Oh man! That letter from the 'children's book' author had me in stitches. Although I was cringing through most of list (who on Earth are these people?!), it's super informative! Thanks for sharing!
29 ways NOT to submit to an agent
- Thread starter Old Hack
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Thanks for posting that article, it was hilarious! I can't imagine doing any of the odder things, but I know when people get desperate to be noticed they can do some crazy things.
I've read an anecdote from an editor who was approached while on vacation--inappropriate, of course, but still not as low as slipping something under the door of the bathroom!
Seriously. My fear is that for every hard working, aspiring writer who tries to act professional, there's one of these people. Scary stuff!
Number 6 is my favorite beef. A client who continues to revise a ms, even after it's been submitted to several editors, drives me mad.
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kinda sets one to thinking... Could a query letter be so bad that an agent just had to see the MS for a good laugh?
Not a goal I aspire to, BTW.
Not a goal I aspire to, BTW.
I think the right response would be to tear up the offering and flush it. If the writer was hanging around outside, you'd then say, pleasantly, "Oh, I took care of that thing for you."
Not putting any I.D. on an attached submission is a bad thing. Happens a lot. One more step for an agent to do before passing the ms on to readers.
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Precisely my thoughts.
I wonder how many queries are horrible or like this, and how many are just meh. Professional, clean, correctly done, but meh. Somehow it seems like the worst fate for a writer.
If you have a look at Slushkiller, on Making Light (I think there's a link in our Publishing Resources room) you'll find a breakdown of the problems usually found in the slush pile. It's very good.
It's all common sense. I can't even believe anyone would do the things she says not to do, but they must.
Exactly. Part of me suspects that the people who need this sort of article probably won't be the ones reading it...
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This is amusing, but does anyone know of a place where the stupid, unprofessional things agents do are listed?
#19 especially, but I read the entire list. Wow . . . persistence isn't always a good thing. Who follows someone into a bathroom? The only thing that might get you is a restraining order!
Here's a thread you might like.
You sound like you have a chip on your shoulder where agents are concerned.
Heh, I don't think I'd have considered doing any of those things, so I guess that puts me (and all of you) ahead on on a curve that I didn't even know existed!
A lot of them look to me like it's probably not net-savvy people submitting. Things like not having your own email address, for example, or thinking gimmicks are a good idea (because no one else has ever done that ever). Some will be the result of bad advice, but I think a lot are the result of guesswork because they don't even know what they need to look for to find any advice in the first place.
I'd add to that list, "Don't query until you've run your QL through the gauntlet, aka QLH." Doing so would probably make most (if not all) of those 'don'ts' moot.
Heck, maybe that s/b #1.
Hah! Yes. I'm guilty of this with five before my brain rapped some sense into me. Now I'm waiting patiently to put my QL through QLH and wincing when I get a form rejection.