NEPAT Overflow

James D Macdonald

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

Osama bin Laden hates America because he was turned down by PublishAmerica.

Osama has called out Willem Meiners: "Just you and me, baby. Mano a mano in Wahiristan. I'll show you what POD means: Pound On Dude."

To which Meiners (speaking through an interpreter) replied: "Bring it on."

The trouble began when Frederick, Maryland, based PublishAmerica turned down Osama's novel, Jihad Days and Kabul Nights in early 2000.

"That novel was horrible," says PA co-owner Miranda Prather. "No plot, flat characters, stiff dialog. If we published that gobbler Sominex would have gone out of business. Besides, since Osama was in hiding in a cave in Tora Bora he wouldn't have been able to do book signings, he'd already maxed out his credit card, and he refused to give us the addresses of 100 of his friends and associates."

Replies Osama, "Don't take that tone with me. I find your comments to be comedy. You are under a wide variety of misconceptions, and I will expect your apology. You're making a spectacle of yourself with this sort of language. "

Larry Clopper, speaking from an undisclosed location, commented: "I love the chicken wings here at Hooters."

More on this story as it develops.
 

rtilryarms

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

"I love the chicken wings here at Hooters."

Now you're exaggerating. No one really likes the Hooters' chicken wings, they just use the greasy sauce to hide the slobber.
 

LiamJackson

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

Hooters sells food? Who knew???
 

James D Macdonald

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

You may not believe this, but I've never been in a Hooters. Therefore you know that I am not Larry Clopper.
 

spooknov

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

LJ, you made me choke on my coffee...:ha
 

ChunkyC

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

I've never been in a Hooters
Better get prepared, Jim. Now that Pamela Anderson has written(?) a novel, Hooters might start hosting book signings.
 

rtilryarms

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

I was observing two Hooters waitresses in server's training. They were jogging to keep in shape. Curious, I watched and followed them. Soon, I was really getting into the concept of getting in shape in order to be a serving girl. I decided I too could be a Hooters' server. I mimicked them perfectly, stride for stride and hair wisp blow for blow. But when they stopped, I found I could not get the rhythm of their breathing.
I tried to pace their gasping but just could not match the beat.
I decided it was not worth trying to be a Hooter’s server because I just could not get into their...

... pants.
 

ChunkyC

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

:smack
lol.gif
 

absolutewrite

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

I second that :smack .
 

ChristinaAshbaugh

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

Poor Osama! He's hooked up to a dialysis machine in his little cave in Afghanstan and people just contine to make fun of him because of his turn down from PA. :)

You know, I betcha the villain here is George "Dubya" Bush. He was probably turned down by PublishAmerica too...after all, he can't conjuate the verb "to be" worth a darn and speaking tends to be a big problem for him. He's an IDIOT, too. Fueher...das ist ihn!!!!! (please, you needn't understand what I just said, lol, I don't even know if I spelled it right. My German is a sad story) Okay, I better shut up here or I'll be the villain. But what have I got to loose? The CIA is already on my tail, or so I'm thinkin' from my last encounter....

You guys know too much. ::SHUTTING UP!!!::

Off the soap box!
 

James D Macdonald

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

(Crawford, TX.) George W. Bush announced today that he has joined PublishAmerica's elite group of over 12,000 happy authors.

The President of the United States, speaking from his ranch in Crawford, Texas, made the announcement during a casual moment while mountain biking with his Secret Service escort.

"I'd always wanted to write a kid's book," Mr. Bush said, "and my wife, she's a children's librarian you know, when I showed her the manuscript for Gerry the 'Mander, she said it wasn't like anything she'd ever read."

Gerry the 'Mander is about a salamander who, after a series of adventures, becomes President of the United States and leader of the free world. " 'Mander, salamander, commander, get it?" Mr. Bush said in his off-the-cuff remarks.

"I read the contract carefully, or, I mean, Mr. Cheney did, and he said there wasn't anything unusual in it," Mr. Bush said. There was no problem supplying a list of 100 names of friends to PublishAmerica for their publicity campaign, he added: "I just gave them the names of all hundred members of the Senate. I know they'll want to buy lots of copies."

Mr. Bush is planning a multi-state tour when his book comes out. He looks forward to reading it to students in elementary schools across the nation.
 

rtilryarms

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

you have a career in curmudgeonism lol
 

DaveKuzminski

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

Can't you tell that James is trying to become Bush's Chief Toady of Curmudgeonism? ;)
 

absolutewrite

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

:rollin

Oh, I miss that smiley where he's laughing and pounding the table until he cries.

I am NOT adding new smileys until we make our Big Move, which, I might add, should happen in about 2 weeks.

We're moving from Ezboard to vBulletin unless anyone tells me horror stories between now and then.
 

ChunkyC

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

I like this one myself:
1.gif


Off to check out vBulletin....
 

ChunkyC

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

...okay, they have member custom avatars, so I'm in. (like I have a veto :b )
 

maestrowork

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

I like php based bulletins. I belong to a few. In many ways they are superior to ezBoard, which I think is very clunky. Admin functions are probably also better. The only drawback, I think, is that you need to have your own servers. The good thing is you have more control.
 

James D Macdonald

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

Will we keep the archives?
 

ChunkyC

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

Uncle Jim; I had a quick look at the features over at vBulletin and one is an import function, so we (I should say Jenna) should be able to transfer everything over.

But these are computers, so I'm jottin' down the link to my bookworm graphic, just in case.
 

ChunkyC

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

(This message was left blank)
 

aka eraser

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

What I'm wondering is if it's possible to leave this board intact, if not exactly operational, during the transfer, so that if the importation of the existing threads goes awry, we can try again. I guess that assumes that the importation involves copying and not removing.

I'm getting another headache now. Where's our techno-gurus to reassure us about this stuff?
 

maestrowork

Re: Who, exactly, is the villain here?

It's not a bad idea. But from my experience in IT, if you have parallel systems for deploy/transfer, it could get hairy really quickly. Issues such as when do you do a final cut off-- and what gets transfered and when, etc. Do we lock down the old site just for "viewing" purposes? New posts must go to the new site? What if the new site crashes or doesn't work...

I'm probably thinking way ahead. But these are the things to consider if we want to actually move everything to the new site while keeping AW operational.