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Beta for a traditional adult horror short

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Tinman

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Hi all. I need a few betas to critique a 7500 word horror short. The protag is a 15-year old, but it's definitely adult horror. No glittery vamps. No romance. It's strictly horror. Very strong language and violence. Any critiques will be appreciated: line edits, plot holes, anything and everything. Be blunt or nice, just give me the truth. In exchange, I'll read something of yours when needed.

There's an old excerpt (second draft) of it in the SYW Horror room, currently on page 4 (sorry, I don't know how to link it.)

Thanks!!!
 

haunted

Now is the winter of my discontent.
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I'll read it. Send it to me....
 

Tinman

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I am happy to read it too as I love horror. But i am a harse critique, be warned.

Lol. Harsh is fine. I'm not asking for critiques so people will tell me I'm the next Stephen King, I'm asking for critiques because something about the story isn't working and I need help.

I sent you a PM with the story. Any comments or suggestions will be greatly appreciated. Thanks!!!
 

Tinman

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If you're still lookng and don't mind a newbie (I do a fair bit of critting, though), i am up for it. I have a pretty good horror pedigree. Pm me if you like, no probs if not.

Spring. Sent it PM. You should have it by now. And, no, I don't care if you're a newbie.
 
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