Stuck

Papaya · Jan 27, 2013

Awwww, thanks for the group hug and the warm wishes. You all are great!

Jamesaritchie said:
Whatever the fight was really about, you're thirty-two, not thirteen. Get on with your own life and let your father be who he is and what he is. Every minute you spend worrying about ho whe treats you is a minute you've wasted. Life is short, and you can't waste any of it. He is who he is, and that's enough.

If only life were that simple. I would prefer to end this thread on a happy note, so please refrain from commenting further. You don't know anything about me or my life, and your condescending response is not helpful.

BethS · Jan 27, 2013

Here's one more!

I sympathize. It's hurtful, what you're going through.

But JAR is right - your father is who he is. It's not your fault and you can't change him.

Meanwhile, I imagine that this misunderstanding has not kept you from doing other other needful or fun things in your life. So it doesn't have to keep you from writing either.

NeuroFizz · Jan 27, 2013

Good luck, Papaya. I hope you can find your writing rhythm again. Writing, and finding the time and energy to write, is tough enough without the emotions of family drama. Just remember that we are at a disadvantage when we give our advice. We can only go by the words you put in your original and subsequent posts, so we may miss the mark. And if we do post, we are just trying to help, so what might seem condescending may just be a strongly-stated opinion meant to help, not hurt.

And you are absolutely right. We know nothing about your life. But you have given us a small window into it, and any misinterpretation could be due to how you presented that window.

One final comment, which is not meant to be a criticism, but a heads-up on the community here. You can't tell anyone to refrain from further posting. The person who starts a thread does not own it, and anyone here is allowed to respond.

Please accept my hug as well. I hope you find your happiness.

Buffysquirrel · Jan 27, 2013

Missed the group hug. Y'all are prejudiced against squirrels.

Papaya · Jan 29, 2013

Thank you all for the help. All of your advice, support and sympathy has made a big difference in pushing past this block.

@ Buffysquirrel - Thanks for the laugh! You are officially included in our group hug. There will be no prejudice of squirrels on my watch!

NeuroFizz said:
Good luck, Papaya. I hope you can find your writing rhythm again. Writing, and finding the time and energy to write, is tough enough without the emotions of family drama. Just remember that we are at a disadvantage when we give our advice. We can only go by the words you put in your original and subsequent posts, so we may miss the mark. And if we do post, we are just trying to help, so what might seem condescending may just be a strongly-stated opinion meant to help, not hurt.

And you are absolutely right. We know nothing about your life. But you have given us a small window into it, and any misinterpretation could be due to how you presented that window.

One final comment, which is not meant to be a criticism, but a heads-up on the community here. You can't tell anyone to refrain from further posting. The person who starts a thread does not own it, and anyone here is allowed to respond.

Please accept my hug as well. I hope you find your happiness.

Thank you for taking the time to say this, and I gratefully accept and return your hug. The poster who started the comment saying I was 32 and not 13 did feel condescending, and I was only asking him not to comment further. I understand I don't actually have any control, but I appreciate that he chose to drop out of the conversation. Ultimately, it was my choice to post about such a sensitive topic, and I will remember that in the future. The good news is that this was just the catalyst I needed to get inspired to write again, so I have absolutely no regrets.

Buffysquirrel · Jan 29, 2013

Sqrls just want equality hugs.

DanielaTorre · Jan 29, 2013

Am I the only one who suggests he write out of anger and frustration? Like, sit down, think of how hurt and angry you are and write the best damn book in literary existence so that if you get it published, everyone will read it except your dad and then people will be asking him why he's being a dick and how he's missing out on your brilliance thus making him the pariah eventually leaving him to finally read it and apologize to you because it is the best book in literary existence and that you are a wonderful, brilliant person? *Gulps in air*

If nothing else works, write to prove him wrong. This angers me to no extent.

NeuroFizz · Jan 29, 2013

...and won't he be sorry when you come home blind from him making you put Lifebuoy soap in your mouth so many times...

Seriously, I can understand using the frustration/anger as a motivating tool, but let your achievements power your sense of personal accomplishment rather than any type of revenge. What happens in your writing from here on out should be about you and your creativity, not about your familial relationships. This doesn't rule out pulling pieces from your experience to express that creativity.

mccardey · Jan 29, 2013

DanielaTorre said:
If nothing else works, write to prove him wrong. This angers me to no extent.

But - what's to get angry about?

Papaya · Feb 3, 2013

I'm happy to report I'm working on my book again, thanks in large part to all of you! :hooray:

I'm actually excited to be crawling back into my novel...even the beginning. I am so grateful for all of your help!

DanielaTorre · Feb 3, 2013

Papaya said:
I'm happy to report I'm working on my book again, thanks in large part to all of you!

I'm actually excited to be crawling back into my novel...even the beginning. I am so grateful for all of your help!

Whooohoooo Papaya!!!!! :snoopy:

Seriously, don't ever let anyone get you down.

bearilou · Feb 3, 2013

Papaya said:
I'm happy to report I'm working on my book again, thanks in large part to all of you!

I'm actually excited to be crawling back into my novel...even the beginning. I am so grateful for all of your help!

etcetc · Feb 3, 2013

mccardey · Feb 3, 2013

shroud · Apr 26, 2013

Put it down and walk away, at least for a time. Family members might be good betas, or they might not. Though they care about you, they may not be interested in taking on this role. No problem.

Bufty · Apr 26, 2013

Shroud- why are you reviving old threads?

shroud said:
Put it down and walk away, at least for a time. Family members might be good betas, or they might not. Though they care about you, they may not be interested in taking on this role. No problem.

michaelmoody · Apr 26, 2013

WillSauger said:
And in the end, not writing isn't going to do anything. Writing does a lot. Some people find writing therapeutic, as I do.

So, get to writing.

Agree 100%.

Stuck

Papaya

Unfold your own myth. - Rumi

BethS

NeuroFizz

The grad students did it

Buffysquirrel

Papaya

Unfold your own myth. - Rumi

Buffysquirrel

DanielaTorre

...

NeuroFizz

The grad students did it

mccardey

Papaya

Unfold your own myth. - Rumi

DanielaTorre

...

bearilou

DenturePunk writer

etcetc

mccardey

shroud

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

michaelmoody

New Days Dawn, Let's Start the Game