May Litariry Ficshin Chalinge

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SomethingOrOther

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Post passages written by renown animal authors (and a picture of said author! authimal?).

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We slepd in whut had wunce bin teh gimnasium. Teh floor waz of varnished wood, with stripes an sircles painted on it, fr teh games that waz 4merly played there; teh hoops fur teh baskitbal nets waz still in place, though teh nets waz gone. Balcony ran aroun teh roum, fur teh spicktators, an i thought i could smell, faintly likes an afterimuj, teh punjent sent of sweat, shot thru with teh sweet taint of chewng gum an perfume frum teh watchin girls, felt-skirted az i knew frum picchurs, latr in miniskirts, then pance, then in one earrins, spiky green-strekked hair. Dances would haz been held there; the music lingurred, palimpists of unherd soun, style upon style, an undercurrint of drums, foarlorn wail, garlands made of tissue-papr flowers, cardboard devils, revolvins ball of mirrors, powdering teh dansers with snow of lite.
Margirit Catwood — The Hanmade Tail
 
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archerjoe

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A whistling comes across the park. It has happened before but there is nothing to compare it to now.

The other dogs stop their games and run towards the sound. It's a standard evacuation of the park at nightfall, just like any other day. Squirrels sit in trees, thinking they're safe. He eyed a squirrel as he loped along with his playmate. If it were to fall in their midst, that would be a spectacle!

They mill around the owners, picking up scents. It's only a matter of time before the treats are handed out. Each dog has nagging doubts that say "They're out of treats. You won't get one. They'll give the last one to another dog, one that deserves it more."

He jostles for position among English bulldogs, Irish setters and Scotties. There were German shepherds in the days long ago but now they're at war.

Thomas Doberman Pynchon - Gravy Train's Rainbow
 

buz

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I could write my own (debatable) but I couldn't beat LOLcat Bible. (Available both as an actual book as well as the wiki page that I just linked.)

Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1
 
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