Questions b4 sending my 1st query...

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40thou

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About me: hobby writer w/ pro aspirations. never been published. my main project is a memoir i've been working on for a year. out of the blue, i found a paper i wrote in college a couple years ago and randomly decided to adapt it into what could be a magazine article. i have never sent a freelance query before.

About the manuscript: 1,650 words about issues facing black women in sports. (the original paper was maybe 5,000 words).

About the query: 650 words total. the magazine atop my wish list that i am focusing on first accepts its queries via email.



Subject: Writer Query: "Title of Piece" - My Name


Dear Mr. John Doe,

I begin my query as I begin my article—by explaining my title. my title is VERY provocative, possibly even controversial. so I explain that it is a reference to the title of a seminal book on this subject. i am a bit worried that i feel my title is so provocative that it necessitates immediate explanation. might this turn off the editor/reader? or will this be a grabber? by now i am sort of wed to the title because it is a clever play on the reference, and has additional tie-ins to some of my other talking points.

Using the title as a point of departure, I rattle off a few facts about the injustices faced by black women in sports. due to the framework set up by the title thing, the facts don't come across as a dry list but rather smoothly flow with nice transitions from fact to fact.

Next I bring up a couple specific stories that i talk about in my article. basically, i give condensed versions of what i write about them in my article. At the end of my second specific story, i raise a question that could be interpreted as the main ....thesis? or argument? or consideration of the article. At this point in my query I am at 390 words.

Next i talk more....logistically about the article. i say i use historical and contemporary examples. insist i am balanced in my approach to the issues and give an example. i insist that while my title may be radical/liberal sounding, i also offer more conservative perspectives and give an example.

I mention that the article includes fun facts, some humor, and pop culture references. i say how the article flows well b/c of common threads i found in the subject matter.

I say I have a finished manuscript of 1,650 words that i would love to send them. i insist my knowledge and research makes me capable of producing a longer piece, or even a shorter piece if desired.
I thank the editor and say i hope to hear back soon.

sincerely,

my name
email
phone
home address



***notice i completely avoid talking about my credentials since i have none that are relevant (no publications, my BA is not in journalism or english but psychology). i worry my query my be a tad too long(?) also, since it's an email, do i still need to put the editor's name, title, magazine name, address/contact info at the top?

am i missing anything?
 
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L.C. Blackwell

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40thou, I'm not sure if you're trying to post a query, or a series of questions--none of which we could answer anyway without seeing your query-- but we do have a fifty post rule here before you can submit any work for critique, or post queries. As professional or aspiring professional writers, we also encourage appropriate spelling and grammar, without text-message style abbreviations.

When you do have fifty posts, you'll want to have your query posted in SYW (Share Your Work) which is password protected. Please do read the stickies there before posting, because the "critters" can be very frank, and not everyone is ready for that kind of evaluation.

Welcome to AW, and please give yourself some time to read the Stickies and the Newbie Guide--and get to know people. :)

Best wishes!
 

Old Hack

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I'm closing this thread as it looks to me like an attempt to circumnavigate the 50 post requirement for SYW. However, I'll also alert the room mods to it so that they can reconsider, and reopen it if they think that's appropriate.
 
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