RESULTS: St. William's Valentine's Day Poetry Contest

Uh…I used nearly all of my 2006 allotment of courage to send in my entry, and I’m using much of what’s left for this post. Unfortunately, when it comes to poetry, I don’t think I can find my butt with both hands—mostly because I haven’t really used it (poetry, that is) as a medium of expression, aside from humorous limericks. When I submitted More Than A Room Apart, I added a qualifier in the submission note—I didn’t even know if it was poetry. This is because it comes from a patchwork I wrote called Conversations, in response to a challenge to convey aspects of human nature without description—with only short snippets of (fictitious) intercepted conversation. The ten conversations were written with one part human nature, one part tongue touching inside-of-cheek, and a dash of stereotype. Here’s the introduction to the group, which may help explain some of the background for More Than A Room Apart: Eavesdrop is a means of culling human nature to its barest instincts. It is particularly fascinating when a conversation is stolen without context, so the thief is left to interpret it based on personal experiences. And then, there are conversations that don’t require interpretation…

My only other dive into the poetry ocean—I once penned a half-dozen shorties driven by the emotion of my divorce (many years ago). Here’s my problem. I don’t know the peculiarities of the craft of poetry, so much so I didn’t vote in this competition (I didn’t feel worthy of judging). For me, this is one of those places where I’m putting my toe in the water, and even though it feels warm (due to the support and encouragement of everyone at AW), I’m still hesitant to go for that swim. Sharks, stingrays, lethal jellyfish—they’re all out there, and they’re all hungry to devour all not properly schooled in the craft. Put me in the Sea of Prose, and I’m in past the drop-off without a care.

I am deeply honored to have received two votes, particularly considering the competition. Thank you to those of you who enjoyed my entry. And thank you, William, for hosting the competition—it got my toe in the water…

Cassie, I don't think you should change a word of that poem. Your meaning came across very well, the emotions were conveyed very well, too. If a reader had any doubt about what was happening, the title said it all. That was a very good idea to make "adultery" the title.

You just explained to us in regular words what happened to your family, and I"m sorry you had to go through that. But the way you explained it in your poem also conveyed what it must have been like, and to be able to express that the way you did takes a lot of talent and thought.

The part about "sewing" the mother back together was a very interesting way to put it. I imagined a woman who had basically "fallen apart" and needed to be "sewn" back together.

I also liked this part a lot:

"I colored in a moon with white crayons,
and hung silver-glittered stars
against the empty sky."

We know the person didn't do these things literally, but the thought of how much effort she made to make things right again for her family is so beautiful and moving.

Neuro,

Your poem was definitely a poem, and it was a worthy contender in this contest. I liked the back-and-forth conversation -- it highlighted the misunderstandings between the two voices so well.

I found it interesting to find out who wrote what. When I told my daughter this morning that I'd come in second and third, and told her which poems I'd written, she said, "You mean you didn't write the limerick?"

Kath, funny you should put the "moon" part here... I don't like these lines... first of all, the word "empty" is redundant. picky, maybe, but picky we should be... I don't like HUNG.... FLUNG would have been truer in this section... keeping the same feeling as "SPAT" showing the writer's bitterness and feeling of betrayal. So maybe...

I colored in a moon with white crayons,
and flung silver-glittered stars
into the sky.

...hmmmmm... I don't know....

And yes, I agree about the title... I didn't want the reader to have to try and figure out what the poem was about. Also, it's what adultery is... flat out reality, a reality that I don't think gets enough press.

Cassie, I loved reading your back story, thanks for sharing it. It really touched me, especially being SO fond of your sister's music, it added a whole nother dimension for me in your poetry and her lyrics. (I enjoyed "I dream of you.." immensely, by the way)

I'm off to the dentist, but I'll have her voice in my ears (via ipod) to help sooth the stress

Ultimately, I voted for Rob's piece (#17) because after I read all the poems, 2 lines kept running through my head.

By bold word and deed erased is the snow
That covered my soul, barren of pleasure

They're still there. Amazing stuff. When I read the opening line, I knew I'd love the whole.

Like I said, I have to run to the dentist, but I'll be back to comment on others. So many beautiful poems, so little time!

How do I keep missing all the contests? I've got to visit this board more often...


Anyway, I'm enjoying the poems. Congratulations to the winners. I found the winning poem to be deeply moving. (I'm always impressed by poetry that succeeds in moving me emotionally, probably even more than by poetry that makes me think.)

NeuroFizz said:

Uh…I used nearly all of my 2006 allotment of courage to send in my entry, and I’m using much of what’s left for this post.

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I hope you didn't use it all. I would like to read more of your work. I found the byplay between the two people very interesting.

Saritams8 said:

Cassie, I loved reading your back story, thanks for sharing it. It really touched me, especially being SO fond of your sister's music, it added a whole nother dimension for me in your poetry and her lyrics. (I enjoyed "I dream of you.." immensely, by the way)

I'm off to the dentist, but I'll have her voice in my ears (via ipod) to help sooth the stress

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Sarah, OMG, that's right...since you've listened to "An Ordinary Day" ...you know how the story continued. UGH... Oh God.. I didn't cry when I wrote that poem but all of a sudden thinking of Vicky's song... S--T....

If anyone is interested in checking Vicky out, see my post in the songwriting forum about her.

Sarah, I'll tell Vick!

Cassie

Just want to mention that love response to DeDe, in the voice of a woman was also a favourite of mine. I'm not sure I can analyse why. It's just that when I read it I though, Cool!

There were so many wonderful poems, it's hard to keep track without them right in front of me. Plus, I hesitate to single any out and so inadvertantly omit others. In my eye, they were all winners!!

I do think, though, that it might've been better if each contestant had been restricted to only one poem - so that there might've been more of a decisive winner and also so that the votes could have been spread among more contestants. I just thought it would've been more fun that way for everybody involved. Just a thought if there's ever another one.

I'd also like to congratulate Cassie for her winning poem which was both thought-provoking and emotionally powerful. Thank you, Cassie!!

I'm a sore loser, so I won't say anything. But at least one person voted for me, so I'd like to know his/her name so I can thank him/her for being the only one with taste.

brokenfingers said:

I do think, though, that it might've been better if each contestant had been restricted to only one poem - so that there might've been more of a decisive winner and also so that the votes could have been spread among more contestants. I just thought it would've been more fun that way for everybody involved. Just a thought if there's ever another one.

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I tend to agree. Also, and this is just MHO, it works out better if you can't vote for your own. I mean, if you had 35 poets and each poet voted for themself the contest is meaningless because it seems very few people who are not entered actually vote. Even if half the poets voted for their own, it could make quite a difference. If you can't vote for yourself, the most each poet loses is one vote, but if you can, and lots do, a really good poem could potentially lose many votes that it might have received from those who used the default setting and voted for their own.

As kind as William is to donate a book, I don't think anyone would need that as an incentive--bragging rights are probably enough. (I probably won't submit again, but I will certainly continue to vote.)

I stand corrected.

maestrowork said:

I'm a sore loser, so I won't say anything. But at least one person voted for me, so I'd like to know his/her name so I can thank him/her for being the only one with taste.

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Ditto for me.

Can't say that myself- I didn't even get my own vote!!!HA!

maestrowork said:

I'm a sore loser, so I won't say anything. But at least one person voted for me, so I'd like to know his/her name so I can thank him/her for being the only one with taste.

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Oh poor Raymond. If it makes you feel just the slightest bit better, your poem, You Left #19(which happens to be my favorite number) was one of the 6 poems I was trying to choose between. So ya came pretty close!

Perks said:

I voted for mkcbunny's Postmortem. What a pithy kick. Elegant words without ambiguity is what I hope to learn to render, so how could I not vote for that one. Loved it, even if it was on the painful side of Valentine's Day.

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Thank you for the compliment and your vote. What's funny is that tend to ramble in person, and in letters and memos, too. Sometimes, I just go on, and on, and on. Especially when I am tired. I seem to have more restraint when writing poetry.

I normally write verse similar to one of my favourite entries, Rhymegirl’s A Mother’s Mementoes (#9), or dabble with haikus or limericks, but decided to play outside the square with my entry, Eternal Blossom (#11). It is a tribute to the words my husband wrote in the card he gave me for our recent 15th wedding anniversary, and expresses the beauty and delicacy of our relationship. Our love, ever-changing, will be nurtured forever within the garden of our passion – our hearts.

Although I've since edited it (to present tense, and removed reference to myself by changing "my" to "lone"), my second entry was a short and sharp haiku, A pain like no other (#12), and sums up the feelings I share with my husband. From the moment we met, we felt the pain of love. Just to gaze at each other, to stroke one another, to whisper sweet nothings, or recite our love notes – anything, everything, hurt in a deep and unfathomable way; the way love twists your insides - you know you’ll never be the same. We can’t stand to be apart, nor can we ever get close enough to one another. It’s painful, yet it’s a pain we couldn’t live without. I voted on behalf of my husband, my Valentine, for this one.