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Thread: QUILTBAG general thread?

  1. #1
    Revolutionize the World kuwisdelu's Avatar
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    QUILTBAG general thread?

    Does anyone else think it would be nice to have a general QUILTBAG thread for introductions and general QUILTBAG-related / safe-space conversations that don't necessarily need their own threads?

    Kind of like the T party thread but for more general, non-tg-specific conversation, or just as a general QUILTBAG-friendly discussion thread?

  2. #2
    waxing digital artistic Gale Haut's Avatar
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    Sounds cool.

    And I took a shower this time so...

    lol

  3. #3
    Inappropriately math-oriented. slhuang's Avatar
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    I like it!

  4. #4
    Revolutionize the World kuwisdelu's Avatar
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    Hi. I'm Kuwi.

    My latest theory as to figuring myself out is that I'm not actually bisexual, but rather bigender, and I'm attracted to girls when I identify as male and guys when I identify as female.

    MFW wondering if this actually makes me a privileged straight person and I should GTFO.

    O_O

  5. #5
    Inappropriately math-oriented. slhuang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kuwisdelu View Post
    MFW wondering if this actually makes me a privileged straight person and I should GTFO.

    O_O
    Aw, Kuwi, of course you're welcome here no matter how you decide to identify.

    Incidentally, one thing I love about a lot of safe spaces is how people just . . . don't judge. You're straight, that's cool. You're gay, that's cool. You're bisexual aromantic, that's cool. Your identity isn't in the dictionary,* that's cool too.

    It can be such a relief -- one of the most tiring things I find about mentioning identity in the mainstream is that people always demand I explain. Or worse, defend.

    * Tried to find a link to the relevant Girls With Slingshots comic; my google fu failed.

  6. #6
    Red fish, blue fish... J.S.F.'s Avatar
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    Meh, what you are, you are, and if you're happy that way, then no one has the right to judge you. I'm straight, I love my wife, and that's about it. For those who are into same-sex relationships, more power to you. Find happiness with the one who makes you happy. It's all good.

  7. #7
    Revolutionize the World kuwisdelu's Avatar
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    So.

    Who is everyone else?

  8. #8
    practical experience, FTW buzhidao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kuwisdelu View Post
    Hi. I'm Kuwi.

    My latest theory as to figuring myself out is that I'm not actually bisexual, but rather bigender, and I'm attracted to girls when I identify as male and guys when I identify as female.
    If nothing else, that's a great icebreaker. You know, for job interviews, random-stranger-bus-conversations, etc.

    Last edited by buzhidao; 04-12-2013 at 05:19 PM.

  9. #9
    Cultus Gopherus MacAllister Medievalist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kuwisdelu View Post
    Hi. I'm Kuwi.

    My latest theory as to figuring myself out is that I'm not actually bisexual, but rather bigender, and I'm attracted to girls when I identify as male and guys when I identify as female.

    MFW wondering if this actually makes me a privileged straight person and I should GTFO.

    O_O
    Orientation is one thing, gender another. You can has both. And orientation is more a spectrum or, in GUI terms, a slider. Nor am I certain that gender for many isn't also a spectrum.

    And I have straight people in my family, even! o_O

    However you identify, you're our Kuwi.

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  10. #10
    Great idea, Kuwi. I'm all for an introductory whatsit in here. I feel like there was something similar, or a thread we were using for kinda the same thing, back when the subforum was born? Did I imagine that?

    Anyway:

    I've been ID'ing as bi for a while, but I think a more accurate term is something like "panromantic asexual." Not terribly interested in sex, but in someone I can carry on a good, deep conversation with, gender and biological sex not being an issue. (Yeesh--this sounds like a personals ad now.)

    The thing is, the more reading I do, and the more I educate myself on LGBT issues in general, the more words I learn. And the ones I was using before don't seem to fit anymore.
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  11. #11
    practical experience, FTW buzhidao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kuwisdelu View Post
    So.

    Who is everyone else?
    I'm going with "aromantic asexual" at present. :p
    Last edited by buzhidao; 04-12-2013 at 08:02 PM.

  12. #12
    Revolutionize the World kuwisdelu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhoda Nightingale View Post
    Great idea, Kuwi. I'm all for an introductory whatsit in here. I feel like there was something similar, or a thread we were using for kinda the same thing, back when the subforum was born? Did I imagine that?
    I think there probably was too, but didn't see anything, so I started this.

    I was kind of frustrated with another thread over in gaming and remembered how nice the no-BS is in this sub-forum and began to miss that it didn't have a general discussion thread of any kind. I'm hoping it can be for more than just introductions. Just kind of a safe space for whatever off-topic conversation.

    I've been ID'ing as bi for a while, but I think a more accurate term is something like "panromantic asexual."
    I went with bisexual and then pansexual but neither felt quite right.

  13. #13
    Shy Betula alleghaniensis Goldbirch's Avatar
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    There was this relatively recent thread, which got rescued from an unpromising start and which Mac gave an excellent name:
    http://absolutewrite.com/forums/show...=256609&page=3 I was a little sad when that petered out.

    This is a nice thread, too. Go, general thread, go!

    I'm Goldbirch, and I'm shy. Also bi, or at least that's the word I've been using. It's easier and tidier than "mostly skews straight, but is happily married to a same-sex partner".

  14. #14
    Revolutionize the World kuwisdelu's Avatar
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    A few months ago, I casually mentioned to my father that I wished I were a little girl. But that might have been because I've been hanging out on /a/ too much lately.

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by kuwisdelu View Post
    I'm hoping it can be for more than just introductions. Just kind of a safe space for whatever off-topic conversation.
    A safe space for randomness sounds awesome. I had another forum for that awhile ago, but it sort of dissolved. Still in touch with a lot of those people, but in other capacities.

    I went with bisexual and then pansexual but neither felt quite right.
    That's the other thing that's both frustrating/enlightening for me--I feel like new orientations/identities seem to pop up every time I turn around. It's interesting, but I feel like I'm always playing catch-up. Not that I begrudge anyone finding new, more accurate terms for themselves--not at all. But...so much vocabulary!
    BETA-ING: Cave Draconem (YA urban fantasy), 57k words
    EDITING: What The Rain Brought In (horror), 10,000 words
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  16. #16
    Revolutionize the World kuwisdelu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhoda Nightingale View Post
    That's the other thing that's both frustrating/enlightening for me--I feel like new orientations/identities seem to pop up every time I turn around. It's interesting, but I feel like I'm always playing catch-up. Not that I begrudge anyone finding new, more accurate terms for themselves--not at all. But...so much vocabulary!
    At some point, it becomes a question of whether you want to use a word that best describes you, actually take the time to describe yourself, or just use a word that other people will know that's kinda-sorta "close enough".

    I tried "I'm not straight" for a while, but then people assumed I was gay. Then I tried "I'm not exactly straight". But then gay people I met assumed I was just closeted.


  17. #17
    Yeah, "close-enough" is what I go with most of the time IRL. I'm pretty sure my family doesn't know what "panromantic" means, and I'm too lazy to define it for them.
    BETA-ING: Cave Draconem (YA urban fantasy), 57k words
    EDITING: What The Rain Brought In (horror), 10,000 words
    WIP: Devil's Bridge (space opera), 28k

    Blog: http://glitter-n-gore.dreamwidth.com/

  18. #18
    waxing digital artistic Gale Haut's Avatar
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    My orientation makes the end of the word Quiltbag sound like someone is hacking up their left lung.

    Gale Haut.

  19. #19
    Wouldn't you like to know? RemaCaracappa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kuwisdelu View Post
    So.

    Who is everyone else?
    I generally identify as bi because its easy to say and concise, but it's a lot more accurate to say that I tend to be attracted to extremely specific persons without regard to whether they're male or female (though they have been historically cisgendered.)

    I'm ridiculously picky...lol

  20. #20
    Revolutionize the World kuwisdelu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PainAndLight View Post
    I generally identify as bi because its easy to say and concise, but it's a lot more accurate to say that I tend to be attracted to extremely specific persons without regard to whether they're male or female (though they have been historically cisgendered.)

    I'm ridiculously picky...lol
    That's mostly true for me, too. Lately, the particular way I think about that attraction, among other thoughts, has made me question the gender identity bit, too.

  21. #21
    avem narrans lastlittlebird's Avatar
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    I'm bi.
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  22. #22
    And so... Tepelus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PainAndLight View Post
    I generally identify as bi because its easy to say and concise, but it's a lot more accurate to say that I tend to be attracted to extremely specific persons without regard to whether they're male or female (though they have been historically cisgendered.)

    I'm ridiculously picky...lol
    Yeah, this describes me as well, though I must not be that picky considering my past relationships and all.
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  23. #23
    Penúltimo maxmordon's Avatar
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    Hey there.

    I tend to self-identifying me as bisexual for the same reason as many above; it's easier. Notheless, I have only shared these feelings with very few people IRL. I actually never have had a serious romantic relationship nor engaged in a sexual activity with another person and as such I believe I will never can't tell until I have had some experience.

    I've felt attracted to both, men and women (and some in-between...) and even though I felt said attractions distinct from each other and tend to feel be able to open up more with women since I alway feel I need to prove something to men I really never truly understood the why of the different social treatment they get, though.

    I have problems picturing myself engaged in sexual activities and the idea of actual sex tends to disgusting ideas of weird moles and hair and the stink of sweat of genitalia and ass. I consider myself akward, unactractive and my penis frankly disappointing. When I was a teenager I used to shower in my underpants since I hated the idea of actual nakedness. My family was not prudish, all the opposite, bjt there was some push on heteronormative sex. Grandpa always rambled on taking me to a brothel and how we he was a kid he had already sex with women (and some goats and donkeys).

    I recently discovered I have phimosis (Do not google images of it) meaning I can't pull over my foreskin and make me figuring out why erectio s were painful sometimes. The doctor recommended a circumcision, I'm still on the fence about it.
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  24. #24
    Revolutionize the World kuwisdelu's Avatar
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    max, you should know better than to tell me not to google something.

  25. #25
    Penúltimo maxmordon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kuwisdelu View Post
    max, you should know better than to tell me not to google something.
    That was some bait I let there, doesn't?

    The amusing bit is that neither mom nor grandma have heard of that and are weirded out about it.
    Latest work:

    Fiction: "Last Time" on Strange Horizons
    Non-Fiction: "Fearing Hope: Confessions of a Wrecked Mind" on Caracas Chronicles

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