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Thread: Homeless, hatchet-wielding hitchhiker is a hero... and one of my new favorite musicians.

  1. #1
    Is me. Monkey's Avatar
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    Homeless, hatchet-wielding hitchhiker is a hero... and one of my new favorite musicians.

    Language warning. NSFW.

    Just came across this, and I can't believe I didn't see it before. Here's an interview with Kai, a hitchhiker who just happened to hitch a ride with a man who was about to lose it. The driver first confessed to Kai that he'd once raped a fourteen-year-old, then claimed to be Jesus and hit a pedestrian with his car. Kai, worried that the pedestrian had internal injuries and would die if the car were moved, took the driver's keys and tossed them out of the car. Meanwhile, two women had run up to help the pinned pedestrian... and the driver got out and attacked them.

    At that point, Kai had had enough. "If you're Jesus," he told the man, "I'll be your anti-Christ." He hit him in the head with a hatchet he'd been carrying, stopping the attack. Kai is now credited with saving more than one life that day.

    Okay. So that's the story. Here's the update:

    The news station that originally interviewed Kai went to do a follow-up on him. Kai brought them into a music shop, took down an acoustic guitar, and proceeded to perform an original song that blows away a good portion of what's on the radio today. One guy, with no harmony or back up. No studio. A guitar right off the shelf. Original lyrics. No special lighting, no rehearsals. And he nailed it. I would totally jam to this during a training session or riding in my car.

    I have a feeling we haven't heard the last from Kai. I hope not. I'd really like to see where this story goes from here.
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  2. #2
    The colors! THE COLORS! leahzero's Avatar
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    Shades of Antoine Dodson?

    This guy is a hero. And that song was damn catchy.
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  3. #3
    The colors! THE COLORS! leahzero's Avatar
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    And, of course, the autotuned version of the story:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?featur...&v=wDQTvuP1Dgs
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  5. #5
    Is me. Monkey's Avatar
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    Yeah, I loved that on the Colbert Report.
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  7. #7
    Vengeful Crystaline Hawk 45C AW Moderator Zoombie's Avatar
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    Hmm...

    We should make a movie!

    We can call it...

    Hobo With A Shotgun 2: Hobo with a Hatchet
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  8. #8
    All Living is Local Don's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoombie View Post
    Hmm...

    We should make a movie!

    We can call it...

    Hobo With A Shotgun 2: Hobo with a Hatchet
    No, no, no. You can't do that. The firearm in the prequel sullies the pristine goodness of the concern for others and manual dexterity demonstrated by our hapless homeless hero in this particular episode.

    Protecting others with hatchet, good.

    Protecting others with handgun, bad.

    I'd love to see the take in this thread if our hapless homeless hero had been packing heat and a CCW permit.
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  9. #9
    Joker Groupie Celia Cyanide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    No, no, no. You can't do that. The firearm in the prequel sullies the pristine goodness of the concern for others and manual dexterity demonstrated by our hapless homeless hero in this particular episode.

    Protecting others with hatchet, good.

    Protecting others with handgun, bad..
    Who protected anybody else with a handgun in that OP? I only heard about a guy claiming he would, and a bunch of people carrying them for no reason.

    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    I'd love to see the take in this thread if our hapless homeless hero had been packing heat and a CCW permit.
    I dunno. All I know is not that great, and it reminds me of some mediocre band like Train.
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  10. #10
    Vengeful Crystaline Hawk 45C AW Moderator Zoombie's Avatar
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    Man, you can't make a reference to a Troma-esque movie without it being politizised these days...
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  11. #11
    Is me. Monkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    No, no, no. You can't do that. The firearm in the prequel sullies the pristine goodness of the concern for others and manual dexterity demonstrated by our hapless homeless hero in this particular episode.

    Protecting others with hatchet, good.

    Protecting others with handgun, bad.

    I'd love to see the take in this thread if our hapless homeless hero had been packing heat and a CCW permit.
    Actually, I would have been fine with him using a handgun, too... but yeah, I am more comfortable with the fact that a hatchet was used. A hatchet has many purposes besides killing stuff, and the hitchhiker in this story wasn't carrying it as a killing tool. Not that that matters, really, but it makes me feel better about the hitchhiker.

    Here's the issue that actually matters: the driver who went mad was in actual physical conflict with the woman he was attacking, and two other people - one wounded - were about arm's reach away at the time. Shooting a gun into that would have been reckless and could have easily led to the death of innocents. In fact, even if Kai had had a gun, it probably would not have been the best choice of tools for the given situation.

    An interesting "what if" can be gleaned from this, though. What if Kai had shot the man - successfully, quickly, and without unintended consequence? My guess is that gun supporters would hail this as an example of why everyone needs guns. The hatchet would probably have never even been thought of... but because Kai didn't have that gun, we all know quite well that one wasn't actually necessary in that situation. And, of course, in this scenario, we're assuming that no bullets missed, traveled through the attacker, or otherwise ended up going anywhere except exactly where they were intended.
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  12. #12
    Joker Groupie Celia Cyanide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Monkey View Post
    An interesting "what if" can be gleaned from this, though. What if Kai had shot the man - successfully, quickly, and without unintended consequence?
    Indeed, that would have been good, too. He saved someone's life. I still wouldn't be comfortable around people I don't know carrying guns. I don't think I would be comfortable picking up a hitchhiker at all. Thankfully, this psychopath was.
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  13. #13
    no, YOU shut up. Absolute Sage William Haskins's Avatar
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    hooray for internet heroes, except...

    maybe he was a little too good at inflicting blunt force trauma:

    CLARK, N.J. (WABC) -- Authorities in Union County have issued an arrest warrant for internet celebrity "Kai the hatchet wielding hitchhiker" in the murder of Joseph Galfy, Jr. in Clark, New Jersey.

    The suspect is identified as Caleb Lawrence McGillvary, a 34-year-old Internet celebrity and is well known on Facebook and YouTube as "Kai the Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker."

    McGillvary is homeless but considers himself "homefree" and relies on the generosity of strangers for food, lodging and transportation.

    He is also known as Kai Lawrence, Caleb Kai Lawrence and Kai Nicodemus.

    The victim, Joseph Galfy, was found inside his home on Starlite Drive on May 13, 2013 after officers received a call to check on his well-being.

    An autopsy performed the following day determined that Galfy died as a result of blunt force trauma, said Union County Prosecutor Theodore J. Romankow.
    http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?se...sey&id=9104988

    might be time to find another hero of the week, kiddies.

  14. #14
    I Pride with my Grandson! KTC's Avatar
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    Yikes!
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  15. #15
    "Upgrade your gray matter"- Deltron AW Moderator Jcomp's Avatar
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    Yet another story about a hatchet-wielding hitchiker that might not have a happy ending after all. It's uncanny, really...

  16. #16
    no, YOU shut up. Absolute Sage William Haskins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Monkey View Post
    I have a feeling we haven't heard the last from Kai. I hope not. I'd really like to see where this story goes from here.
    now you know...

  17. #17
    Is me. Monkey's Avatar
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    I do have to wonder what the circumstances are, and why Kai is a suspect.
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  18. #18
    Benefactor Member dfwtinman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Monkey View Post
    I do have to wonder what the circumstances are, and why Kai is a suspect.
    Apparently, the killer left a message scrawled on a wall: "Yo, f'ing Dude was f'ing tripping, so I f'ing wasted his knarly ass. Peace out, yo."
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  19. #19
    no, YOU shut up. Absolute Sage William Haskins's Avatar
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    Authorities have arrested the internet celebrity known as "Kai the Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker," in connection with the murder of a New Jersey lawyer.

    Caleb Lawrence McGillvary, who received the nickname because he used a hatchet to subdue a man who ran over a California utility worker, was arrested at a Greyhound Bus terminal in Philadelphia, police said.

    Officials believe McGillvary, 24, killed Joseph Galfy, who was found in his Clark, N.J. home on Monday, dead of blunt force trauma. Prosecutors say Galfy met McGillvary in Times Square Saturday night, and brought him back to his house to spend the night.

    They say they believe the two men had a sexual encounter.

    Authorities said McGillvary, who has appeared on "Jimmy Kimmel Live," pondered on his Facebook page Tuesday the idea of waking up in a stranger's house with a groggy head and injuries, and the realization of being drugged and raped. "What would you do?" he wrote, according to officials.


    http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local...207727121.html

  20. #20
    Clever User Title Mara's Avatar
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    The world these days. If you can't trust a hatchet-wielding hitchhiker, who can you trust, really?

    Well, at least I've got my neighbor to look up to. I don't know him that well, but he seems like a cool guy. A little shy, though, which is probably why he's always wearing that leather mask. He works for the logging industry, I think. Well, he's always carrying a chainsaw, anyway.
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  21. #21
    Grand Duchess Ambrosia's Avatar
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    If the lawyer did indeed drug and rape him, I think the lawyer got exactly what he deserved.

    I hope Kai gets a decent defense attorney to represent him. Being homeless and with no financial resources I doubt that will be the case.
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  22. #22
    Benefactor Member dfwtinman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ambrosia View Post
    I hope Kai gets a decent defense attorney to represent him. Being homeless and with no financial resources I doubt that will be the case.
    I'm not so sure he won't get a decent lawyer. He's isn't just homeless, he's famous. A fair number of criminal defense lawyers love to take on high profile cases.
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  23. #23
    Lost in the Fog rugcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ambrosia View Post
    If the lawyer did indeed drug and rape him, I think the lawyer got exactly what he deserved.
    It's not an uncommon defense used by those who kill people while drunk.

    Especially when it's same sex (male) encounters.

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  24. #24
    Delerium ex Ennui Xelebes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mara View Post
    The world these days. If you can't trust a hatchet-wielding hitchhiker, who can you trust, really?

    Well, at least I've got my neighbor to look up to. I don't know him that well, but he seems like a cool guy. A little shy, though, which is probably why he's always wearing that leather mask. He works for the logging industry, I think. Well, he's always carrying a chainsaw, anyway.
    His choice to play Penderecki all the time is a bit strange but I can live with it.

  25. #25
    Benefactor Member dfwtinman's Avatar
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    At the 2:50 mark the interviewer asks: "You ever experience anything like that Kia?" (i.e., anything similar).

    Kai responds with a story about being in an orchard and, upon seeing this "f'ing guy beating on this woman" he "walked on over and started smashing him in the head...and busting out all his teeth."

    He seems to say the officers who responded to this prior incident "winkingly" accepted a fake name and birthday from him (3:10-3:25).

    I realize he is living a rather high risk lifestyle, but he is also rather comfortable talking about smashing people about the head.

    Not that it is determinitive, but the deceased in this lastest head bashing incident was 73 years old.
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