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Thread: Brief critique if possible?

  1. #1
    practical experience, FTW benluby's Avatar
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    Brief critique if possible?

    If anyone would be so kind, please critique this for me.

    The dwarves, however, were of the opposite mind. Here, they were comfortable. All that open sky left one constantly expecting to fall up into the never ending depths of space. As bad as being outside at day was, night was infinitely worse, knowing that one could fall billions of miles, only to be incinerated by some thrice damned ball of fire stuck out in the middle of nowhere next to not a damned thing but a ball of rock.

  2. #2
    A WIP Ton Lew Lepsnaci's Avatar
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    Better post this in SYW http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/...splay.php?f=26. You'll get many more eyes on it and as it is short, even more.

    Note that you need to post your own work. Not someone else's.
    To tell is human - writing for kids, YA & Y@Heart

    It is less important to please people who don't like your book than to please people who do, because it is better to have something people love than something they merely don't hate.

    --H. Jones

  3. #3
    I was only joking! Honest! mirandashell's Avatar
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    The OP is someone else's writing?
    I wish I was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum. Cos how you can be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?

  4. #4
    practical experience, FTW benluby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mirandashell View Post
    The OP is someone else's writing?
    No, it's my own writing. I'll post it over there. Thanks.

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