Emanuel Church has a donate button on their website, if you'd like to help.

See also the Mother Emanuel Hope Fund

 

 

 

Welcome to the AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler! Please read The Newbie Guide To Absolute Write

Thread: Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip

  1. #14251
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    In your worst nightmare
    Posts
    50,624
    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    well, silent rob?

    30K

    make it a good one.



    *checks watch*
    Quote Originally Posted by swachski View Post
    Thanks for all your hard work, Haggis! You are the best mod ever!

    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented



  2. #14252
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    15,036
    The Muppeh is such a tease.

  3. #14253
    I'm on the phone. kayleamay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Vantucky, WA
    Posts
    15,131
    He's trying to prove that he has stamina. It's normal behavior for a muppet. That and finding high ground, bearing their asses and farting. It a show of strength. I learned that while studying them in the Congo.
    "I never said, 'I could write.' I said, 'I could, right?'."

    Hushpuppy: "When it all goes quiet behind my eyes, I see everything that made me flying around in invisible pieces. When I look too hard it goes away. And when it all goes quiet, I see they are right here. I see that I'm a little piece of a big, big universe and that makes things right. When I die, the scientists of the future, they're gonna find it all. They're gonna know, once there was a Hushpuppy and she lived with her daddy in the bathtub." ~ Beasts of the Southern Wild

  4. #14254
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    15,036
    Quote Originally Posted by kayleamay View Post
    He's trying to prove that he has stamina. It's normal behavior for a muppet. That and finding high ground, bearing their asses and farting. It a show of strength. I learned that while studying them in the Congo.

    *takes notes*

    *raises hand*

    Professor Kayleamay, what's up with that jazz hands thing he keeps doing in Susie's HOF? Is that a show of strength, too? I was thinking maybe it was a mating ritual.

  5. #14255
    practical experience, FTW kenthepen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    gang aft agley
    Posts
    9,325
    I don't feel bad for him.

    We all have our own ass to bear. . . .
    113k on WIP! Someone tell me to shut up!

    Severe allergic reaction to the slightest traces of reality

    Kenneth Folta available on Smashwords

  6. #14256
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    In your worst nightmare
    Posts
    50,624
    Quote Originally Posted by kenthepen View Post
    I don't feel bad for him.

    We all have our own ass to bear. . . .
    Mine is cray.
    Quote Originally Posted by swachski View Post
    Thanks for all your hard work, Haggis! You are the best mod ever!

    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented



  7. #14257
    I'm on the phone. kayleamay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Vantucky, WA
    Posts
    15,131
    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    *takes notes*

    *raises hand*

    Professor Kayleamay, what's up with that jazz hands thing he keeps doing in Susie's HOF? Is that a show of strength, too? I was thinking maybe it was a mating ritual.
    Excellent question, Cass. The muppet behavior known as "jazz handing" is actually their way of showing self-sufficience, a trait that female muppets find endearing in the male of the species. When in the presence of a female, the male will hold his hands high in the air and shake them, exposing the fur on the palms. The furrier the palms, the more likely the female is to let the male live.

    ETA: and you know what I meant, Ken. He beared a bare ass. Don't harass before my first cuppa.
    "I never said, 'I could write.' I said, 'I could, right?'."

    Hushpuppy: "When it all goes quiet behind my eyes, I see everything that made me flying around in invisible pieces. When I look too hard it goes away. And when it all goes quiet, I see they are right here. I see that I'm a little piece of a big, big universe and that makes things right. When I die, the scientists of the future, they're gonna find it all. They're gonna know, once there was a Hushpuppy and she lived with her daddy in the bathtub." ~ Beasts of the Southern Wild

  8. #14258
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    15,036
    Quote Originally Posted by kayleamay View Post
    Excellent question, Cass. The muppet behavior known as "jazz handing" is actually their way of showing self-sufficience, a trait that female muppets find endearing in the male of the species. When in the presence of a female, the male will hold his hands high in the air and shake them, exposing the fur on the palms. The furrier the palms, the more likely the female is to let the male live.

    ETA: and you know what I meant, Ken. He beared a bare ass. Don't harass before my first cuppa.
    *scribbles furiously*

    *raises hand*

    What about the capering?

  9. #14259
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    In your worst nightmare
    Posts
    50,624
    Quote Originally Posted by kayleamay View Post
    Excellent question, Cass. The muppet behavior known as "jazz handing" is actually their way of showing self-sufficience, a trait that female muppets find endearing in the male of the species. When in the presence of a female, the male will hold his hands high in the air and shake them, exposing the fur on the palms. The furrier the palms, the more likely the female is to let the male live.
    Does that hold true for American Muppets too or is it only for the furrin ones?
    Quote Originally Posted by swachski View Post
    Thanks for all your hard work, Haggis! You are the best mod ever!

    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented



  10. #14260
    I'm on the phone. kayleamay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Vantucky, WA
    Posts
    15,131
    Haggis, there are no such things as American muppets.
    "I never said, 'I could write.' I said, 'I could, right?'."

    Hushpuppy: "When it all goes quiet behind my eyes, I see everything that made me flying around in invisible pieces. When I look too hard it goes away. And when it all goes quiet, I see they are right here. I see that I'm a little piece of a big, big universe and that makes things right. When I die, the scientists of the future, they're gonna find it all. They're gonna know, once there was a Hushpuppy and she lived with her daddy in the bathtub." ~ Beasts of the Southern Wild

  11. #14261
    thread stalker SuperModerator cray's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Post #37264
    Posts
    37,527
    I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, um, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, ...


    such as.

  12. #14262
    I'm on the phone. kayleamay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Vantucky, WA
    Posts
    15,131
    Cray, it's not nice to make fun of Haggis like that. He can't help it if he's pretty.
    "I never said, 'I could write.' I said, 'I could, right?'."

    Hushpuppy: "When it all goes quiet behind my eyes, I see everything that made me flying around in invisible pieces. When I look too hard it goes away. And when it all goes quiet, I see they are right here. I see that I'm a little piece of a big, big universe and that makes things right. When I die, the scientists of the future, they're gonna find it all. They're gonna know, once there was a Hushpuppy and she lived with her daddy in the bathtub." ~ Beasts of the Southern Wild

  13. #14263
    thread stalker SuperModerator cray's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Post #37264
    Posts
    37,527
    he called me an ass.

  14. #14264
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    In your worst nightmare
    Posts
    50,624
    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    he called me an ass.
    And...?
    Quote Originally Posted by swachski View Post
    Thanks for all your hard work, Haggis! You are the best mod ever!

    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented



  15. #14265
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    15,036
    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    he called me an ass.
    Well, to be fair, you're always waving it around.

  16. #14266
    I'm on the phone. kayleamay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Vantucky, WA
    Posts
    15,131
    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    *scribbles furiously*

    *raises hand*

    What about the capering?
    The capering is merely a side-effect of one of the rituals of youth. All young muppets are given a pair of 4' stilettos which they wear until maturity. Over time, the tendons in their ankles shorten forcing them to "caper". A fully matured muppet who does not caper is considered to be of low breeding and usually assigned manual labor for life.
    "I never said, 'I could write.' I said, 'I could, right?'."

    Hushpuppy: "When it all goes quiet behind my eyes, I see everything that made me flying around in invisible pieces. When I look too hard it goes away. And when it all goes quiet, I see they are right here. I see that I'm a little piece of a big, big universe and that makes things right. When I die, the scientists of the future, they're gonna find it all. They're gonna know, once there was a Hushpuppy and she lived with her daddy in the bathtub." ~ Beasts of the Southern Wild

  17. #14267
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    15,036
    Quote Originally Posted by kayleamay View Post
    The capering is merely a side-effect of one of the rituals of youth. All young muppets are given a pair of 4' stilettos which they wear until maturity. Over time, the tendons in their ankles shorten forcing them to "caper". A fully matured muppet who does not caper is considered to be of low breeding and usually assigned manual labor for life.
    *switches to stenograph machine*

    *types frantically*

    *raises hand*

    Oh! Oh! I have another question. What about the ROAR he emits with every post? It doesn't seem threatening enough to be a defense mechanism.

    *feels something hitting the back of her neck*

    Professor Kaylemay! Haggis is shooting spitballs at me!

  18. #14268
    Working my way up! Honeybug's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    LaLa Land
    Posts
    3,147


    This doesn't sound like my medical class at all!!

    *puts head on desk*

    I've already taken my notes!


    http://honeyboudreaux.weebly.com/

    There are people who live in a dream world,
    There are people who live in reality,
    Then, there are those who turn one into the other.

  19. #14269
    I'm on the phone. kayleamay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Vantucky, WA
    Posts
    15,131
    Cass, we'll be studying the habits of feral chihuahuas next week. Please try to stay on task.

    You are correct in that the muppet ROAR is not threatening. It is, however, a defense mechansim. Muppets have a very limited vocabulary and are easily overwhelmed. ROAR is simply their way of saying, "I don't understand," or, "Huh?" or, "Please, get off of my toes." It's the equivalent of the use of "WTF?" among homosapien teens.
    "I never said, 'I could write.' I said, 'I could, right?'."

    Hushpuppy: "When it all goes quiet behind my eyes, I see everything that made me flying around in invisible pieces. When I look too hard it goes away. And when it all goes quiet, I see they are right here. I see that I'm a little piece of a big, big universe and that makes things right. When I die, the scientists of the future, they're gonna find it all. They're gonna know, once there was a Hushpuppy and she lived with her daddy in the bathtub." ~ Beasts of the Southern Wild

  20. #14270
    thread stalker SuperModerator cray's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Post #37264
    Posts
    37,527
    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    And...?



  21. #14271
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    15,036
    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post

    Notice how the arm is juuuuusssst long enough to reach his pip.

  22. #14272
    thread stalker SuperModerator cray's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Post #37264
    Posts
    37,527
    that's the way nina built me.

  23. #14273
    Ooh, that stings. Angie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Hiding from the scorpions.
    Posts
    11,406
    A likely story.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cassandra, who will NEVER live this down if I have anything to say about it
    At this point, cray, showering with you and qW sounds just fine.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cella
    cray watches kids on Netflix.

  24. #14274
    I'm on the phone. kayleamay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Vantucky, WA
    Posts
    15,131
    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    that's the way nina built me.
    She's thoughtful like that.
    "I never said, 'I could write.' I said, 'I could, right?'."

    Hushpuppy: "When it all goes quiet behind my eyes, I see everything that made me flying around in invisible pieces. When I look too hard it goes away. And when it all goes quiet, I see they are right here. I see that I'm a little piece of a big, big universe and that makes things right. When I die, the scientists of the future, they're gonna find it all. They're gonna know, once there was a Hushpuppy and she lived with her daddy in the bathtub." ~ Beasts of the Southern Wild

  25. #14275
    On the Beach NinaK's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    5,903
    Thanks KLM,



    no worries though,



    the arm behind his back is longer.
    Quote Originally Posted by Leukman View Post
    Nina, my luv, you're brilliant!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    don't make me mod you, nina.

Page 571 of 1039 FirstFirst ... 71321471496521546561565566567568569570571572573574575576577581596621646671821 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Custom Search