the head of the department who happens to be my academic adviser and who also happens to be my professors best friend.
Can you get a new advisor? Because I think at this point you might want to start there.
And if you're having these kind of issues, often student government has services set up to deal with it.
Though, honestly, if he's tenured and friends with the dept head, there is nothing you're going to really be able to do absent some sort of class you can take in place of that one.