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Just Can't Make It Happen

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gell214

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I'm kind of in a similar situation right now. Not so much depression as demotivation, I think.

I don't feel like working. Not even when I think "hey, Christmas is coming up, you need money!" I don't feel like doing almost anything really.

When it comes to writing though, here's my advice (and I think I read this in a book somewhere): Think of it like when you want to throw up. It won't do you any good to hold it in, right? So let all the crap out and just clean your mess up later.

Don't overthink, as people here already said. No one has to read your first draft. You do not have to be perfect. Most first drafts are far from perfect, actually. Take comfort in that.

Just get all down on paper (or word processor) and go back to it sometime in the future (whenever that may be) to clean up your mess.
 

Old Hack

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A book I found very helpful when struggling to write is Natalie Goldberg's "Writing Down The Bones". It's not to everyone's tastes, but I liked it: it might help you get the words down, you never know. But listen to what everyone else has said to you first, about depression and how this might not be the right time for you to write.

Depression is horrible. I've dipped into it several times over the years, and it never gets any easier to cope with. I hope you find your way through it very soon.
 

folkchick

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I went through a similar episode this last summer. Every time I sat down to write, all my drive left me; maybe I was scared, depressed, tired. I'd been having horrible migraines and it was so darn hot! What I did in the meantime was play a lot of guitar, write songs, read a few books. I finally got up the nerve to work on an old piece, and little by little my writing mojo came back.

I really believe that a writer's ability comes in waves—sometimes we force it, sometimes we're lucky and it flows, but it's still there somewhere under the surface. If you've written before, you will write again. It's in you.
 

backslashbaby

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I have one possible caveat about writing down your feelings :) If you have certain kinds of depression, the thoughts you have don't need anymore weight added to them. My depressing thoughts were mainly biochemical and needed medication. Me writing them down and focusing on them just made them worse. It was kind of like an Obsessive-Compulsive person choosing to obsess more to try to 'work things out'.

Talk therapy did help, so that I knew part of why they were there in the first place. But it was always better to go hike in the sunshine or something while alone than to journal those ridiculous thoughts of mine (in my case).

Best of luck!
 

barehmel

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Yeah, unfortunately, professional help is not an option due to various circumstances. I'm actually taking a risk just by admitting that I'm depressed on an internet forum (though not a very big one- the chances of anything here being traced back to me are slim). It's only made things worse in the past, anyway.

Ah well. Gotta find something else to do, then.
There are several ways to deal with this but I haven't seen them mentioned in this thread.
 

Sarashay

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Sounds to me like you're dealing with depression and beating yourself up for not being productive is one of depression's dirtiest tricks.

So, for that matter, is the way it convinces you that you can't possibly get help and that if you tell people that you are depressed you'll get in some kind of trouble.

This isn't something you can work your way out of by sheer force of will--it is a physical condition that needs physical repair. I'm not sure what your options are, but I'll bet you that there only SEEM to be fewer than there actually are. Depression lies to you. Don't listen to it.
 

LJD

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Schilcote, there's the Conquering Challenges forum (password protected) if you want to discuss your depression further.
 
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