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Thread: Make up an outrageous lie about the previous poster, part II

  1. #10276
    No, you're the grease monkey. Fruitbat's Avatar
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    ^Pinched her own ass, then filed a complaint. Life is fair.
    Last edited by Fruitbat; 09-10-2017 at 07:21 AM.
    Story Prompts That Work: 52 Detailed, Tested Story Starters for Short Stories and Flash Fiction (for Adults and Teens)
    https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_n...mpts+that+work

    Writing Flash Fiction: How to Write Very Short Stories and Get Them Published
    http://www.amazon.com/Writing-Flash-...0670797&sr=1-1

    Coffee House Lies: 100 Cups of Flash Fiction:
    http://www.amazon.com/Coffee-House-L...fee+house+lies

    Blog: http://carlyberg.com/

  2. #10277
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Great, now you guys started something, Fruitbat's in the begonias again, mooning me and singing, "Pinch my ass!" repeatedly.


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  3. #10278
    No, you're the grease monkey. Fruitbat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
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    Swinging from the tree tops
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    ^Covets his neighbor's ass.
    Story Prompts That Work: 52 Detailed, Tested Story Starters for Short Stories and Flash Fiction (for Adults and Teens)
    https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_n...mpts+that+work

    Writing Flash Fiction: How to Write Very Short Stories and Get Them Published
    http://www.amazon.com/Writing-Flash-...0670797&sr=1-1

    Coffee House Lies: 100 Cups of Flash Fiction:
    http://www.amazon.com/Coffee-House-L...fee+house+lies

    Blog: http://carlyberg.com/

  4. #10279
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Of course I do! Fruitbat's ass can pull a plow through three acres of rocky soil in a day. In a day!

    You'd covet that ass too. But she's not selling for anything, so I guess I'll just have to keep using my tractor.

    It really is an amazing ass though.
    Last edited by Drachen Jager; 09-10-2017 at 09:43 AM.


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  5. #10280
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    Mar 2017
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    ^Has a perpetual farmer's tan.
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  6. #10281
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Mary has a perpetual dominatrix tan (she wears that outfit ALL the time!).


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  7. #10282
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    ^Knows this because he is ALWAYS watching.
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  8. #10283
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Well of course I am! Mary Mitchell's a reverse cam-girl. She pays anonymous strangers to watch her over the internet.


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  9. #10284
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    ^Will apparently do anything if you pay him.
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  10. #10285
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Services rendered, no questions asked. That's why Mary pays me.


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  11. #10286
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    ^Thinks "magic beans" are legitimate currency.
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  12. #10287
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    ^ Had a little lamb, but it hasn't been seen since she served her guests roast mutton.


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  13. #10288
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Nymtoc sports a stylish pair of mutton chops. He refuses to let his wife trim them until they're crawling with maggots.


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  14. #10289
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    ^ Loves to talk about his many remarkable adventures and feats of derring-do. (Has a lot in common with Baron Münchhausen.)


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  15. #10290
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Nymtoc thinks Taco Bell is a phone company in Mexico.


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  16. #10291
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    ^Can't afford their long distance rates.
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  17. #10292
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Mary thinks the English Channel is another name for the BBC.


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  18. #10293
    "The Moving Finger writes..." M.S. Wiggins's Avatar
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    ^ Has a bat in his cave.
    "...and, having writ; Moves on..."

    The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
    Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
    Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
    For nothing now can ever come to any good. ~W.H. Auden


    Write,
    Always.
    Even if it's shit.
    Shit on a page is organic.
    A blank page is
    Inert.
    ~Wiggins
    MSusanneWiggins.com
    Twit Me

  19. #10294
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    M.S. Wiggins is lonely without her bat.


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  20. #10295
    "The Moving Finger writes..." M.S. Wiggins's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    Charleston, SC
    Posts
    2,582
    ^ Alone in a crowd.
    "...and, having writ; Moves on..."

    The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
    Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
    Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
    For nothing now can ever come to any good. ~W.H. Auden


    Write,
    Always.
    Even if it's shit.
    Shit on a page is organic.
    A blank page is
    Inert.
    ~Wiggins
    MSusanneWiggins.com
    Twit Me

  21. #10296
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Many people think the famous "Wilhelm" scream (which is in just about every movie) is the same recording over and over, but in reality, M.S. Wiggins makes a tidy living doing it fresh every time it's needed. Sadly, years of this performance have left her unable to speak in any other tone.


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  22. #10297
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    ^Has small feet and a large truck.
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  23. #10298
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Mary needed a password eight characters long for her AW account, so she chose, "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves".


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  24. #10299
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    ^Saves money on colored outdoor holiday lighting by feeding his yard unicorns radioactive beans throughout December.
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  25. #10300
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    I met with Mary yesterday for coffee. She told me she bought a new crotch rocket. So I asked if she meant one of those racing motorcycles. She said, "nope" with a gleam in her eye. I did my best to let the subject drop in spite of continued prodding from her. As much as I'm curious, I'm pretty sure I don't want to know.


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

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