Cell phones and overheard conversations

kuwisdelu said:

How often do you all use overheard conversations in writing?

Click to expand...

I collect used postcards. I have one where the writer is talking about his vacation in Florida and how he accidentally laid down on a man-o-war jellyfish but the bar across the street helped him forget about the pain.

My favorite is one where a guy wrote to his wife or girlfriend. It says, "Honey don't get mad. I'll explain everything when I get home."

I once gave a doctor some lab results that included, among other things, a positive chlamydia test. Ten minutes or so after that, I caught the patient on the phone to (presumably) his S.O, telling her he'd got the all clear.

Overheard on the bus, "Do you remember when Kay got that spray tan? They come to your house and set up a tent."

I had never heard of spray tans until that snippet.

kuwisdelu said:

How often do you all use overheard conversations in writing?

Click to expand...

Mostly, they serve as prompts for writing, but I do keep them in reserve in case a scene comes up that one of them would fit.

Manuel Royal said:

Have you noticed how often, when talking outdoors on a cell phone, someone will talk loudly, yet speak as freely as if they were in a private room?

Click to expand...

Outdoors? Why does it have to be outdoors? I've heard people yak about their intimate sexual encounters in the midst of crowds in coffee shops and shopping malls.

Last year I took a tourist trip abroad, and met a retired doctor who had the best shtick about this stuff I've ever heard. He is a tall, dignified man, which probably helps, but he said he had fun having one-sided pseudo-conversations on his cell phone when in the crowd of strangers. He'd hold the phone to his ear (not even turned on), and invent one-sided conversations, like:

"No. She was dead when I got there."

----

"Yes. I found her in the bathtub."

---

"No, I didn't call 9-1-1. You think I wanted to be a suspect?"


etc.

The effect must have been marvelous.

caw

It seems to me this (the moment you see someone in public talking loudly on a cellphone, or a 'mobile' for those across the pond) is the time you get out your smartphone, hit record, and hold it up to video the offender while combing your hair as if you were looking into a compact mirror.

Then upload it to youtube.

PulpDogg said:

It is sometimes not just limited to cell phones either ... some people simply do not care about what they talk in public.

Click to expand...

This. I was in a cafe yesterday. Empty but my table and the one next to me. 18 inches away next to me. One 40-something man talking about taking a Chinese girl to a specific Chinese restaurant to get a donut and soy coffee. He sounded so irritated and went on about how he was going to have to talk to her about how 'that's not how we do things here.' He groused about teaching her about American culture,etc. I thought perhaps he was talking about having an exchange student in his home.

Then he goes on about how secretive she is about financial matters and how he bought some shelves to put in her room and as he cleaned out the closet to put things together he found a box "with thousands and thousands of dollars in it."

He talked about supporting her in her business endeavor and that they're "physically compatible..." So I figured it's closer to a mail-order bride thing, not an exchange student. It was fascinating how much He spoke about her so much in the manner one talks about a child. What started out as a conversation making her sound like an immature girl with entitlement issues ended up making him sound like a controlling jerk.

I don't write fiction, otherwise it would definitely have launched a book idea.

(It was interesting that the man who did most of the listening remarked, "You've been very patient with all our jabber," as they got up to leave. Little did he know that I actually found it all rather fascinating.)

I have a friend, a retired doctor from Tennessee with a nice lilty Tennessee drawl, who likes to play games in public places by doing phony half-conversations on his cell phone, things like:

"No, she was dead when I got there."

pause

"Of course I didn't call the police. Do you think I'm an idiot?"

pause

"Yeah, they found her in the bathtub. She'd been dead for five days."

etc.

Has a marvellous effect on the eavesdroppers.

caw

Lyra Jean said:

I collect used postcards. I have one where the writer is talking about his vacation in Florida and how he accidentally laid down on a man-o-war jellyfish but the bar across the street helped him forget about the pain.

My favorite is one where a guy wrote to his wife or girlfriend. It says, "Honey don't get mad. I'll explain everything when I get home."

Click to expand...

Oooo, I looooove used postcards!! I have a bunch and they all fascinate me-- these little snippets of someone's life and relationship. Sometimes I use them as writing prompts.

I love your examples! My favourite of my collection has a silly poem someone made up talking about their vacation so far-- plus it's addressed to "The Listening Room" at Scotland Yard. I'm going to assume someone worked there, or else that they're insane. Either way, it's amazing.

I listen in on people's conversations generally, too. I knew a playwright who always carried a mini sound recorder with him to tape people's conversations, hahaha. I really wanted to do the same thing... maybe I should....

I used to work with a woman who thought the phones at the office were too public, so if she needed to make a personal call, she'd go into the bathroom. Drove me nuts. I hate when people talk on their phones in the bathroom! And she wasn't shy, either. Whatever she needed to do in the bathroom, she did on the phone. Every time I went in there, she was in one of the 2 stalls yakking. Paying bills, talking to friends, anything. Once I went in there and she was talking to a social worker or something about how she could get rid of one of her foster kids that was "more trouble than she'd been 'antipating'".

A couple of weeks ago I overheard a girl talking to her boyfriend's employer, or at least someone he'd done some kind of work for. "The check you gave him is going to expire before he gets out of jail and he wants to know if when he gets out, you'll give him a new one."

But the best "overheard" conversation I've experienced came through a pair of texts I got from a total stranger who clearly believed I was someone else. "That didn't just happen, okay?" Followed a few minutes later by "Just keep your mouth shut."

I used to hear lots of great ones when I rode Tri-Met. Best mobile conversation ever:

"So they're red and look like little blisters?"

Assorted filler.

"Wait you shave it, right? Yeah those are just ingrown hairs. If it doesn't hurt it aint herpes."

Followed by instructions on how to properly shave a woman's junk, and lots of information about the other girl's sex life and boyfriend.

Overheard in Dublin has been know to make me giggle.

In a similar vein, I had a case of internet mistaken identity once that gave me some serious raised eyebrow-action. I saved it on my LJ for posterity, but it was about five or six years ago now - when I was still using AIM. It was with some woman I hardly knew. I had her on my Buddylist as I'd talked to her like once, almost a year prior. So I was watching TV and IMing a couple friends when a new IM window popped up on my screen:

HER: WHY hasn't anyone KILLED YOUR ASS!!!
ME: excuse me?
HER: YES!!!
ME: umm, no habla crazy talk
HER: Because you troll Transsexual chat rooms
HER: Yes you do bizzitch
ME: look, what the hell are you talking about!?!
HER: You know what I'm talking about
HER: Busted you there a while back!!!
HER: You swore you were straight
HER: caught you red haded
HER: handed*
ME: look, I dont know if this is your idea of a joke, but I barely know who you are! I think I talked to you once, like months ago, and that was about a convo from a messageboard we both visited
HER: which message board ?
ME: umm, [board name redacted]?
ME: this is [username redacted], right?
HER: Oh f**k!!! You have the same handle as another guy that I was chatting with !!
HER: F**K!!!
HER: Some guy by the name of [username redacted]
HER: s**t!!!
HER: I thought you were him
ME: yeah, umm, no
ME: sorry to disappoint
HER: I just saw the SN difference
HER: I got you two confused
ME: sure, np, completely understandable
ME: happens all the time
HER: I'm going to delete you from my list, no offense because I have a BIG bone to pick with him
ME: noooooooooooooot a problem. hope you two work it out
ME: bye


So, yeah. That happened. In hindsight, the thing I got the biggest kick out of was she took the time out from her diatribe to correct her own spelling.

All I ever hear are conversations in the mode of "bitch, where my money?/I don't owe you no money, bitch".

I think public cell phone conversations have become much less of a social faux pas then they used to be. Almost everyone is on their phone waiting in line or wherever, so no one seems to notice or care. It really does show the oblivious narcissism when people talk about really private things though. Or when they STAY ON THE PHONE once they get up to the register or wherever they are. Transacting business while on the phone is absofuckinlutely rude as hell. But just in general public places? Naw. It's just become an adaptation within human culture.

My favorite retaliation to cell phone use was this little diddy from Breaking Bad...

I wrote a short story after overhearing a cell phone conversation in the street the other day. The woman practically screamed into her phone: "He will kill me, Daniel. He always kills me!"

"Mo-om, I can't do that! I don't wanna to go back to prison, I just got out!"

A young guy in the metro explaining to his mother why he couldn't meet some guy he knew because that would violate his parole conditions.

I've caught myself a few times discussing things better left undiscussed in crowds (not parole violations though)... Like that time a friend asked me after an infection that had even the specialist baffled for months. Didn't realise I had given my friend all the goo-ey details at a rather crowded bus stop. I may have put a few people off their lunch there and then.

blacbird said:

Outdoors? Why does it have to be outdoors? I've heard people yak about their intimate sexual encounters in the midst of crowds in coffee shops and shopping malls.

Last year I took a tourist trip abroad, and met a retired doctor who had the best shtick about this stuff I've ever heard. He is a tall, dignified man, which probably helps, but he said he had fun having one-sided pseudo-conversations on his cell phone when in the crowd of strangers. He'd hold the phone to his ear (not even turned on), and invent one-sided conversations, like:

"No. She was dead when I got there."

----

"Yes. I found her in the bathtub."

---

"No, I didn't call 9-1-1. You think I wanted to be a suspect?"


etc.

The effect must have been marvelous.

caw

Click to expand...

This. Is. Awesome.

Earlier today:

"If I ever have kids...what do you mean, I should never have kids? Listen, IF I ever have a kid, I'm never going to let him drink. Never ever ever. But if he wants to smoke, I'll go down the shop and buy him fags myself."

These are amazing.

People here are on their mobiles all the time, but I don't usually pay attention since it's not in English.

But there was the time I was on a bus home from my university. A guy behind me, must have been early twenties. He spent most of the four hour trip on the phone. The part that stuck out to me was this:

"I've just gotten on the bus after the hearing. They made me pay a fine. But seriously, you can't be doing stupid shit like this anymore. You can't be getting into trouble. We have to do better."

I just remember thinking, if he was the one with the hearing who's he to be telling anyone to stay out of trouble?