Argh ... Me Dawg still be in trainin ... pooped on the deck and now jack o clubs be smellin like a month old leftover lobstah.
Old Fart's and Pouffes Bar, Grill, and Hogewey Infirmary
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Garrrr!!! Rag!!!!! You were right about that predictive text, Gail. *Stalks off to hunt down missing peg leg* And it better not be in the lost and found ... or under your bed, Vern!!
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You didn't have a problem being under the bed last night!
Porter, wuzat you under Vernie's bed with me last night? It wuz dark, and with all the extra bedpans, it wuz hard to tell.
You have to live long enough to be a pain in the tush to you kids!
*has no kids to be a pain in the tush to
You couldn't tell from the back hair or the farts? (Hard to believe he went a full night without a fart.)
You didn't have a problem being under the bed last night!
I was hoping that was just a high test nightmare.
*has no kids to be a pain in the tush to
Become a teacher. That way you can be a pain in the tush to whole lot of them.
Become a teacher. That way you can be a pain in the tush to whole lot of them.
Especially an English teacher. We haunt kids' nightmares into their old age.
Then when old English teachers retire, they become editors and go right on haunting.
Hee hee hee.
Especially an English teacher. We haunt kids' nightmares into their old age.
Then when old English teachers retire, they become editors and go right on haunting.
Totally awesome!!!
He edited my book and let me keep six words as I had them written "Once upon a time" and "the end"
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I never started a book that way, but that sense of climbing time has definitely got me intrigued.
I bet he'd take all my Oxford commas away. 
Not that he's likely to be short of them. I'm pretty sure he's got a huge stash of 'em somewhere.
Not that he's likely to be short of them. I'm pretty sure he's got a huge stash of 'em somewhere.
You set me up for this, didn't you?I bet he'd take all my Oxford commas away.
Not that he's likely to be short of them. I'm pretty sure he's got a huge stash of 'em somewhere under Lavern's bed.
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I bet he'd take all my Oxford commas away.
Not that he's likely to be short of them. I'm pretty sure he's got a huge stash of 'em somewhere.
Nope, after my first book he ran short.
Even had to contact other old English professors for their extras. 
Thankfully, they were short of 'that' and 'had' and were able to swap.
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Thankfully, they were short of 'that' and 'had' and were able to swap.
I'm looking back at the previous posts and trying to see what havoc I can wreak by replacing 'that' and 'had' with ... well something else.
I bet he'd take all my Oxford commas away.
JJ is correct. I'm all for the Oxford comma and begged him to include the little buggers.
One of the best (and funniest) reasons for the Oxford comma is exemplified in the apocryphal dedication: The author intended to thank a trilogy with, "I dedicate this book to my parents, Ayn Rand, and God."
However, the zealous editor trained in the newspaper tradition removed the Oxford comma, and it became: "I dedicate this book to my parents, Ayn Rand and God."
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forty three of them head bricks waterlogged fish no new years party fund in the woods were food for because
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Ok. Ima sleep for a few hours and re-read that. A little early for a migraine - so thanks fer that.
Become a teacher. That way you can be a pain in the tush to whole lot of them.
Oh heavens NO. I love kids but 30 of them at a time, all day?? Uh uh. No. I know my limits.
Especially an English teacher. We haunt kids' nightmares into their old age.
Then when old English teachers retire, they become editors and go right on haunting.
*ponders creating an Editor costume for Halloween
I bet he'd take all my Oxford commas away.
The day that happens we'll know it's an imposter.
Nope, after my first book he ran short.
Thankfully, they were short of 'that' and 'had' and were able to swap.
They could have gotten plenty of "had"s from a former writing buddy of mine - passive voice was a favorite of his. If they still need some "that", however, I have plenty. (Boy do I have plenty!)
*unable to translate Moose for editing
You've crossed the line from funny to offensive here, Pickaxe.
I can take werewolves, Frankenstein's monster, ghosts, vampires, and even Stevie King's vicious clowns, but nothing--I repeat--nothing strikes terror into the hearts of writers' more than an old geezer in green eye shades and sleeve garters weilding a deadly blue pencil.
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... deadly blue pencil.
I've never run across that particular shade of blue, but I'm definitely going to track it down.