Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip

cray · Jan 16, 2012

see! gah!
that's why i really wish there was video of me falling off'n my bike!

sorry, cella.

Cella · Jan 16, 2012

TrainofThought · Jan 16, 2012

Cella said:
I always found Wednesdays to be particularly funny, myself..

Eta:

In other news, I just ran a marathon.

Well, not a marathon per se, but like around the path a couple times, pushing a broken jogging stroller with 2 kids in it, with frequent stops for dropped soppy cups and goldfish containers and blankets dragging through the goose poo,while they may or may not have been screaming for their lives because I got the awesome new earbuds that very effectively block out all noise.

Anyway,... I'm bushed.

You've earned a few Reese's buttercups and a Juicy Juice.

PorterStarrByrd · Jan 16, 2012

Boy it's been busy here today, I'll have to catch up now that the key board and phone line have thawed out

-20 (farenheit) again ... It's warmed up to 6 today so I went out and chopped some kindling once the axe thawed out

cray · Jan 16, 2012

yipes.

that's cold.

Jaycinth · Jan 16, 2012

Cella, I saw the reppie.

It's the asbestos talking. I understand.

Just go guzzle a case or two of Dom Perignon. It'll wash the crap right out of your system and have you perky and chipper in two flicks of a monkey's tail.

by jinky!

TrainofThought · Jan 16, 2012

PorterStarrByrd said:
-20 (farenheit) again ... It's warmed up to 6 today so I went out and chopped some kindling once the axe thawed out

Jason?

TrainofThought · Jan 16, 2012

Tweet: I'm drinking licorice tea.

Another Tweet: I made a fabuloso salad; romaine, green peppers, onions, avacado, turkey sausage, sprinkled of cheese and paprika salad dressing.

:snoopy:

Haggis · Jan 16, 2012

What he said:

cray said:
monday's are funny too.
check it...

so, once a week i use the rollers to do my bike training. rollers are like a treadmill for your bike. today was my day.

i’m in my office, pedaling away at a pretty high speed since there is no real resistance. door closed. i have the rollers set up in from of a computer and i’m watching a movie at the same time. yea me! fun fun!! oh, in case you are worried about my safety, i pull the treadmill up to one side of me in case i need to grab onto something. i’m going about 22mph – pretty high cadence too. pedaling like mad.

what the???? out of the corner of my eye i see a nice yanno,…arse that is not attached to my lovely bride walk by my office door.

ah ha….i remembered that cray jr. is having a kid come over to play with and this must be the mom dropping him off. she’s in the dining room talking to mrs. cray.

now i’m on high alert. right? like a douchebag, i crank it up a notch.
come on, i know you’d do the same. hell, if i wasn’t on the bike rollers i would had done a handstand and walked around on my hands.

so at this point i’m doing 25mph, sweating my bingos off, trying to stay on the gd rollers, and watching a movie. in addition, now i’m straining my body forward trying to see out of my office to get a look at the nice butt that just walked past my office.

i know what you are thinking but it wasn’t the nice butt that got me! well, not exactly.
it was the sweat. that extra bit of effort made extra sweat. dern. a single bead of which went into my eyes. fark.

without proper preparation i went to wipe the sweat out of my eye, my front wheel drifted left and ever so gingerly kissed the edge of the roller….

that was pretty much the last thing i remember.

oh, i guess i do remember the very funny moan i let out as i tumbled to the floor . i wish i had the whole thing on tape.

good news though….
no one saw me or heard me. i guess the volume of the movie was loud enough where they just didn’t hear me. lord knows how that happened.

What I heard:

cray said:
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,.

blah, blah, blah, blah? like a douchebag, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah.

blah, blah, blah, blah.

cray · Jan 16, 2012

Silent Rob · Jan 16, 2012

Now try and do that while riding your bike on the rollers.

And tape it.

TrainofThought · Jan 16, 2012

Caller: Hello. My name is [Aloicious] and I see you have a free account here. Can I ask why you were looking into a press release?

Me: I just published a book last month and thought I’d shoot out a press release.

Caller: What’s your budget?

Me: Non-existent. I could probably squeeze something….like…at the most $100.00.

Caller: Oh, whoa…yeah, our prices run around $5,000.

Me: *swallows hard* I put out. Could we do an exchange?

Click…

Me: Hello? Hello? Okay, you think about it and get back to me. I’ll be here.

*goes to the refrigerator, takes a beer out, opens and chugs it and then burps*

Me: I don't think he'll be calling back.

Angie · Jan 16, 2012

Sounds like a perfectly reasonable deal to me...

Silent Rob · Jan 16, 2012

Aloicious is a bidge. Everybody knows that. You should talk to Helmut instead, tot.

TrainofThought · Jan 16, 2012

Angie said:
Sounds like a perfectly reasonable deal to me...

Thanks, Angie. I thought the same thing. Other countries barter.

Silent Rob said:
Aloicious is a bidge. Everybody knows that. You should talk to Helmut instead, tot.

Ah! Thanks, Rob. I'll call him back and let him know about my services.

*doesn't really know what a 'bidge' is, but I trust Rob and it doesn't sound good.*

cray · Jan 16, 2012

she offered to talk to helmut, rob, and that's when aloicious hung up.

duh.

Angie · Jan 16, 2012

Well, Rob would know...

Silent Rob · Jan 16, 2012

TrainofThought said:
Ah! Thanks, Rob. I'll call him back and let him know about my services.

*doesn't really know what a 'bidge' is, but I trust Rob and it doesn't sound good.*

I'm just talking jive.

cray said:
she offered to talk to helmut, rob, and that's when aloicious hung up.

duh.

Helmut's all done talking.

Angie said:
Well, Rob would know...

There should be a 'hung' in there somewhere, I think.

Not that I would know about that.

Or somefink.

NinaK · Jan 16, 2012

Silent Rob said:
There should be a 'hung' in there somewhere, I think.

Helmut's all hung up on Rob.

TrainofThought · Jan 16, 2012

Why does procrastination start with "pro"? I feel like I'm not doing anything wrong. As a matter of fact, I feel this is a good character trait.

And Rob, I don't know how to talk jive. Lerne Deutsch ist nicht gute. See?

kayleamay · Jan 16, 2012

Cella? Cella, can you hear me? It's me, Kaylea! Remember me? We used to make secret soda and tell jokes about cray behind his back? Or, it might have been in front of his back, or in front of his front. It's hard to tell what you're looking at with cylinders.

Cella?

CELLA?

I don't think she can hear me. Is this thing on?

Angie · Jan 16, 2012

NinaK said:
Rob's all hung up on Helmut.

Fixed that for ya.

Jaycinth · Jan 16, 2012

TrainofThought said:
Why does procrastination start with "pro"?

Otherwise it would just be 'crass in ten nations'

kayleamay · Jan 16, 2012

Did someone call for crass?

robeiae · Jan 16, 2012

I see not much has changed around these parts, since last I stuck my nose in...

(I sound like cray's favorite proctologist)

A belated Happy New Year, nut bars.

Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip

Superior Life form

Cella

A flowering bud of bitchiness

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Superior Life form

Your Cuddly Sociopathic

A flowering bud of bitchiness

A flowering bud of bitchiness

Evil, undead Chihuahua

Superior Life form

Riff-Raff

A flowering bud of bitchiness

Shaddup and lemme think.

Riff-Raff

A flowering bud of bitchiness

Superior Life form

Shaddup and lemme think.

Riff-Raff

On the Beach

A flowering bud of bitchiness

I'm on the phone.

Shaddup and lemme think.

Your Cuddly Sociopathic

I'm on the phone.

Touch and go