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Good morning...I've heard some discussion about the overusage of "had" in sentence structure. Several times, the solution of using it once at the beginning of the paragraph, and once at the end was brought forth. So I rewroter a paragraph of a story I'm working on, based on that. I wonder if someone would cast a second set of eyes on it, and give me their take? Thanks!
This was the most life Elizabeth had shown in quite awhile. For days after her parents’ death, she remained in an almost catatonic state for days. During the following months, a slow thaw took place, brought on by careful nurturing and attention. No one can plan for tragedy, but the close relationship Jackie enjoyed with her sister and family paved the way for an easy adoption. Conditions were laid out in Loretta and David Jacob’s wills for Jackie to have immediate custody in the event of anything unforeseen, and from there, it was mere formality. Elizabeth moved Jackie’s house, and was overjoyed to discover a bedroom had been decorated entirely in Dora the Explorer motif.
This was the most life Elizabeth had shown in quite awhile. For days after her parents’ death, she remained in an almost catatonic state for days. During the following months, a slow thaw took place, brought on by careful nurturing and attention. No one can plan for tragedy, but the close relationship Jackie enjoyed with her sister and family paved the way for an easy adoption. Conditions were laid out in Loretta and David Jacob’s wills for Jackie to have immediate custody in the event of anything unforeseen, and from there, it was mere formality. Elizabeth moved Jackie’s house, and was overjoyed to discover a bedroom had been decorated entirely in Dora the Explorer motif.