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Thread: The No News is No News Purgatory Thread, Vol. 7

  1. #17601
    Sometimes I creep myself out. AW Moderator Calla Lily's Avatar
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    My opinionated opinion: It's NEVER okay to tell someone not to follow their dreams. It's okay to say: Get a job to support yourself WHILE following your dream. Be informed about the market. Learn the craft. KEEP following your dream.

    Giving up on dreams... bad. I gave up on my dream of being a Broadway actress because I realized I didn't have the chops to make it to that higher tier. That was a sad year. I had the writing, which was my first dream, and I returned to it. Things got better. I shudder to think what kind of embittered 9-to-5 angry grunt worker I'd be today without a dream.

  2. #17602
    Wielder of the Literary Lead Pipe dystophil's Avatar
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    Hah, Phillip Roth. I actually rather like his stuff. Also, from his writing I gather he's a rather dry, cynical person, so I'd take that with a grain of salt, honestly. Then again, you can't deny that quitting on a "high note", so to speak also means you always have that high note to hold on to. Success, in whichever way you want to define it. But then again this also means you may never actually reach your full potential and is momentary success worth the regret of never having tried?

    Yes, excuse me, I am verbally emoting all over the place today. The things therapy does to you, I swear.

    Anyway, just my (possibly overly idealistic) two cents...

  3. #17603
    practical experience, FTW firedrake's Avatar
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    (((((Blond))))))

    *shoves a couple of sparkly Neds into the Cuisinart*

    I'd never discourage anyone from pursuing their dreams either. Young FD wants to be an animator, he's not very good at art. I encourage him to practice, practice, practice but to also make sure he does well in subjects which he may have to fall back on...just in case.

    My crazy aunt expressing her opinion on my FB page,,,again.

  4. #17604
    Sometimes I creep myself out. AW Moderator Calla Lily's Avatar
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    fire, if you blocked her would it cause a family implosion?

  5. #17605
    And behold... A seed! CalebJMalcom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by callalily61 View Post
    My opinionated opinion: It's NEVER okay to tell someone not to follow their dreams.
    ^ this is exactly why my younger brother and I no longer speak and why I broke a rule of mine and intervened between him and his former girlfriend
    If he is pretending then he still cares.

    I have a +2 resistance to death but a -5 resistance to injury.

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  6. #17606
    Butterflies lwalker's Avatar
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    Blondie, I'm tossing another cullen in for JL! *flips on the cuisinart*

    And (((hugs))) for your work situation. That sucks.

    MAJOR HUGE thank you to everyone for the lovely comments on my photos from yesterday, and for RTing the contest links, too. It was an amazing day. And you guys are the bestest writer buds on the planet.


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  7. #17607
    bedazzled /bootay shaker!! xiaotien's Avatar
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    clovia, point taken. he certainly
    is entitled to his opinion and honesty.
    we have all been too honest one day
    or another. ha!

    dyst, i got that about him too, cynical.

    but i'd have to agree with lily pie.

    do i want to be a person who:

    1. didn't follow my dreams, didn't have my
    dreams crushed along the way, played it safe
    and never stretched or challenged myself.

    2. followed my dreams, challenged myself,
    had my heart crushed, chewed, handed back
    to me on a platter. "succeeded" (by whatever
    definition) or more likely "failed (by whatever
    definition).

    i'd rather be the latter.

    i think i learned somewhere in my early 30's
    that i hate regret.

    life is short. i wouldn't NOT wanted to have
    tried for a dream, you know?

    Silver Ph0enix (Greenwi11ow: 4/09)

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  8. #17608
    ray of motherf#%&ing sunshine ink wench's Avatar
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    (((Blond))) Wishing JL much luck!

    Meh, that strikes me as Roth being a rather cynical person, but not mean-spirited. I gave similar advice to a friend the other day after her daughter wrote her first "book" (she's seven). I told her she didn't want her happy little girl turning into bitter old me.

    Serious question - is it better to dream and fail or dream and struggle than to never dream at all? I imagine the latter would put a lot of liquor manufacturers and therapists out of business.

    ETA: as to Xiao's post, I'd much rather not have a dream than have one and keep failing at it like I currently am. I'd be happier, and I'm certain I'd find other ways to challenge myself via work or whatever.
    W1cked M1sery (Samhain) - October 2013

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  9. #17609
    practical experience, FTW firedrake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by callalily61 View Post
    fire, if you blocked her would it cause a family implosion?
    Yes, she's my Mum's twin sister.

  10. #17610
    Wielder of the Literary Lead Pipe dystophil's Avatar
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    What Lily said. *sage nod*

    I'm actually currently kind of experiencing just that. The whole "my dreams are totally crazy and delusional. I want all these things I can't ever have," blah, blah, blah. And really I'm just self-sabotaging myself, because it effectively turns me into a closed-off wuss.

    Yeah, anyway. Sleep-deprived and emoting all over the place? Check. Filter irreparably broken? Double check. Coherence? Nonexistent. Sorry everyone.

  11. #17611
    Hello! chan's Avatar
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    Blond, I was actually just thinking of JL yesterday and getting worried that I hadn't heard anything from you since I know TX results came out last week. The results almost always come out much earlier than they say. Usually mid afternoon! So, I'm sending lots and lots of positivity your way. Eek! What an awful/glorious day, that is
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  12. #17612
    bedazzled /bootay shaker!! xiaotien's Avatar
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    inkie, i answered your question with above
    post, but i honestly think we, as individuals,
    are *nothing* without our dreams.

    we are also nothing without hope.

    it is as simple as that to me.

    and look, i'm totally honest. i'm not roses
    and sunshine about this. (although i guess
    most of you think i'm "perky". ha!) when
    i do book panels with local authors, it's pretty
    hilarious how honest we are about how bloody
    hard this business is.

    but we also convey the great parts and the
    excitement, and the mere fact of having written
    and put a book out there for others to read.

    it's a crazy dichotomy, but there it is.

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  13. #17613
    Wielder of the Literary Lead Pipe dystophil's Avatar
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    (((Fire))) Ugh on the crazy family. The trick is to speak a language they don't know, I tell you.

    (((Blond))) That's just crazy! I want to say I'm glad you found some middle ground, but really I feel that she's just not even close to paying you what you're worth. Let alone valuing you. Bar and employment vamp dust for JL!

  14. #17614
    ray of motherf#%&ing sunshine ink wench's Avatar
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    *refrains from getting all psychologist and talking about variable interval reward schedules and conditioning*



    *also realizes she is way too dark and cynical for this thread and should probably go back to writing more crap that no one else will read*
    W1cked M1sery (Samhain) - October 2013

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  15. #17615
    Hello! chan's Avatar
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    Just read the Roth piece. It certainly didn't sound mean-spirited on Roth's part to me since it wasn't as if he knew the author or the author's work personally. He just sounded exhausted from the whole endeavor. Haven't we all been?

    I don't know what to think. I know I've had the same thoughts myself. Sometimes it'd be nice not to have this *Extra* thing and to just go around like a normal person. When you're off work, you have free time and watch TV rather than try to sneak in time writing. But I also think we're all more interesting people for having worked at something we're passionate about.
    Check out my blog, Fumbling with Fiction!


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    My Sister the Vampire #9: Twin Spins
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    My Sister the Vampire #11: Flying Solo
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  16. #17616
    bedazzled /bootay shaker!! xiaotien's Avatar
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    inkie, i have no idea what you're talking about.
    ha!

    but i only really believe in this life.
    and nothing beyond it.

    so i'm going to try and make as much
    of it as i can, you know?

    i'm not sure everyone *is* cut out for some
    things though, not everyone is as thick skinned
    and many people are more sensitive.

    it's about knowing yourself in the end.
    that is the most important thing, i think.
    knowing and accepting yourself.
    and hokey as hell, but definitely loving yourself.

    dreams and hopes, that is the most important
    thing to *me* playing this game called Life. =)

    Silver Ph0enix (Greenwi11ow: 4/09)

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  17. #17617
    ray of motherf#%&ing sunshine ink wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xiaotien View Post
    inkie, i have no idea what you're talking about.
    ha!
    Basically, the most effective way to reinforce a behavior pattern is to reward people at random intervals for doing the behavior. Most of life is like this. Publishing sure is. You never know when something you do might pay off, so you keep doing it and doing it and are unlikely to give up because of the possibility that next time will be the time you get your reward.

    And basically, I agree with you. Which is why if my next book doesn't sell, I'm going to sit down agent lady and explain I want to self-publish it.
    W1cked M1sery (Samhain) - October 2013

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  18. #17618
    practical experience, FTW FruitTree's Avatar
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    Hi everyone, hope you are all having a good Friday! That Roth story sounds rather like the old "you don't have the fire"/violinist story to me...

  19. #17619
    practical experience, FTW FruitTree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ink wench View Post
    Basically, the most effective way to reinforce a behavior pattern is to reward people at random intervals for doing the behavior. Most of life is like this. Publishing sure is. You never know when something you do might pay off, so you keep doing it and doing it and are unlikely to give up because of the possibility that next time will be the time you get your reward..
    The old pigeon example! (i.e., the pigeons fed at random intervals never stopped pecking to get the food. One of my favorite things in college was when my behavioral psychology professor was demonstrating this with live birds and, after one bird became recalcitrant, left the room saying "I'm going to go get my backup pecker.")

  20. #17620
    Sometimes I creep myself out. AW Moderator Calla Lily's Avatar
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    I'm a stubborn broad. Tell me I'm not good enough to achieve something and I'm going to go at it all the harder. The convent backfired that way. But other things haven't.

  21. #17621
    A new year, a new avatar Snappy's Avatar
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    It's Friday. My brain hurts. Next week is Thanksgiving. Where did 2012 go???

    Blondie... for JL!
    ~ Just Snappy

  22. #17622
    phoenix blazing Parametric's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the birthday wishes yesterday! 24 is a big number.

    Quote Originally Posted by ink wench View Post
    ETA: as to Xiao's post, I'd much rather not have a dream than have one and keep failing at it like I currently am. I'd be happier, and I'm certain I'd find other ways to challenge myself via work or whatever.
    I'm definitely with ink here. Having an unattainable dream makes me miserable on a regular basis. I'd rather not have a dream at all, and I'm working on that.

  23. #17623
    Hello! chan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Parametric View Post



    I'm definitely with ink here. Having an unattainable dream makes me miserable on a regular basis. I'd rather not have a dream at all, and I'm working on that.
    Totally understand that thought process. Ugh.

    Can I just say I'm glad to have people to lament and obsess with again, though? I've found a lot of my writing friends seem to fizzling off, a bit exhausted in the whole process and it's hard not to have as many people that feel the same about writing to talk to...
    Check out my blog, Fumbling with Fiction!


    The Agent Call.

    My Sister the Vampire #9: Twin Spins
    My Sister the Vampire #10: Date with Destiny
    My Sister the Vampire #11: Flying Solo
    [Egmont UK]

    WIP: Alive, collaboration with Nick Harris of Story Foundation

  24. #17624
    carpe libri Amarie's Avatar
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    It's hard for me to know what to say when someone tells me it's their dream to be an author. I don't tell them not to try, but I am really honest about how difficult it is. And I don't know how others feel about it, but I actually tell kids and teens I wouldn't advise they pick a creative writing major in college.

  25. #17625
    Sometimes I creep myself out. AW Moderator Calla Lily's Avatar
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    Amarie, I've always told my kids to dream big AND get a degree in something that will pay the bills while they're working toward the dream.

    I'm the practical one in the family.

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