The No News is No News Purgatory Thread, Volume 8

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Haupe

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(((vfury))) My first job as a doctor was with an abusive male. At the time I was overwhelmed with my new responsibilities, and I couldn't see the forest for the trees. It took too long for my female partner and I to develop ladyballs, but when we did, we never looked back. I'd suggest you and M find another place to rent then give your landlord an ultimatum, assuming you want to remain in your present location. Either his son leaves or you both do on the same day. In some ways, if you're going to worry about him having continued access to the house even after he vacates, you might be better to simply leave. Either way, do NOT take on guilt/shame/smallness about this. I agree 100% that he is abusive and won't change.

ETA: I joined that practice because one owner was a good man. He's been my preceptor. When he was around, the abusive guy, with the Napoleonic complex, was docile and respectful. But he'd driven out many people before me, and many after. I never spoke about what he did in public, but my new partners figured out his game quite fast when we had to share a call group. (One said of him, "XX only proves that a bad sh*t always floats to the top.")

Also, this guy had reason to be depressed in that he drove away all reasonable people and intimidated the rest. He was feared, not loved or admired. But again, this is classic abuser dynamics. Bully people > feel bad > short-term reformed behavior > escalate the cycle. Doesn't excuse their behavior.
 
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Rick

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(((Fury))) I'm not good at giving advice, but it seems the only solution is to separate landlord's son from you and M. Talk to the landlord, and if he doesn't agree to move the son out, it sounds like you and M will have to. You need peace of mind, and living with him doesn't seem like a viable solution.

Cindy - loved the photos! Looks like you had a great time at the retreat.

Maryn - thanks for the cord tidbit. Let me know what Kid Two says, and in the meantime I'll see what I can dig up on the internet.

Uuuugh! Kiddo's team is in 4th place after today's competition (out of 9 teams in their Level/Age/Size group). They compete again tomorrow but they've got some ground to make up.

BTW - does anyone do Google +? Is it worthwhile from a BSP (Blatant Self Promotion) aspect to get one set up? I poked around today, but it seems I can create one only with my Google email account (which is a pretty funky name since my real name is already taken). Is there a way to create a Google + account with your plain name, like in Facebook?
 

Haupe

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Google Plus--you can change your displayed username, though you'll still end up with a number soup for your url.

It's most popular with males and techies, so I'd say you'd do better than me, for instance, WRT it's importance. Most significant aspect of it is that it moves your blog up in Google's ranking, so if you plan to keep a blog, then you should if only for that. You could share technical articles on defense and I bet that would go over better on G+ than on FB or Twitter. I'm totally guessing, but yes, Rick, I'd go for it.

ETA: Beautiful pix, X-Cin.
 

Dragonstar

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Welcome Aardvark.

VFury...what everyone else said.

X-Cin gorgeous pics as always.

Rick, I do Google +. It's also very popular with the gaming crowd and fantasy groups. I repped you about my communities, but I joined some writing ones and even mod one. (in addition to the ones I have for gaming and for the podcast, which I also either own or mod).

Tired today and not feeling all that well, but I got a bunch of stuff done this morning re: my media kit. Now I'm just waiting to hear when my cover art and formatted ARCs will be ready. :) DID YOU SEE THAT????????????? I'm going to get ARCs!!! Probably only e versions, but who cares, right?

Question: how many print books should I take to the release parties and such? I don't want to take too many, but don't want to run out and I have a tendency to do more than I should. Guidance? Oh the release party where I teach, there will be donations to the students for every book purchased and I'm giving away a $25 gift card.

No matter the number, I see a book fort in my future.
 

xiaotien

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dragon, it absolutely depends on how
many people you expect to be attending?

i'd personally bring at least 25 copies, and
up to 40 depending on if you have friends
or family who will buy multiple copies?

congrats on ARCs soon. so exciting!
 

JoNightshade

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Just got back from the New Years' street fair in Chinatown. Log onto facebook only to realize I must have literally walked right past Lisa in the crowd. Doh!!!

I was hoping for street food, but alas, the most prominent booths were big companies (like banks and coke and mcd's) with long lines of people waiting to spin a little roulette wheel for worthless prizes (most often a small reusable grocery bag). Couldn't quite figure that one out. On the other hand, I found my first clothing purchase for the new baby: a little hat with the traditional Chinese toy lion face. I actually have little matching booties that were for Sharkbite, but I forgot about them until he was too big! So. I will not forget this time.
 

raburrell

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I'm kinda late and can't add anything beyond what others, especially Haupe, have said, so I will just give you more hugs, vfury :( {{{{{{{{{{{you}}}}}}}}}}}}}. Take care of yourself please.
 

charmingbillie

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*runs in*

W!DE 0PEN is on the Stoker final ballot!!!!

*runs back up the thread to see what everyone else is up to*
 

JoNightshade

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*runs in*

W!DE 0PEN is on the Stoker final ballot!!!!

*runs back up the thread to see what everyone else is up to*

Wooooo! Congrats!!!!

Also, just read back myself. vfury, yikes! Is there someone you could stay with for a bit until you get this sorted out? Honestly I am wondering if there's some city/civic organization you could appeal to... even if your rooms are rented separately it can't be okay for the landlord to place you with someone unsafe. Even if it's their son. Ugh.
 

charmingbillie

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Thanks! I had convinced myself that it wouldn't be so...nice surprise this afternoon.

Repped as I went, but vfury, I'm SO sorry you're dealing with that! When home isn't where you want to be, it's hard not to be stressed and down.

Rick, I have a Google+ account, but don't hang out there much. On the other hand, I'm the world's worst self-promoter, so you may not want to pay attention to me.
 

Rick

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WOOHOO Billie! Good luck!

Thanks everyone for the Google+ info.
 

Leanan-Sidhe

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Congratulations, Billie!!!
congratualtions.gif


(((((vfury))))) That sounds like an absolute nightmare. I hope you can either move out or get him out soon.

Welcome, Aardvark. :welcome:
 

Dragonstar

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Yay, Billie!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :snoopy:

No pics yet, Ms. Lily. But soon. The time is flying by!
 

K. Taylor

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VFury - if he makes you feel uncomfortable to the point of not feeling safe, especially when he starts screaming at you, call the police. He's pushing you around because you're female, so build a case against his ass.
 

OL

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WHOOO HOOO, BILLIE!!!

VFury, I think everyone has given you great advice. Bottom line is, home should be a refuge, not a battleground.

Dragon, I second the request for a BOOK FORT when the time comes!

Yeah, I went to an MWA event around noon, hung out and had coffee with a friend, then wandered around Chinatown. I agree with Jo, the street fair was disappointing, though I did buy some Forever New Year stamps. I ended up having a beer and a snack at the Comstock Saloon, a cool old place. After that I figured out where I could have had Chinese food, dammit! Basically the block of Kearney by Columbus, across from the Zoetrope Building, there's a bunch of restaurants, one of which looked quite intriguing from the reviews in the window. Next time...

I have to write a blog post (and I think I will write about the parade, cause i'm too tired to put a lot of thought into it right now), but the conversation I had with my friend really reinforced some things we've been discussing about agents and that I have been thinking about. This agent did make a deal for the friend, but the communication has been just awful. It's hard to tell how the agent is, otherwise, because of the poor communication, and there's just no excuse for it. There seem to be so many agents with this issue, and I just don't get it.

NB always used to say that the wrong agent was worse than no agent. I used to wonder about that, but upon further reflection and experience, I think he's right.

I'm in a number of different author groups, including one 50 person group of published authors. By "published" I mean traditionally published, though some have hybrid careers, and one was an early SP pioneer. The majority of members of this group are successful by most metrics. You have bestsellers, you have critically well-reviewed, you have consistent producers who sell regularly. The one thing that almost every member of this group has in common: good agents. And they have expectations of what their agents should do for them, how the agents should conduct their business, and when someone reports a story where the agent's communication is maybe not what it should be, the response across the board is, "you need to have a talk to make sure that doesn't happen again." One member who was having more serious issues reported those, and the response was, "You need to find another agent."

So, do these authors have good agents at least in part because they are successful, or are they at least in part successful because they have good agents?

I know that authors can overcome bad agenting, but I do think that it can really slow down the development of the author's career. Which is kind of a "duh!" statement. By the same token, it seems clear to me that a good agent has a positive impact on an author's career. Also a "Duh!" statement. But I look at this particular group of successful authors, and yeah, I don't think it's a coincidence that they have good agents.

This does not sound nearly as profound as it did in my head while I was thinking it.

I don't know what you do about the fact that there are so many mediocre agents out there, and that the only way to find this out seems to be through the grapevine or through direct experience.
 

JoNightshade

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Lisa, did you see the restaurant where Obama had lunch? You can tell because they have about 50 photos of him pasted up in the windows. ;)

You reminded me of something I was gonna say about agents, and it had slipped my mind. Mine is apparently kind of known for saying this up front - the publishing world is changing, and authors are no longer dependent upon agents as they once were. This means that the agent now serves the author rather than the other way around. That is to say, it's up to the agent to prove that he or she is worth keeping around. And it's true. With so many options these days, one would be better off going it alone than trying to make it with a mediocre agent.

Personally, I know everyone says this business is "different," but I'm tired of that. It's a business, and if the traditional publishing industry cannot wrap their minds around the concept of good business practice, they are destined to fail. And you know what the basis of good business is? Communication! Gee! What a revolutionary concept!
 
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