Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip
- Thread starter Jaycinth
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Seconded Honeybug, and good morning guys.
I keep trying to get back here, but I've been really busy setting up a website, facebook, and all other name of media - BLAH - I don't particularly care for the 'set-up' part.
I keep trying to get back here, but I've been really busy setting up a website, facebook, and all other name of media - BLAH - I don't particularly care for the 'set-up' part.
Just for you ---
A very drunk patron at a bar is trying to impress everyone with his fighting ability. "I am trained in every hand-to-hand combat there is," he says.
To further prove his point, he walks up to Porter, who happened to be in the bar, and whops him behind the neck! "Karate chopfrom China," he says.
Poor ol' Porter gets up off the floor and sits back in his seat, saying nothing.
The big man hits him again. "Judo from Japan."
Scrawny ol' Porter once again picks himself up off the floor and continues sipping his beer.
The man grabs him putting Porter in a state of suspended animation. "That's a nerve pinch from Korea."
After a few minutes, Porter is able to move again. Instead of getting back on his bar stool he walks out.
Ten minutes later he walks in with a large board in his hands and hits the drunk square in the head with the board, laying him flat out on the floor.
Looking down at his tormenter, Porter says, "Two-by-four from Home Depot."
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Seems to work as well as a 2X4 from Seagrams (2parts maple syrup, 4 parts Chevas or Crown Royal) though I'm not sure how it'll compare to my new 2X4 Mouse Trap (just pour in a traditional 2X4 to this once the mouse has been added.
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2005
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- 12,217
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- 4,273
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- Not really here.
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- www.tranquiligeek.com
Seems to work as well as a 2X4 from Seagrams (2parts maple syrup, 4 parts Chevas or Crown Royal) though I'm not sure how it'll compare to my new 2X4 Mouse Trap (just pour in a traditional 2X4 to this once the mouse has been added.
*reminds self NEVER to accept a drink from Porter*
I'll say this, it's the most unusual drink garnish I've ever seen.Seems to work as well as a 2X4 from Seagrams (2parts maple syrup, 4 parts Chevas or Crown Royal) though I'm not sure how it'll compare to my new 2X4 Mouse Trap (just pour in a traditional 2X4 to this once the mouse has been added.
*folds arms and glares indignantly*
Well, if you'd bother to show up for your own welcome party, maybe you could have had a cocktail with your friends. But noooooooo.
No surprise. You forgot our anniversary, too. AND my birthday.
*founces*
Oh, Cass. Imagine all the things you could accomplish if you'd stop obsessing over Haggis'sss'es's pooter.
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*waits impatiently to read*
That's disgusting
For sure.
Back when they were married the first time and Haggis had gambled away his paycheck (again) The New Girl was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked what she had taken. The New Girl replied, "A can of peaches." The judge then asked why she had done it. She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store." The judge asked how many peaches were in the can. She replied, "Nine." The judge said, "Well then, I'm going to give you nine days in jail--one day for each peach." As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the Haggis raised his hand and asked if he might speak. The judge said, "Yes, what do you have to add?" Haggis said, "Your honor, she also stole a can of peas."
*reports Haggis for incorrect putter usage*
*reports Cass for substandard founce*
*reports Porter...just 'cus*
*reports Rob for misleading reppie*
*reports Rob again for misleading avatar*
*reports Angie for not be around to stop me from reporting everyone*
*reports Nina because her photoshop skills are a threat to civilization*
*reports Kelly for joining AW before it even existed*
*reports HB for moving the shit jar*
*reports Cray because it's all his fault*
*reports Gilroy because I haven't had a doughnut in over a week*
*reports Kenthepen for requesting bosom pie*
*report Cray again because I hate that Neti Pot reppie*
*reports Parump for being too colorful*
I think that about does it for now. I'll come back when I think of more.
*reports Cass for substandard founce*
*reports Porter...just 'cus*
*reports Rob for misleading reppie*
*reports Rob again for misleading avatar*
*reports Angie for not be around to stop me from reporting everyone*
*reports Nina because her photoshop skills are a threat to civilization*
*reports Kelly for joining AW before it even existed*
*reports HB for moving the shit jar*
*reports Cray because it's all his fault*
*reports Gilroy because I haven't had a doughnut in over a week*
*reports Kenthepen for requesting bosom pie*
*report Cray again because I hate that Neti Pot reppie*
*reports Parump for being too colorful*
I think that about does it for now. I'll come back when I think of more.
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2005
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- 12,217
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- 4,273
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- Not really here.
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- www.tranquiligeek.com
- Status