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Thread: I am A DARK AND TERRIBLE STALKER OF THE NIGHT!

  1. #1
    Vengeful Crystaline Hawk 45C AW Moderator Zoombie's Avatar
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    I am A DARK AND TERRIBLE STALKER OF THE NIGHT!

    So, I'm getting close to wrapping up a novel of mine (and it is gone quite well) and I was kicking around some ideas.

    And I had an idea which might be the best...or worst idea of all time.

    Here's the premise. Ian is your regular teenager. He's going to graduate soon, he loves comic books, he's got friends and so on. He is also gay. One day, Ian is out hanging with friends at a con and he meets Zack. Zack is gorgeous and easily the best vampire LARPer that Ian has ever seen. They hit it off...and then it turns out that Zack is actually a vampire.

    He turns Ian (haven't quite figured out why, but that's inconsequential for the most part)

    Then Ian goes, "Oh wow...I'm a vampire!"

    "Yes."

    "I'm immortal."

    "Unless you get set on fire, staked through the heart, or exposed to sunlight."

    "I'm super strong?"

    "Well, yes, you have the strength of ten men, are superhumanly fast, can fly, hypnotize people-"

    "I...can fly?"

    "Yes, just don't do it on camera."

    "Sure. Okay. I won't."

    Then later that evening, Zack is sipping some microwaved blood from a blood pack. He turns on the news and the story at 11? A masked, costumed individual flew into a bank, foiled a bank robbery, and then flew out.

    Cue bloody spit-take.

    For Ian has become...A SUPERHERO!

    Zack is not amused.
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  2. #2
    avem narrans lastlittlebird's Avatar
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    That is a really awesome idea
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  3. #3
    Writer Erin Kelly's Avatar
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    Ha, that's great. Love it.
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  4. #4
    late to the party ladybritches's Avatar
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    Ha,ha. Sounds pretty fun, except for the microwaved blood part. Blech!

  5. #5
    Vengeful Crystaline Hawk 45C AW Moderator Zoombie's Avatar
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    Well, it needs to be warm.
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  6. #6
    [Insert something witty here] KateSmash's Avatar
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    DO IT! DO IT RIGHT FREAKING NOW!

    *ahem* I mean, yes, that is an idea so terrible that it comes all the way back around to awesome. And I would be most amused if you pursued it.

  7. #7
    Rewriting My Destiny Cyia's Avatar
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    Awesome idea, Zoom, but you don't microwave blood. The radiation destroys the cells, removing any potential nutritional value in them - remember, blood's not meant to ever rise above 100 degrees, Fahrenheit. And bagged blood is already nasty as it includes chemical anti-coagulants to make it viable for transfusion.

    IF your vamp needs to use the pre-bagged stuff, then he should heat a pot of water (that he can nuke) and lay the bag in it once it's hot. The blood will heat slowly and radiation free. You'll have a much happier blood-sucker.

  8. #8
    Infuriatingly Theoretical TheIT's Avatar
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    Go for it! Sounds like fun.

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  9. #9
    we're gonna make it out of the fire The_Ink_Goddess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyia View Post
    Awesome idea, Zoom, but you don't microwave blood. The radiation destroys the cells, removing any potential nutritional value in them - remember, blood's not meant to ever rise above 100 degrees, Fahrenheit. And bagged blood is already nasty as it includes chemical anti-coagulants to make it viable for transfusion.

    IF your vamp needs to use the pre-bagged stuff, then he should heat a pot of water (that he can nuke) and lay the bag in it once it's hot. The blood will heat slowly and radiation free. You'll have a much happier blood-sucker.
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  10. #10
    late to the party ladybritches's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoombie View Post
    Well, it needs to be warm.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cyia View Post
    Awesome idea, Zoom, but you don't microwave blood. The radiation destroys the cells, removing any potential nutritional value in them - remember, blood's not meant to ever rise above 100 degrees, Fahrenheit. And bagged blood is already nasty as it includes chemical anti-coagulants to make it viable for transfusion.

    IF your vamp needs to use the pre-bagged stuff, then he should heat a pot of water (that he can nuke) and lay the bag in it once it's hot. The blood will heat slowly and radiation free. You'll have a much happier blood-sucker.
    Oh, god! Where's the little barfing smiley?

  11. #11
    New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin heyheymse's Avatar
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    Suddenly the warm, dark red glass of mulled wine I'm drinking seems a lot less appealing.


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  12. #12
    Rewriting My Destiny Cyia's Avatar
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    Once a vampire-writer, always a vampire-writer. "How to best prepare bagged blood" is kid-stuff.

  13. #13
    Procrastinator idontknowwhatimdoing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyia View Post
    Awesome idea, Zoom, but you don't microwave blood. The radiation destroys the cells, removing any potential nutritional value in them - remember, blood's not meant to ever rise above 100 degrees, Fahrenheit. And bagged blood is already nasty as it includes chemical anti-coagulants to make it viable for transfusion.

    IF your vamp needs to use the pre-bagged stuff, then he should heat a pot of water (that he can nuke) and lay the bag in it once it's hot. The blood will heat slowly and radiation free. You'll have a much happier blood-sucker.
    I love that you know this.

  14. #14
    practical experience, FTW SBibb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by idontknowwhatimdoing View Post
    I love that you know this.
    Agreed. :-D

    Also have to say, the idea does sound humerous. :-)
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    Who rules?! Hyrules! Liosse de Velishaf's Avatar
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    Please do this.

  16. #16
    practical experience, FTW Katallina's Avatar
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    That sounds like a fun premise. Go for it! (Things to consider: What is the vampire 'culture' of this world? Are they open or secretive? "Good", "Evil", "Neutral"? Why is Zack appalled? Is what Ian has done cheesy? Is Zack an older vamp who has become somewhat jaded? Are there rules in place that Ian has broken? And based on all of this, what will Zack do? And how will Ian react?) Definitely much to consider.
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    Listening to Bastille on repeat LadyA's Avatar
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    This sounds so cool! Except for the blood bit -

    *has Breaking Dawn: Part 1 flashback about Bella's blood-cup*

    *throws up in mouth*

    But yeah, do it!
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    Chief High Procrastinator Broadswordbabe's Avatar
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    Oh, please write this! It sounds hilarious. You could have so much fun playing with vampire tropes, superhero tropes...damn, I wish I'd thought of it!
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    Learning About New Fish Trevor Z's Avatar
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    I know there's a batman joke in here somewhere...

  20. #20
    My New Cat Is Too Big for Shoulders Corinne Duyvis's Avatar
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  21. #21
    Stay in and write. Erin Latimer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyia View Post
    Awesome idea, Zoom, but you don't microwave blood. The radiation destroys the cells, removing any potential nutritional value in them - remember, blood's not meant to ever rise above 100 degrees, Fahrenheit. And bagged blood is already nasty as it includes chemical anti-coagulants to make it viable for transfusion.

    IF your vamp needs to use the pre-bagged stuff, then he should heat a pot of water (that he can nuke) and lay the bag in it once it's hot. The blood will heat slowly and radiation free. You'll have a much happier blood-sucker.
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  22. #22
    Vengeful Crystaline Hawk 45C AW Moderator Zoombie's Avatar
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    All right! I'll write it.

    ...you'll just have to wait a bit, because literally the day after I had this idea, my editor dumped a huge rewrite on me.
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  23. #23
    Unban Opty now, m'kay? Rufus Coppertop's Avatar
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    How long do we have to wait?

    I. want. to. read. it. now.!
    Situation not optymum. Missing the pure, undiluted awesome.



  24. #24
    Maybe it was Utah. nightowling's Avatar
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    This sounds really fun

  25. #25
    Vengeful Crystaline Hawk 45C AW Moderator Zoombie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rufus Coppertop View Post
    How long do we have to wait?

    I. want. to. read. it. now.!
    Well...

    First, I have to finish editing Shattered Sky, adding in stakes, romantic tension, conspiracies and maybe a few action packed gun fights.

    Then I have to finish writing Worldshard. Wherein, I hasten to remind you, the main character is a badass winged steampunk cyborg golem armed with a lightsaber and a combination between Captain America's vibranium shield and a chainsaw.

    THEN I should really polish and send off my Warhammer 40,000 short stories to the Black Library. If I get extraordinarily lucky, they'll want to buy my short stories. Which would be awesome, because WH40K - despite having the coolest spaceship designs EVER - has almost no stories about the Imperial Navy.

    Hence why I stole borrowed Master and Commander: Far Side of the World, put it in space and BAM! WH40K short story.

    Then I can write Dark And Terrible Stalker of the Night. Or, as I wil call it, DaTSotN!

    Dat-Sonnet!

    Like dat ass.
    Last edited by Zoombie; 12-08-2012 at 01:43 PM.
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