Hey everyone,
I had started querying on my novel, and after a handful of partial requests that got my nowhere, I'm starting to think I need to revamp my manuscript. I feel like the first third of my story (roughly 100 pages) needs work. Whenever I read it now, I feel as though there is something missing that I can't quite put my finger on. I'm not sure if it's a pacing issue or what, but I could really use a fresh set of eyes to read through it and give me an honest opinion. I don't need line edits, or anything like that (though they are certainly welcome), mainly just someone to give me their perspective on the story, plot, characterizations...
I would greatly appreciate it. You can post here if interested, or PM me. My story is YA fantasy/horror. I had posted the query on QLH a while back, but I'll post it again here so you can get a feel for the story.
The Dead always ring three times. Seventeen-year-old Kayla Walters is the one who reluctantly answers the door. As Bonnesville’s Dead Talker, she helps the town’s deceased finish business and return to their graves, where their souls will remain until the Keeper comes for them.
Nearly 150 years ago, Bonnesville's founders agreed to a contract with a mysterious being known as the Keeper, signing away their souls and those of everyone in town in exchange for health and prosperity. Now, Bonnesville is full of lemmings who believe the Keeper plans to take their souls to paradise. But Kayla fears the Keeper’s intentions are much more malicious, and with his return now just two weeks away, she wants nothing more than to leave Bonnesville in her dust. However, no native-born resident can cross the town’s borders as long as the contract exists.
There’s only one way to leave town and keep her soul intact – find a way to break the contract before the Keeper returns.
Thanks in advance!
I had started querying on my novel, and after a handful of partial requests that got my nowhere, I'm starting to think I need to revamp my manuscript. I feel like the first third of my story (roughly 100 pages) needs work. Whenever I read it now, I feel as though there is something missing that I can't quite put my finger on. I'm not sure if it's a pacing issue or what, but I could really use a fresh set of eyes to read through it and give me an honest opinion. I don't need line edits, or anything like that (though they are certainly welcome), mainly just someone to give me their perspective on the story, plot, characterizations...
I would greatly appreciate it. You can post here if interested, or PM me. My story is YA fantasy/horror. I had posted the query on QLH a while back, but I'll post it again here so you can get a feel for the story.
The Dead always ring three times. Seventeen-year-old Kayla Walters is the one who reluctantly answers the door. As Bonnesville’s Dead Talker, she helps the town’s deceased finish business and return to their graves, where their souls will remain until the Keeper comes for them.
Nearly 150 years ago, Bonnesville's founders agreed to a contract with a mysterious being known as the Keeper, signing away their souls and those of everyone in town in exchange for health and prosperity. Now, Bonnesville is full of lemmings who believe the Keeper plans to take their souls to paradise. But Kayla fears the Keeper’s intentions are much more malicious, and with his return now just two weeks away, she wants nothing more than to leave Bonnesville in her dust. However, no native-born resident can cross the town’s borders as long as the contract exists.
There’s only one way to leave town and keep her soul intact – find a way to break the contract before the Keeper returns.
Thanks in advance!
