Okay. I don't have time for a line-by-line, but a couple of thoughts:
1) You say you got a 3~5% request rate. There are a couple of problems with this. One is that we often hear that to find an agent, an author should shoot for a 10% request rate at minimum. That was about what I had before I signed (maybe 15%). I feel like if this is to be attempted, there needs to be a control group: You submit to 100 publishers the old fashioned way, and 100 publishers through this service with the same query letter, and then see what the request rate is.
If the request rate is only 3%, that probably isn't enough to get an agent. Also, is that request rate higher or lower than it would have been going through this the hard way? That's really important to know, especially considering the other things I'm going to mention below.
Also, you imply that every query will gain this rate, when really it will depend on the letter. A crappy letter might get 0 responses, whereas a stellar one might get dozens...which could lead to huge problems, again to be detailed below.
2) How do you avoid sending to more than one agent at the same agency? I mentioned this before, but I didn't see that you answered this one. Lets say you are one of the ones with a great query that gets you a 35% (or more, it's happened) request rate. If you have sent that willy-nilly to agents, there is a very good chance more than one agent at an agency might be interested. Let's say you're talking about someone like Writers House with a lot of agents. You could end up with three requests from the same agency easily. That is NOT a good thing. And I can't imagine "well, I sent it via a service that just spammed everyone" being a good excuse to get out of this one.
For those who aren't aware, the reason you don't send to agents at the same agency is because if both of them want to offer representation, it causes conflict. It's a general courtesy, and if you have two agents both offering, it is entirely possible to have them both say no. I've seen this mentioned by numerous agents.
3) Submission guidelines matter! This goes back to request rate. I've seen plenty of agents say that it irks them when submission guidelines aren't followed. Now, if you have something super awesome and stellar, maybe they'll request anyway, but let's say they're on the fence. You've sent something that they think sounds okay, but when they check instead of a synopsis and two chapters, you've sent five pages. Now they're annoyed. You've just proven yourself to be an author who can't follow the rules. Maybe they decide to be forgiving and request anyway--or maybe they just give you a rejection because you couldn't get it right.
This isn't just people being annoyed for no reason. Being an author means having to follow lots of rules. You'll be expected to make edits and revisions and get things back by certain times. If you aren't someone who follows rules easily, that marks you as someone who might be difficult to work with.
4) Relationships matter! This is all about relationships. Yes, maybe it doesn't matter on the rejection side, but what about those people who don't reject? You're suggesting people give up all relationships with agents in order to gain one, even the ones with their potential agents?
5) You can still do this on your own! The only difference is that it takes longer--and again, that might not be a bad thing. And God forbid you have to actually keep a spreadsheet and monitory what people want and who you sent to and what the responses were.
You're saying this as if it's all or nothing. Do a lot of people give up too soon? Yeah. But a lot of people also give up because they've exhausted their options, or because the feedback hasn't been great, or they realize the book isn't there yet.
The fact of the matter is there is nothing to stop an author from researching hundreds of agents (I sent to about 250 both times, based on those who represented my genre, and I did all of this on my own each time). The only difference is that my way might take four months or six months or a year, but yours might take a week. And in my year, I've written another book so when I do give up, I have something else to fall back on.
Wait. There's another difference. Doing it my way means that you are being more professional and following submission guidelines and making sure that you aren't doing anything extra that might piss off an agent and turn a maybe into a no. Think about it. You're saying 3~5%, but let's say that I use your service. Maybe one of the agents I'm sending to is one who would have said yes, but because it didn't follow her submission guidelines, she says no. I've just lost my chance with my future agent! Over something STUPID. Writers: Don't do stupid things that hurt your chances. Let the only thing they can turn you down on be the query or the manuscript.
6) I forgot one. Personalization: Do not just randomly say that you like an agent because they represent whatever random title you throw in there. This is such a big deal. I've seen this mentioned by several agents before, too, Janet Reid being one of the most vocal. Only make comparisons if they're legit. If you make comparisons and it's clear that you haven't read the books and they're nothing like yours, you've just made yourself look like an idiot who is trying to game the system.
If you can't make comparisons (I very rarely did), then leave them out. You don't always have to have them, and false personalization is worse than none. Only personalize when you can honestly, really mean it.
