This is the radio show that never ends. . .

It just goes on and on my friends
Some dj just started spinning
Not knowing what the audience wants
But that dj will continue spinning because. . .

This thread is for aesthetically challenged music. Whether it is cheese, schlock, schlager, minstrel show tunes, musicasters or outright corn, this thread will go on and on. Keep the tunes sequential and consequential, whether it be for inappropriateness' sake, or for humourous commentary. Don't just list tunes without putting a little thought behind it.

For starters, let's start with some quintessential cheese, a tune from 1960 for a Canadian steel town's radio channel.

Wonderful Hamilton by OC Guys and Gals

I'm tried again. Are my efforts just as disastrous?

Well, at least you didn't post this when you thought of cows (oh how bad taste that would be!):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uOwVg2B79E

I totally dig her ripping off kd lang on the refrain.

If we're going to go on a journey to Mars, how about we do it in an 07 Corolla? Finest ride in town, right homeboy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rk408qbT5Go

If anyone is wondering what schlager is, let us have the patience for a little lesson. Schlager is the root word of schlock, but the two words have parted ways somewhat. Schlager is terrible music but with a particular German nuance that can be found in music around the world. As German artists define it, it is music that with unabashed and honest fashion lifts content from music from the propaganda of a previous, detested regime. With Germany, we can leave it to everyone's imagine as it would be. . . would be. . . well, it's rude to mention the War.

Anyways, the penultimate example is none other than the guy who puts out monstrosities of album covers overtop of his monstrosities of music. Yes folks, it's Heino!

I only plan to post a song in the morning and one in the evening at the most. Now you may ask why but all I got to say is that. . . I take that morning train and I work until nine to five!

dolores haze said:

Black German disco divas teach a crazy history lesson : Rasputin by Boney M.

Insanely catchy. Contains the phrase: "Rah, rah, Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine." Yes, I know every word. Why do you ask?

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I love Bill Nye-ing that song.

Rah-rah Aspartame
Lover of the sugar dame
Who lifted diabetes
Off this Euetes

Denmark's contribution to the music world has been sparse and quite frankly sad. Or, more likely, it has been thoroughly cast to the purgatories of disco floors for bringing us Tommy Seebach. Ultimately, he really has made one song of consequence and of all things, it's a cover that has a music video that mixes minstrel show and just. . . weird.

Bringing back some nightmares from home, how about some summer music that was legislated to pop up on the radio too often. Yes folks, it's Len.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1fzJ_AYajA

Len is generally considered a one-hit wonder but I hope you can see why. The only thing redeeming about the music video is that it has a young Hide from The 70s Show appears for one second at roughly the 1 minute and 50 second mark. Well, that is if you can make it to that point. So I guess I have sent you a challenge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ1Y5QSmmAc

Well, I'm going to leave you this œuvre. How do I put this? It's a,. . . It's a brilliant italo-disco tune that has what might be called analogous to either Kate Bush belting out about her profound libido or a maybe a weird mating call that suffers from the utter lack of personal boundaries in social spaces. I think there is a Rolando or some dweeb singing along too.

Actually, I like this tune but I can see why DJs nowadays do not spin this in their decked-out 80s italo-disco sets.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSN9-Cvv_Mo

Now we go from awkward & creepy to just out right creepy with a cheap finish of heavily accented English.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhkDsTH8eLE

Yes folks, when you're making the moves, among the first questions you ask on a disco floor is "how old are you?"

This trainwreck is worth a listen. A beat poet doing rap and scat and not being too particular versed in either. Also suffering from the same problems that many poets have and not knowing what to do with once they get one: having an audience.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaGm0OvxTss

KellyAssauer said:

I'll apologize in advance for this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKaoHRxIThw

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Dutch pop is awesome for awfulness. The 70s even has a period where all the pop groups from Holland have a disco beat, three lady singers, and a conspicuously choreographed lack of dancing with the feet so they dance with their hands. Luv, Arabesque, A La Carte, Babe. . . I'll post the. . . er tunes when I get home.

All right, here is some of the worst of Holland in the 1970s-1980s.

Three Women who can't dance: Luv - Trojan Horse

Three Muscular Women: A La Carte - When the Boys Come Home

Three Bouncing Women: Arabesque - Tall Story Teller

Three Women in Leather Jackets: Babe - I'm a Rock Machine

Deciding to work solo didn't help:

Vanessa - Upside Down

The Dutch dance-pop scene did not improve until I-F made his debut in 1984-ish.

patskywriter said:

This has got to be the worst Dutch pop song ever—not only is it horrible, but once you've heard it it stays in your head all day. (This came out in 1972, while I was in high school. To say that it baffled us is putting it mildly.)

Mouth & MacNeal—How Do You Do?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QXyqk9flwk

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Needs a good, thundering 909.

The song definitely sounds better in a football stadium: The Original: Speedy J - Pull Over

Let's turn our eyes towards cheesy metal. Like some Joe Esposito!!!