for that site. I enjoy it and I've gotten some clips out of it, but by writing for free am I continuting to devalue my work?

My husband says I should set limits, let the editor know that I'll only contribute up to a certain point and then expect payment onwards. This is a site that deals with the subject I'm most familiar with and which I love to write about, and sometimes I feel that this will be the only opportunity I'll ever have to write about it.

What do I do?

Can someone please (nicely) knock some sense into me?

Greenwolf103 said:

My first instinct: Take your husband's advice. I'm sorry but I really think that, after a while, there just comes a point when you should receive some kind of compensation. The DVD thing is one I've never heard of, though.

If it turns out that you stand to lose your position with them, you'll probably find a paying position elsewhere.

What you decide, though, is really a personal choice. I mean, if you're not writing to earn a living or if you want to continue doing this as a "charity" thing, then by all means continue. Just do what you love and make sure you love doing it.

Click to expand...

Okay, I frequent a royal site which has linked to articles from the site I occassionally/rarely/intermittently write for free. I guess I'm a bit jealous of that (no one links to articles on MY site). Anyways, feeling hopeless, I emailed this morning offering another article to them, for free.

I don't know whether it's the jealously, the insecurity that I feel, but I guess I just want acceptance, some appreciation for my writing, and I'm obviously willing to devalue it to get it.

I haven't heard back as of yet, I don't really know what to expect. Maybe if she turns it down it might be a good thing? a reality check?

Can someone please (nicely) knock some sense into me? Give me a mantra, or something that I can print off to look at anytime I feel like 'giving away the store'?