Romance in long running UF series

Personally, a long unnecessarily drawn out love vs. duty conflict annoys me just as much, because I'd start to wonder why they're even together, if neither one of them can empathize with what the other is going through. That line could work for part of it, though. It seems to me that if they are really good for each other, they'd resolve it somehow, and respect any choices the other makes.

You could probably also do the will-they-won't-they for some amount of time, but who says that the romance has to end with them getting together? Relationships grow and develop just like any character. It's not like they'll know everything about each other even after they hook up. Even then, it's not strictly necessary to keep shifting love interests, or to constantly have the 'are they cheating on me?' worry, because that's just the same stage over and over again. Take a look at Jim and Pam from The Office, if you want an example of an extended relationship story of a regular couple.

Maybe both find that they have to reconcile what they want out of life if they want to be together, because they want to do different things.

Maybe they never keep secrets from each other, but one day, one of them gets into a situation where they have to keep a secret just to protect the other one, and it starts coming between them. Maybe the secret has to do with their past.

Maybe one of them is somehow afraid that they'll bring harm to the other. A sense of protectiveness coupled with fear can go a long way.

Also, you could include many little every day moments that show how close they are, without having to shove it down the reader's throat just to remind them that they're together. They'll probably have their own jokes, and little quarrels.

If it's a series, you could very well have them start a family, inadvertently or not, which would bring a whole heap of drama on its own. Or, there could be drama between both of their families, which could affect the relationship.

You could also have one of them get dangerously sick, even if they don't die in the end. The fear both feel, and the strength they gain from dealing with it together, will make the relationship come out stronger.

Most of all, envision where you want them to be, at the end of their life together (even if that's way past the end of your series). Are they that old couple that still dances together in the evenings, even without music? Are they still travelers until death? Whatever it is, imagine it, and then picture all the things that would make them who they are at that point. Heck, maybe you could even sit down with the really old versions of your characters, and ask them for the story of their life.

Hmm, I've been thinking about this, as I have plans to write more novels with my characters who ended up together at the end of my first novel. I hate it when lovers keep having spats and contrived fallings out, just to keep the romantic tension alive. I hate it even more when they break up and end up with new partners for the same reason.
Possible tacks:

1. Screw romantic tension, aside from plausible and normal issues that any well-adjusted couple would have. Make the focus of the story some adversary or issue they are facing together, as partners. In essence, have the partnership be the protagonist. Think a buddy story where the buddies are lovers. You could swap povs between the two, as needed, or write it in omni if that makes more sense.

2. Or, if only one person is/was the pov in the original book where they got together, then keep him or her as the pov character, but again, just have the relationship something that's part of his or her life without focusing on problems related to the relationship overly much. Have the partner be a character who is important in the story, as seen through the eyes of the main character.

3. Separate them occasionally, to have them pursue separate character or story arcs. Shift back and forth between each location/pov as needed to advance the story. Have the two arcs converge again when it makes sense. Maybe even make the need to find one another a focus.

4. Introduce or develop a different pov character and have some or all of the focus shift to them in subsequent installments. If you want romantic tension in the story again, have that person develop a romance.

I like what Roxxsmom wrote.

I was going to come in and say exactly what Roxxsmom did (though probably less well). Ninja'ed!

Personally, I hate will-they-or-won't-they. I also hate manufactured conflict in relationships; it just frustrates me (and I would count the duty vs. romance thing as manufactured conflict; it's overdone and just makes me think they shouldn't be together). I wish more series would do mature, adult relationships, long-term or not.

I was having a conversation recently with how lacking the "established relationship" dynamic is in various specific sorts of fiction . . . and how much we wish there was more of it. Exactly as Roxxsmom said, if you can write buddy adventures, why not have significant others who have adventures?

Like Roxxsmom said, screw romantic tension. Or, if you really must have that variety of tension, make 'em poly and have them navigate bringing a new girlfriend into the relationship or something.

Romance is hard to write as a story, because in and of itself, in its ground state, it's a very boring and linear thing. Any conflict has to be artificially induced, at the risk of having it be--artificial. It is very hard to do an adult relationship that is both realistic and compelling in the story.

Still, don't throw rocks at the romance just for conflict's sake. As Roxxsmom said, it makes one wonder if the characters are even right for each other. Instead, have the romance on the side, as something that happens in their lives, right alongside any other conflict. Look at the TV show Castle, as another example.

I really like the treating it as a buddy story idea -- that explains it so much better. Just like with a friendship, the external conflict is the focus, but you can use aspects of it to shape the relationship. Treat the relationship as a character.

Another way to have long-running romantic tension is to have multiple sets of relationships, in various stages. Maybe another character who either has a succession of one night stands, or who's been single, could find love. Maybe someone else could lose someone. Maybe there's one relationship that takes longer to mature, while another is faster.

If you do that, you could use the character quirks of each person involved to make each relationship unique. Maybe two characters just like a really odd hobby, or both have really odd personality quirks that complement each other. I'm going to throw another example out here -- Silver Linings Playbook. It's a really sweet romance where both the characters have mental problems. It's not the usual romantic comedy, but it completely functions as one.

Hope this helps!

Bear in mind I don't read genre romance and don't enjoy most of the tropes. Romance is only a small subplot if I include it at all. So that disclaimer done...

The way I planned to do it was mainly to focus on the relationship, rather than the romance. By that I mean they'll get together in a realistic timeframe without any instalove, go on dates, meet the parents, get a flat, and the things average couples do. Rather than spending ten books of fate holding them back / contrived breakups.

I enjoy Lynn Flewelling's Nightrunner series, and after book 2, the two main protagonists are a done deal as a couple. It is, in essence, a buddy story but with the buddies in love. There are occasional conflicts and tensions between them, as there would be in any relationship (even Fafherd and the Gray Mouser got annoyed at one another sometimes), but the drama and conflict is external. Of course, in a story where the romance is a subplot and not the main plot, that's an easier shift to make.

And the author does have romances develop with her support cast as well, so that keeps that kind of tension going. It was kind of sweet seeing old stick in the mud Theo (who had been in thorn in everyone's side for the first couple of books at least) finally find love.

In my own novel, I have the two main characters become friends first, though the attraction is there from the beginning. They have setbacks and distractions (things are pretty grim for a while, and they do have some external problems to solve), but in the end, they come through it. I tend not to like romantic subplots that seem to involve two people who have nothing in common outside of the sack. Maybe it's because I'm old enough to have seen plenty examples of how well those kinds of relationships tend to not work out long term.

Oh and I never had her loathe him, which seems to be a common romance trope and one that annoys me. I also didn't have what amounts to an acquaintance rape couched as a misunderstanding early on. Another one that annoys me to no end.

Everything Roxxsmom said.


Please, please, pleeeeeease don't do the contrived romantic tension when there is no logical reason they can't just be together and have normal people spats about whose turn it is to feed the dragon.

REad JD Robbs' (Nora Robets's) In Death series.

MC falls for guy early on, but conflicts turns up, they resolve them etc etc. All the books concentrate on the mystery with everything else a sub plots

This is not romance, you don't have to do the whole HEA every book (unless you're writing PNR, in which case you probably do, because it's a subset of romance)

The trick with romance in UF is that while romance readers will love the tension, they will eventually expect an HEA. That's not to say you can't continue on with the world after said HEA, but the tension has to continue in some form. The one that I've found manages it best is the Otherworld series by Yasmine Galenorn. It's technically billed as paranormal romance on the shelves, but it's the same three characters, sisters, who rotate their own books (so technically, UF). They also rotate love interests (multiple matings) and manage to keep the tension going. Give them a read and see if you like how it works there.

This is my personal IMO romantic wishlist when it's secondary to the main plot.

- Have them have independent lives outside of the romance. (You know, something bordering on healthy).

- Have them think and have troubles outside of the person they are interested in. (So for example, in a hetero relationship, the woman isn't always thinking about the man and how to make him happy. *gag* Same for other relationships and the reverse.)

- If they are "meant to be" and they break up (hopefully not an unhealthy amount of times) then don't have either character sleep with everyone in town... (I pretty much imagine all of the venereal diseases) and then have them get back together and make it easy... (OMG, you slept with the whole town of men/women.)

- Have it enhance, but not be critical to the main plot. (i.e. raise or lower stakes.)

- Please for the sake of whatever you hold dear, do not fridge anyone.
(You can look it up.)

- Also a personal thing, I don't mind rivals so much as long as the character isn't indecisive about it. I prefer, though, that the major conflict comes from the character trying to be with a different person and getting along with them, rather than being endless rivals, which puts the characters looking a little less One True Love.

Other than that...

There are plenty of things that makes it difficult in a fantasy setting.

There is the will they won't they.
The opposition of people.
The opposition of society as a whole
socioeconomic backgrounds.
cultural clashes.

And then when they get together--after all that adventuring, if they stop, will the excitement fall out of the relationship? Will they be able to stay together?

Since you have a city to play with you can also play with districting and internal politics/religions. No two people have the same exact politics which can influence little fights here and there.

There is also the usual, who will do the laundry, who cooks, who cleans, who makes the money. And what do you do when those things have to change? Who is messier v. cleaner.

And also children--how will they be raised--many divorces seem to happen around 5-6 years when the children put a strain on the relationship.

Large things can also put strains on marriages and staying together, such as death, disasters, child death, money and affairs (secret, for the polyamory crowd). Also not being able to see each other for a long time. (Though if it's five years I have issues...)

My favorite conflict though is where one person in the relationship knows that the other person is slacking and what they think they want isn't good for them in the long run, so they refuse. If it's run right, then you believe that they end up stronger. (for all relationships) This comes from knowing them well.

For example, a mother might tell their son to eat their vegetables, even though the son doesn't like it. Or the mother tells the son that they should go out for the sports team because they understand that the son is anxious about meeting new people which is why he's hesitating, but the mother knows he likes that particular sport.

Same in romantic relationships....

Kinda shows that the relationship is healthy when the people in it have something new to contribute and are thinking of the well being of the other person against the other person's short term wishes. (though I don't need the dramatic effect of the self-sacrificing).

Anyway, I hope that list will help. I definitely think that the city itself can influence a relationship. Your honey is caught up in traffic. Your honey watches a shot... and doesn't call.