Teens Writing for Teens, issue 6

honestly not good.

1) school issues are growing worst, now my mom is setting up a meeting with the dean and my professor. I'm stressing and really depressed about this.

2) Yesterday i got critiqued by the class for the second chapter of FREAKS. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! I dont know how to win! Everyone on AW, that has read my first few chapters have told me i had way too much background and "Telling"... so i cut that all out, i followed the advice by multiple people to show everything and give away the characters background and stuff through out the whole book...

Then all my reviews said "They didnt connect with the characters" Now this might have been because they didn't read the first chapter, but some that did still had that comment! They told me to add more background and such. SERIOUSLY!?!?! I JUST TOOK THAT ALL OUT!

Just frustrated and upset now.

OH. MY. GOD.

*waves*

amlptj said:

2) Yesterday i got critiqued by the class for the second chapter of FREAKS. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! I dont know how to win! Everyone on AW, that has read my first few chapters have told me i had way too much background and "Telling"... so i cut that all out, i followed the advice by multiple people to show everything and give away the characters background and stuff through out the whole book...

Then all my reviews said "They didnt connect with the characters" Now this might have been because they didn't read the first chapter, but some that did still had that comment! They told me to add more background and such. SERIOUSLY!?!?! I JUST TOOK THAT ALL OUT!

Just frustrated and upset now.

Click to expand...

I would take this feedback with a grain of salt, and by that I mean ignore it. All of your character-building and establishment of reader sympathy is in the first chapter. There is no conceivable situation (apart from, apparently, a college writing class) in which anyone will read the second chapter without the first. This is a very strange system for receiving feedback.

Yeah the class is set up oddly...

Some did read the first chapter and still had that comment. You see the class is set up were we sign up for 2 critiques, and on that week we read one of our four papers, that week i had to read my second one, which was my second chapter, although i made a mistake when i was handing them out and handed out the first one, but then corrected my mistake by handed out the second one.

So a few actually read the first one even though they didn't need too, and they still agreed/said the same thing, which is just really confusing me. With this newest version in which i cut out all the background which everyone told me was "telling" I thought i still conveyed enough emotion and action in the first chapter that even if you didn't completely know who the MC's were, you would still feel for them.

Right now i think i'm just going to ignore there comments. I think they are just clearly not my target audience.

ETA: Good Morning!

Yeah, honestly, I think the first chapter is just fine for emotion and sympathy. I still remember Pip tripping over his mother's arm. Yikes.

And good morning.

Hahahaha! Yeah poor Pip, you wouldnt even believe the shit he goes through in the next books with his family, mainly Matt. I dont know why, but i always end up hurting him in the end, and I really hate myself for it, Matt is awesome!

So how are you this morning?

I'm peachy thanks! Cranking up the music and working on this airship scene. How about you?

Ok for right now. Writing makes everything better! I also have my music blasting.

YAY COOL AIRSHIP SCENE!!! Have fun writing all that awesomeness!

Airship!

[snip]

WOW! Amazing description there!

Thank you! Now you know what I secretly write when I should be working.

Its Saturday, you deserve free time! Write away!

Right now i'm trying to figure out if i'm royally screwing up FREAKS. Hehehe! Was going through trying to cut down my overused exclamation points and fix up dialogue tags, when i realized i hated alot of parts about that chapter, so i ended up cutting and changing alot. Then that screwed with the next chapter a little. Now i'm watching the domino effect.

Just saying, if your going to The Hunger Games today... If you're like me, you'll be BLOWN AWAY.

That good? Cool.

Both me and Will want to see it but we have never read the books, so i kind of want to read the book first. I dont know what i'll do, if i'll see it or not.

I'm heading out to see it on Wednesday. Can't wait. It's going to be amazing.

Well, reading the books first can either want to make you seeit more, or make you not want to seeit at all. Me, I loved the trilogy for the most part. But there are people out there who didn't like it at all. So... Yeah. Hahah

Well i wont get to reading them any time soon, so i'll have to decide what to do rather quickly. My bosses were yelling at the the other day because they wanted to talk about the movie and books, but they knew i hadnt read them yet! hehehe

Hey everyone!

How's it going?

Regarding The Hunger Games movie:

I adore the trilogy, which is why I'm worried about the movie. The director has previously done idealistic work, and THG is extremely cynical. I'm worried he completely missed the point, even if Suzanne Collins is one of the screenwriters (after all, directors usually take the screenplay and do their own thing with it).

Regarding me:

I'm going to a chorus performance tonight. Yeah, that's how I spend my Saturday evenings. I also stick out my pinky when lifting my teacup.

Yourselves?

Regarding the books: I adore them even though I'm still not sure what I think about MJ. CF is by far my favorite.

Regarding the movie: I've heard everything from "they made major changes but it still awesome" to "it was awesome and they kept really well to the book." I haven't talked to anyone who didn't like it.

I'm going to see the movie tonight!!

I expect the movie to be better then the books.

Why?

Because what I LIKE about Hunger Games is the actual stuff that happens, and I don't like being in Katniss's head, because I don't like Katniss.

TEAM FOXFACE!

(but my faaaaaavorite is Johanna. Forever and ever Johanna)

and, CIW, I think they captured that. I've read enough interviews with the director, the costume designers, set designers, etc. etc.

ETA: I like Mockingjay. But I don't want them to split it into two. If anything, they should split Catching Fire.

Oh, and also, if anyone wants to know, my sister's surgery was successful. She had a bit of a nasty allergic reaction to the anesthetic but is okay now.

Oh dear. I'm glad she's okay and the surgery is successful! Thinking of her and hoping for a speedy recovery.

Thanks, HR. That means a lot.