The No News is No News Purgatory Thread, Volume 8

Maryn said:

I have my own little bit of diet-y food porn. I've spent the last half-hour reading recipes for stuffed portobello mushrooms and think I've now gleaned enough to cobble together a recipe making them practically 'free' in terms of calories and such, just a bunch of veggies, vinegar, a bit of fat-free cheese, and a sprinkle of panko.

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Blech! Mushrooms - you can have 'em. My general rule of thumb - never eat anything that grows in the dark. (I can't remember if I've shared that tidbit of wisdom with you before.)


Kris - Yay! for meeting deadlines, even if it took a coffee IV.

Maryn - I forgot to mention - I love your new soggy! siggy! (Damn auto spell)

(((Snappy))) for the killer (in a bad way) day job.

(((Lisa))) for the bad review. Hey - you're a NYT bestselling author. Tell 'em to stuff it. Besides, the worse the reviews, the more of your books Kris will buy.

(((Kimmi))) Kiddo #2 had to take a p0rn class in college. I still can't rationalize why, since she's a K-4 Education major. You have to wonder what goes through the minds of some of these professors and administrators.

(((Becky))) for the blown tire. Glad you're all right.

Kris said:

anyway, giant glass of wine for you. *pours*
*and pours and pours and pours*
*and pours*

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WOOHOO! * spins Lisa in the body shot chair *

Rick, the review was minor. It was just sort of fitting in with the general theme of my day.

Thanks, Rick. And everything Kris and Haupe said to OL. {{{OL}}}

Guy at the dealership just came over with the thing that went through the wheel - a piece of someone's trailor hitch. (Think bent iron bar about 1/2" in diameter and 4" long). No wonder it was loud...

callalily61 said:

*grabs cookie*

So that Coldstone Creamery ice cream cake? Don't bother. For the money, I expected the angels to sing at the first bite. What I tasted was... an ice cream cake. Eh. Carvel is just as good.

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D. got me a chocolate-chocolate-chocolate Coldstone cake for my last b-day that was really good. Haven't bothered with other flavors.

Speaking of pig 0rgasms...did you know that in ag businesses breeding pigs to improve the species for meat, that they actually hire someone to grunt and squeal at the boar? In other words, talk dirty to him? Because it actually excites them?

I am not in any way shape or form kidding. I stumbled across this researching factory farming and used it in a teleplay once.

*big squishy hugs for OL*

callalily61 said:

Pig verbal foreplay. Awesome.

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Ahhh. This must be Purgatory on the Friday before a long weekend.

Yeah, and it was in this article where they were talking about creating leaner, bigger pigs -- "Michael Jordan's as opposed to John Belushi's." And the Pig er, Whisperer had this great line about how she saw her work like...oh what was it? A nurse, or something.

I should also say, life's not totally craptacular. So far, at least, I'm healthy. I no longer take that for granted. I really do work with amazing people, and I have an amazing family and friends. Just going through a rough patch, is all.

Just finished a mass of grading! Party party party. Now on to writing lectures!

Rick said:

Anyone got big plans for the weekend?

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Glad Outlook came back! My plans are house-related, too! Actually, I'm having a busy social weekend. Considering the last few weekends have been spent 1) working on my house or 2) moping about my cat, I'm excited to see friends. I do have to do some sanding on the new kitchen walls and prime them, though. Bleh. So sick of looking at the bare drywall.

Maryn, I agree with Blond. Your sig is smokin' hot now.

Blond, yay!!! about the ring down payment. : D

Kris, enjoy your champagne, cake, and GoT!!

LRB, that is so unbelievably inappropriate. Maryn's advice was what I would suggest, too. Document everything so the prof can't come back and say you're talking out of context. I myself have taught and some of my friends have taught classes about sexuality. There is a right way to handle sexually explicit material in the classroom and a wrong way. Sounds like this guy is just a creeper with a syllabus.

Rab, sorry about the tire drama! Yeesh, what caused it.

(((OL))) Hope the patch smooths out soon.

Maryn said:

Better through the tire than the windshield, yes? And you with your tire insurance, too!

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My thoughts exactly. This could have turned out horribly. I heard about something similar a few years ago - a steel rod was run over by an 18-wheeler, and the rod got picked up and flung backward by one of the double tires, and it went through the windshield of the car behind the truck and right through the guy's head. * shudders *

OL said:

Speaking of pig 0rgasms...did you know that in ag businesses breeding pigs to improve the species for meat, that they actually hire someone to grunt and squeal at the boar? In other words, talk dirty to him? Because it actually excites them?

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Reminds me of the quote in Deliverance - Squeal like a pig! I guess pig squeals excite more than just pigs.

(((Lisa))) Hang in there. We all go through rough patches.

Just checking in with a little Thing That's Cool about G0T. Please stop me if this gets annoying, I know I'm watching a 3-year-old show for the first time and that it's old hat to everyone but me, but isn't it cool how they make all the clothes look so old and used and dirty? Okay, I can't figure a way to say it that doesn't make it sound dumb, but the attention to detail is something else!

ETA: old hat...hahahaha... *sigh*

OMG, in my wallow of despair, I missed RAB's post the first time around. Yes, MUCH better that it was only your tire!

And, Blonde...I am genuinely, truly, really thrilled and happy for you and JL.

Rick said:

My thoughts exactly. This could have turned out horribly. I heard about something similar a few years ago - a steel rod was run over by an 18-wheeler, and the rod got picked up and flung backward by one of the double tires, and it went through the windshield of the car behind the truck and right through the guy's head. * shudders *

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Lol, thanks - I wasn't paranoid about what happened until now... (fwiw, I was only going about 20, and was turning off the road, but that stretch of road is normally a 60+ speedway. )

For unrelated reasons, all those in need of a Friday pick-up, I'm setting up the bar in the corner. Drinks and crash-pad pillows are on me.

callalily61 said:

Pig verbal foreplay. Awesome.

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Um.

...I don't want to know, do I?

Must be Friday.

Hi everyone!

Question I'm hoping the creativity of Purgatory can help me with: So, my book weighed in originally at 384 pages. With the addition of the reader's guide, the binders have to bump it up to 400. Right now there are 7 blank pages at the end, and my editor wants to fill them. What she's requested I fill them with is an "author interview." IE I think of a bunch of questions about myself and answer them.

As much as I love talking about myself, I hate crap like this. No offense to authors in general, but when I read a good book the last thing I want to know about is the boring schlub who wrote it.

My first desire would be to cut the reader guide out and eliminate the problem altogether, but I don't think anybody is gonna go for that. My husband has suggested maybe I stick a short story in, but I only have like two days to get this together and I don't have anything that short in my files. He also suggested doing an obviously fake, silly interview with absurd questions, but... I suck at humor. Or, rather, it takes me a really long time to craft.

Can anyone think of anything else? HHHHHAAAAALP!

Kris said:

Just checking in with a little Thing That's Cool about G0T. Please stop me if this gets annoying, I know I'm watching a 3-year-old show for the first time and that it's old hat to everyone but me, but isn't it cool how they make all the clothes look so old and used and dirty? Okay, I can't figure a way to say it that doesn't make it sound dumb, but the attention to detail is something else!

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The "used universe" feel. (A term often applied to the original Star Wars movies.) Yes, everything feels so authentic and visceral. Love it. I'm over here counting the days until the next season. Can't wait!

Kris said:

Just checking in with a little Thing That's Cool about G0T. Please stop me if this gets annoying, I know I'm watching a 3-year-old show for the first time and that it's old hat to everyone but me, but isn't it cool how they make all the clothes look so old and used and dirty? Okay, I can't figure a way to say it that doesn't make it sound dumb, but the attention to detail is something else!

ETA: old hat...hahahaha... *sigh*

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When I was in college, I worked in the wardrobe department of our theater company. I briefly considered getting into costuming for television and film. It's fascinating stuff and I really enjoyed helping with the plays. "Distressing" the items was my favorite part. You have to be super-particular about what you use and how you do it. I never worked on anything like this, but I'm so fascinated in movies when you have a garment that is aging or wearing, and how the costumer does that uniformly. Like, starting with fifteen of the same dresses, and distressing the dress to show a month of wear in the forest, two months, damage after that big fight, etc.

JoNightshade said:

As much as I love talking about myself, I hate crap like this. No offense to authors in general, but when I read a good book the last thing I want to know about is the boring schlub who wrote it.

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I get interested in the research that went into the book, where the idea came from, what parts of the book were shamelessly plundered from real-life, etc.

OMG, thanks for the ideas guys. I think it just hit me.

For years I've been wanting to collect, just for myself, just some of the little vignettes and stories of people in my home town (where the novel takes place). Each one would be like a paragraph about a person or an event, not necessarily all true, but just what came to me as a child as stories I grew up with.

Is that cool or dumb?

Well, most of them are dead or mentally incapacitated at this point. I was just gonna use first names.

Whelp, I haven't read your book, but a few more ideas:
*character sketches
*the reason you wrote this book
*recipes cooked in the book--you'd have to watch permissions
*a crossword puzzle using references from the book--people who solve it can somehow be given access to a special page on your site (stealing from a smart idea phoenix used)
*a list of references related to the subject matter or themes in the book

callalily61 said:

Pig verbal foreplay. Awesome.

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This is the best thing I've ever read in here.

Three days of stability. We are on a roll....

Sitting at the Writer's Place waiting for an open mic night poetry reading to start. It's called "St. Valentine's Day Massacre Poetry Open mic" theme love poems, poems about lost loves, poems about hating love, angry poems about valentine's day, poems about exes...... Should be an interesting night.