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Old Fart's and Pouffes Bar, Grill, and Hogewey Infirmary
- Thread starter Haggis
- Start date
Dear NathanBrazil,
We apologize for the significant oversight in not issuing you an engraved invitation to the month of July.
*Not transferable, and does not imply invitation to other months of any given year.
We apologize for the significant oversight in not issuing you an engraved invitation to the month of July.
NathanBrazil
Is here by invited, in perpetutity
To the Month of July*
Is here by invited, in perpetutity
To the Month of July*
*Not transferable, and does not imply invitation to other months of any given year.
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2010
- Messages
- 5,331
- Reaction score
- 889
I hope everybody has a happy and safe July 4th.
Or as I like to call it, The Original Brexit.
Or as I like to call it, The Original Brexit.
Ahhh, the benefits of being on the planet a sufficient number of years: It's warm and gorgeous in my backyard, my favorite place to write (edit in this case). And I have no interest whatsoever in driving a mile to watch the city fireworks from my usual viewing hill.
Dogs are bathed, wine is good, Sgt Pepper's on the radio, the bears are at the falls, the salmon are running wild and the cams are online. Happy 4th everyone!
Dogs are bathed, wine is good, Sgt Pepper's on the radio, the bears are at the falls, the salmon are running wild and the cams are online. Happy 4th everyone!
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*looks around at deserted bar* 
*gets duster and wipes dust off counter*
*sees tiny paw marks amid broken glass on floor*
*wonders what happened*
*does inventory of Lost & Found box*
1 set of dentures
1 moth-eaten cardigan
1 fuchsia-pink bra, size DD
1 fishnet stocking, laddered
2 pairs of... unmentionables
1 leopard print sock
1 and 1/2 pairs of bifocals
1 small dog collar
1 toupee, blonde with gray streaks
1 false eyelash
1 hearing aid, missing battery
1 battery, missing...something
*sighs*
*restocks liquor cabinets*
*gets duster and wipes dust off counter*
*sees tiny paw marks amid broken glass on floor*
*wonders what happened*
*does inventory of Lost & Found box*
1 set of dentures
1 moth-eaten cardigan
1 fuchsia-pink bra, size DD
1 fishnet stocking, laddered
2 pairs of... unmentionables
1 leopard print sock
1 and 1/2 pairs of bifocals
1 small dog collar
1 toupee, blonde with gray streaks
1 false eyelash
1 hearing aid, missing battery
1 battery, missing...something
*sighs*
*restocks liquor cabinets*
*notes "medicinal" liquor has been restocked
*downs some of said medicinal beverage for bronchitis cure
*downs some of said medicinal beverage for bronchitis cure
Why are there no pouffes whenever I visit??? I guess I could heat up the grill in case anyone's hungry, and I feel the need for "medicinal" shots. *searches alcohol bottles for the poison (err, MEDICINE) of the day*
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2010
- Messages
- 5,331
- Reaction score
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Well, kill it dern ya, before it gets into my rice krispies.
I'll take a shot of JD por favor.
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*Grabs pink bra and leopard-print sock, and retreats to the Day Room*
*develops a picture in his head*
Hey, you young whippersnapper. Sounds like you've got a darkroom in your head.
*switches on red light*
Oh, and I'll have a G&T, thanks.
1st post here, got 73 summers under my belt so I suppose I qualify - had a Charley Horse when I woke up while ago, or as we say in Texas, "got a hitch in my git-along." 
I need more coffee.
I need more coffee.
Never heard the term? Your attempt at humor (?) escapes me. Anyhow it's a muscle spasm in the leg (you were expecting it to be somewhere else?
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????/
A personalized, customized, hand-engraved bedpan is the traditional Welcome Gift* here. Lavern is in charge of arranging that. So just park your walker over here and put your feet up.
*We used to have a welcome wagon but someone stole it and the donkey disappeared. There was a rumor that Haggis ate it.
The donkey, too. Probably.
Hey, you young whippersnapper. Sounds like you've got a darkroom in your head.
*switches on red light*
Oh, and I'll have a G&T, thanks.
It's a very nice picture, though. Well, I mean, I liked it.
And a G & T coming right up!
Do you have a favorite brand for the G?