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Thread: Info (Hindu Christian marriage)

  1. #1
    practical experience, FTW
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    Info (Hindu Christian marriage)

    Hi,
    HAPPY NEW YEAR ,

    My Mc is a Hindu and she wants to marry aChristian
    in a Church, I want the following info

    • what steps should be taken to convert her to a Christian
    • Can she convert before marriage or after. she wants to convert and nobody is compelling her as her first marriage ended in a divorce.
    • Can the surname be a Hindu during the cermony. Her name is Pavithra Subramanian . If I change can it be Patricia Subramanian
    All sugestions are welcome and thanks

  2. #2
    God of the Oceans
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    Quote Originally Posted by padnar View Post
    Hi,
    HAPPY NEW YEAR ,

    My Mc is a Hindu and she wants to marry aChristian
    in a Church, I want the following info

    • what steps should be taken to convert her to a Christian

    That depends on what sect it is. Some woulld require that she be converted before the arriage could be entered into. Some would shrug of her religion. And the others would be in between those positions.



    Can she convert before marriage or after. she wants to convert and nobody is compelling her as her first marriage ended in a divorce.

    Conversion before the marriage would be preferred b any Christian church.



    Can the surname be a Hindu during the cermony. Her name is Pavithra Subramanian . If I change can it be Patricia Subramanian
    All sugestions are welcome and thanks
    Her name is irrelevant to the marriage ceremony. She could change it before and again after.

  3. #3
    practical experience, FTW mayqueen's Avatar
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    It depends on what branch of Christianity. Some would be much more open to marrying a couple who weren't Christians, others wouldn't be. There are two steps to becoming a Christian in the eyes of the church (at least as far as I was raised, in a Presbyterian church): first, you are confirmed, then you are baptized. The confirmation is just a public declaration that you plan to join the church. Baptism is a more formal ceremony. In the Presbyterian church, it was getting sprinkled with water and taking some vows.

    My church required couples who wanted to get married there to have premarital counseling with the church. Some require it extensively, some don't. I know someone who got married in a Catholic church because her husband is Catholic. She didn't have to become Catholic, but the premarital counseling included lots of talk about it.
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  4. #4
    Rewriting My Destiny Cyia's Avatar
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    If she's being baptized, some churches require classes before the baptism, too. The classes are a sort of primer on the meaning of baptism and Christianity, and then the baptism itself will either be "sprinkling" of water, like from a bowl or font, or "dunking," in which case the person is put into waist deep water and actually submerged by the pastor (either a lake, a river, or a trough in the building). It all depends on the denomination's belief system.

    Pre-marital counseling is pretty common with a church wedding.

    And there are some churches who would accept a statement of "I was raised Hindu, but have chosen to follow Christ." as enough to signal conversion.
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  5. #5
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    At least in the United States, there is no "law" that says a wedding (Christian or otherwise) has to be performed in a church (temple/mosque/etc). I've known Christians who got married in nonreligious public buildings, like a community center or a country club. Some people who want outdoor weddings will get married in a botanical garden-type location. Also there are still some people who will hold weddings in their home (assuming the wedding is small and the home is large).

    Where is your story set? In the US, there is no legal reason for her to convert before the wedding. Of course, his family might still insist on her conversion, but it's not a legal requirement.

    ETA: Also in the US, many people just go to City Hall to get married. Plus there's eloping - you can always be married by an Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas. Getting the "qualifications" to marry a couple is so easy, lots of people will have a friend conduct the ceremony.
    Last edited by melindamusil; 01-04-2013 at 04:18 AM.

  6. #6
    practical experience, FTW girlyswot's Avatar
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    In the UK everyone has a statutory right to marry in their parish church, no matter what religion if any they profess. You need a lot more detail to get a useful answer.

  7. #7
    Merovingian Superhero ULTRAGOTHA's Avatar
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    In addition to telling us what country (and/or state and/or province) this takes place in, when it takes place is important also.

    Are your MCs marrying in Calcutta in 1825? Or Alabama in 2012?
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  8. #8
    Swan in Process Siri Kirpal's Avatar
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    Sat Nam! (literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

    If this wedding is set in the USA, then the woman typically takes her husband's last name when she marries. I don't think any place in the USA has any rules about what sort of last name is allowable. Except that children take the father's last name and the woman takes her husband's last name upon marriage.

    As far as the rest, like the others said, it depends on which Christian denomination it is.

    Blessings,

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  9. #9
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    Thanks a lot for your wonderful response . I am writing a script titled Race to the senator. She is an American of Indian origin. The state is New Jersey.
    For obvious reasons I want to change her religion to Christianity and I want it to happen in a church. I know the Reverened will conduct the marriage and when they exchange the vows they have to state their names.She is a Tamil brahmin . Her name is Pavithra Subramanian and that is why I wanted to know whether she can retain her Surname .
    I am a Tamil Brahmin , so i find a tad difficult to write . Of Course I got some info from Google ,but it was not clear.
    Thanks once again for all your suggestions and I appreciate it and you people as wonderful as usual

  10. #10
    Keeper of Fort Blanket L.C. Blackwell's Avatar
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    She can keep her surname if she chooses. There is no US law requiring a woman either to take her husband's surname, or to have her children called by it. Most women choose to do so, but it is not a requirement. (It used to be so customary that nobody ever thought of doing otherwise, but that's not the case anymore.)

    You should probably decide which Christian sect you wish your character to join. Then perhaps we can give you more specific information regarding her conversion and church wedding.

    Best wishes!
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  11. #11
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    Thanks Blackwell. I love white gown , so I am going to my mc married at a Roman catholic church. To my knowlege I have read about catholic weddings and seen only the sect Church in Chennai.
    Many issues got raised , the mc 's name is Pavithra Subramanian . even if I change her name to Patricia what will be her surname when she takes the Vow .
    I would also like to know whether the rings will be exchanged before or after taking the vows.
    All suggestions are appreciated and thanks to all the help

  12. #12
    Onwards, ever onwards ClareGreen's Avatar
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    The Catholic church - in the UK at least - is one that demands conversion to Catholicism before a marriage can take place. They won't even marry an Anglican to a Catholic, both parties have to be Catholic before they can be married.

    They're a lot less worried about the names/surnames of the faithful than you seem to think, though. The Catholic Church gets everywhere, including India (see Mother Theresa) - and it's standard for a wife to take the husband's surname, so she could start as Miss Pavithra Subramanian and end up as Mrs. Pavithra HusbandName. The other 'normal' option here is for a wife to keep her own name and add the husband's to it, so Mrs. Pavithra Subramanian-HusbandName would be perfectly acceptable; this is how surnames such as Douglas-Smythe get made. Not sure about the US take on that one, though.

    If you want a white gown, though, why not just have the white gown? They're perfectly standard here, for Catholics, for Anglicans, even for Registry Office weddings with no religious element at all.
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  13. #13
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    Thanks for your suggestion Clare

  14. #14
    God of the Oceans
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    The matter of conversion before marriage probably is variable, depending on the diocese. I know of people who were married in a Catholic church iwthout conversion, but they might have been working toward conversion.

    The matter of the name would not be important in the ceremony, but the marriage license would require a lawful name, a name that matched with other documents.

  15. #15
    Swan in Process Siri Kirpal's Avatar
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    Sat Nam! (literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

    If you want her to change her name to Patricia, then you could do that. Some women do change their first names right after they marry, because they usually are changing all their documents to their husband's last name anyway. So that way, they change all their names at once.

    Hope that made sense.

    Blessings,

    Siri Kirpal
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  16. #16
    Rewriting My Destiny Cyia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by padnar View Post
    I would also like to know whether the rings will be exchanged before or after taking the vows.
    All suggestions are appreciated and thanks to all the help

    Go to YouTube and watch some wedding videos. You'll get to see the whole service.
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  17. #17
    Merovingian Superhero ULTRAGOTHA's Avatar
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    I doubt New Jersey would allow anyone to change a first name because of marriage. Connecticut doesn't allow it. To change a first name one must do a legal name change ($150 at the probate court in CT).

    To change your last name to the last name of your spouse can be done with just the marriage certificate, though.

    There is no legal requirement for your FMC to change her last name to that of her husband. The Church doesn't require it. No one requires it. If she and her fiance want to do it, fine. If they don't, that's fine too. It's up to them. So you, the author, can decide if they do it. If she wants to change her name to a third name that neither she nor her husband has, it will have to be a legal name change. You can't do that with a wedding certificate.

    The Church doesn't require the spouse be Catholic; but in this case your MMC would need permission from his Bishop, I think, to marry a non-baptized person. If you want her to convert, then you can just have them to decide to do so and not get into whether it's required or not. It would most likely happen before the wedding.

    They exchange rings during the vows.

    Here's a site that might give you some answers (wedding site, not official Catholic site. Be warned.)
    http://catholicweddinghelp.com/
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  18. #18
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    Thanks everyone for your wonderful suggestions . As usual you are very helpful and as far I am concerned you guys are the best.

    I also thank UltraGotha for the link

  19. #19
    deceives Tocotin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ULTRAGOTHA View Post
    The Church doesn't require the spouse be Catholic; but in this case your MMC would need permission from his Bishop, I think, to marry a non-baptized person.
    Also the Catholic side must promise that the (future) children would be brought up in the Catholic faith.
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  20. #20
    Merovingian Superhero ULTRAGOTHA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tocotin View Post
    Also the Catholic side must promise that the (future) children would be brought up in the Catholic faith.
    I found this site, also:
    http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-acti...mpanalysis.cfm

    The Promise
    Historically, perhaps the most misunderstood aspect of interreligious marriage has been the promise that Catholic partners must make to raise their children in the Catholic faith (canon 1125). The promise is made in the following or similar words:

    I reaffirm my faith in Jesus Christ and, with God's help, intend to continue living that faith in the Catholic Church. I promise to do all in my power to share the faith I have received with our children by having them baptized and reared as Catholics. iv

    This promise can be made orally or in writing. The non-Catholic partner is to be informed of the promise, so that he or she is aware of the promise and obligation the Catholic partner has made. The non-Catholic partner no longer has to make a promise or sign a statement.

    Which probably doesn't apply if the OP wants the FMC to convert to Catholicism before the marriage. In that case the presumption would be that the children would be raised Catholic as both parents would be Catholic.
    "Everyone is entitled to their own opinions; but everyone is not entitled to their own facts."
    --Daniel Patrick Moynihan

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    "He has the courage of a fighting cock and the brains of a chicken."
    -I cannot find the attribution for this :-(
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  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by ULTRAGOTHA View Post
    I found this site, also:
    http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-acti...mpanalysis.cfm




    Which probably doesn't apply if the OP wants the FMC to convert to Catholicism before the marriage. In that case the presumption would be that the children would be raised Catholic as both parents would be Catholic.
    Yeah that is the idea .

    The wedding scene is finished thanks to all your help and I appreciate it.

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