QUILTBAG general thread?

maxmordon said:

Thank you, Diana!

And I agree, Jade. So many of us usually do our first steps thinking we're the only ones feeling different than everyone else, so having friends we can bond over experiences and perspectives is such a treasure and very few things can compare to that.

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so true. my closest friends are all LGBTQ+. it's really nice to know that with them I'm safe and understood

Polly said:

Aw, thanks, folks! You are all invariably lovely.
It seems daft to be worried but it's been such a long time coming. Thank you for the support

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it's not daft at all. everyone's nervous to tell their parents. I hope it goes well!

Sending good vibes, Polly!

Thanks, all!
It actually went as well as could have been hoped. Uncomfortable and awkward but my dad in particular was quite understanding, really. Such a relief as religious upbringing was a big factor in making things difficult to come to terms with - and they're still very active in the church.
Thank you again for letting me angst at you!

Yay! Glad to hear it went well.

Well done!

so my spouse recently came out as non-binary to me. they haven't told everyone yet, but they put it on their facebook profile. so they're fine with people knowing, they're just dreading actual coming out discussions. especially with their family, who are pretty understanding, but still learning

I had always wondered if they were trans, so when they told me, it really didn't come as a shock. I just hope I can support them well enough, you know? I'm talking to my trans friends, getting advice, talking to spouse about how they're doing. I just want them to know that we're solid, even if other things in their life are rocky

Polly said:

Thanks, all!
It actually went as well as could have been hoped. Uncomfortable and awkward but my dad in particular was quite understanding, really. Such a relief as religious upbringing was a big factor in making things difficult to come to terms with - and they're still very active in the church.
Thank you again for letting me angst at you!

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so glad it went ok!

I've decided to give up on all human relationships. Just not worth it. Back to the Fortress of Solitude.

Diana Hignutt said:

I've decided to give up on all human relationships. Just not worth it. Back to the Fortress of Solitude.

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what happened?

Jade A said:

what happened?

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Little things, everyday, just chipping away at me. I find myself in my early 50s, having had to put my dad in assisted living after caring for him 24/7/365 and running his company for three years. I feel like an intruder, a usurper who has taken his stuff. For petty reasons, my mom and sister have stopped talking to me. My little brother had a cancer scare and he's fallen off the planet. My ex and I have a complicated relationship that won't seem to end completely. I'm taking steps to make myself happy (buying a little beach cottage in Jamaica for vacations, income, and retirement) and that pisses everybody off. I feel so broken. So tired. So, uninterested in ever getting close to another human being.

As Dr. Manhattan said: “I'm tired of this Earth,these people. I'm tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives”

Maybe, I'm just in one of my moods.

Diana Hignutt said:

Little things, everyday, just chipping away at me. I find myself in my early 50s, having had to put my dad in assisted living after caring for him 24/7/365 and running his company for three years. I feel like an intruder, a usurper who has taken his stuff. For petty reasons, my mom and sister have stopped talking to me. My little brother had a cancer scare and he's fallen off the planet. My ex and I have a complicated relationship that won't seem to end completely. I'm taking steps to make myself happy (buying a little beach cottage in Jamaica for vacations, income, and retirement) and that pisses everybody off. I feel so broken. So tired. So, uninterested in ever getting close to another human being.

As Dr. Manhattan said: “I'm tired of this Earth,these people. I'm tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives”

Maybe, I'm just in one of my moods.

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I'm so sorry to hear that

Diana Hignutt said:

As Dr. Manhattan said: “I'm tired of this Earth,these people. I'm tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives”

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that's really rough having to deal with other people's expectations weighs on a person.

I think a cottage in Jamaica sounds really cool

I finally did it--I broke up with my critique group! I was one of the founding members, more than 5 years ago, but I've known for many months that it just wasn't working for me anymore. I'm queer, I'm firmly set in writing queer YA, and the others don't quite know what to do with it. I'd hoped they would embrace viewpoints different than their own, but it never happened. There were other issues as well...all pointing to the fact it was time for me to go. So I very carefully crafted a resignation letter, making sure not to point fingers or blame anyone. Needs change, people grow apart. It happens. Fresh viewpoints are healthy.

Their response was kind of funny. They all took it to mean I was quitting writing entirely. So now I've got several "nooooooooooo" messages, and can't quite figure out how to say "No, I'm still writing, I just need a different group."

Diana Hignutt said:

I've decided to give up on all human relationships. Just not worth it. Back to the Fortress of Solitude.

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I'm sorry, that sucks...

Jade A said:

so my spouse recently came out as non-binary to me...

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Wow, best of luck to both of you!

Jade A said:

that's really rough having to deal with other people's expectations weighs on a person.

I think a cottage in Jamaica sounds really cool

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Yeah, I am psyched about the Treasure Beach house. I think apart from dealing with others expectations it comes down to two things: I don't think I'm capable of love anymore,(I don't even think I believe it anymore.) And, I've had to compromise my moral code so much over the last three years (lying to my dad everyday that he's going to come home-the Assisted Living people want him to have hope and I suck at lying), running a business. I'll get past it. Thanks to all who chimed in.

Um hey, I'm not really hip to the whole 'using a forum' manners thing, but I'm hoping to make some LGBTQ writer friends, since my hetero pals have been a wee bit not cool recently. (One of them made a Rebecca Black Friday reference about me being bi, which was both simultaneously hilarious and the absolute last straw for my patience)

So, uh, can I sit at the cool kids table with y'all? I can provide snacks and mild-to-scintillating conversation.

ladyfnick said:

Um hey, I'm not really hip to the whole 'using a forum' manners thing, but I'm hoping to make some LGBTQ writer friends, since my hetero pals have been a wee bit not cool recently. (One of them made a Rebecca Black Friday reference about me being bi, which was both simultaneously hilarious and the absolute last straw for my patience)

So, uh, can I sit at the cool kids table with y'all? I can provide snacks and mild-to-scintillating conversation.

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Welcome to the site!

that redhead said:

I finally did it--I broke up with my critique group!

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awesome!

edutton said:

Wow, best of luck to both of you!

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thank you!

their sister is visiting next week, so they're worrying about how to present. their parents are really oblivious, but their sister is their best friend. she'll notice right away. I think she's going to be good about it, as she's gotten angry at other people for being transphobic in the past... but people are hard to predict.

ladyfnick said:

Um hey, I'm not really hip to the whole 'using a forum' manners thing, but I'm hoping to make some LGBTQ writer friends, since my hetero pals have been a wee bit not cool recently. (One of them made a Rebecca Black Friday reference about me being bi, which was both simultaneously hilarious and the absolute last straw for my patience)

So, uh, can I sit at the cool kids table with y'all? I can provide snacks and mild-to-scintillating conversation.

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nice to meet you! only real forum manner you have to know is to be nice to people. but that's also just kind of normal manners hehe

there are a few messages written by mods on the main page that have rules, I think

ladyfnick said:

Um hey, I'm not really hip to the whole 'using a forum' manners thing, but I'm hoping to make some LGBTQ writer friends, since my hetero pals have been a wee bit not cool recently. (One of them made a Rebecca Black Friday reference about me being bi, which was both simultaneously hilarious and the absolute last straw for my patience)

So, uh, can I sit at the cool kids table with y'all? I can provide snacks and mild-to-scintillating conversation.

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Even our oldsters are cool.

*adjusts girdle*

Read your Welcome pack, and each forum "room" has a set of permanent (sticky) notices at the top of other threads. Read those as you get around.

*********

ION: Today New Jersey becomes the 11th state (+DC) to enact clear guidelines to protect/support transgender students. The history here.

ladyfnick said:

Um hey, I'm not really hip to the whole 'using a forum' manners thing, but I'm hoping to make some LGBTQ writer friends, since my hetero pals have been a wee bit not cool recently. (One of them made a Rebecca Black Friday reference about me being bi, which was both simultaneously hilarious and the absolute last straw for my patience)

So, uh, can I sit at the cool kids table with y'all? I can provide snacks and mild-to-scintillating conversation.

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Sure. As mentioned, please read the stickies at the top of every section you visit and/or set up camp in. (And kindergarten rules apply, as well: play nice, play fair, and share.)

So... Have you ever fallen in love with someone with an incompatible orientation?

Fairly common, I'd say. Chemical cascades and resultant feelings don't bother about all the real-world details about another person.

maxmordon said:

So... Have you ever fallen in love with someone with an incompatible orientation?

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thankfully, no, but I've fallen for people who didn't like me back. it's a rough place to be in. I'm sorry you're going through that