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Thread: Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip

  1. #12826
    No I do not want to be king Gilroy Cullen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NinaK View Post
    Prior to leaving, Mrs. Cray organizes a theme party.

    Suddenly, I want Old Hack's avvie...
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  2. #12827
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    ok, ok. here’s what i’d like to say for my super epic and huge and totally awesome 22kth post:

    it ain’t right.

    what’s that? oh, you are wondering what ain’t right. well, it’s this….

    it is the time of year when mrs. cray, dawg bless her, thinks she needs a break. i know, i know. wtf does that mean, right? i said the same thing! cripes. a break from what, right? it can’t be from me. i mean, who would want that?
    no one, that’s who.

    anyway, yeah, she doesn’t care what i think so she is leaving for cali for her ‘girl’s weekend’ soon.

    we know that weekends are traditionally comprised of a saturday and a sunday but not in mrs. cray’s world. the weekend in ‘girl’s weekend’ is thurs night to monday night.
    how is that? you can’t just make up new definitions for ‘weekend.’ fark.

    anyway, this all means a lot of things but the two biggies are:
    1) it means that i won’t be in california.
    b: it means that i’ll be alone with the cray children. alone! i’ll need to know how many there are? where they are? they eat, right? if yes, everyday? do they self-clean? and they will need to somehow get to school, etc. with clothes on.

    what. the. hell.

    it ain’t right.

    and you know what’s more? i don’t see any tupperware thingies in the fridge yet with labels like “friday,” or “dinner” or “eat this” or anything.

    and i’ll tell you something else although i don’t think any of them wear diapers anymore but i’m getting some and they’re all going to be wearing them. yanno, just to be safe.

    there is a dog here too. i don’t know much about that thing either.


    i’m very very very worried about this “weekend.” i’ll need support that’s for sure.
    what? no.
    not from you dorks.

    and please don't even bother to point out the typos in this post. i'm very upset right now.





    i think i need to post this in the conquering challenges section.

    *golf clap*

    Now see, that whole thing there, that Cray just said? That's why I'm not looking to get married. Gonna print it out in case I ever find myself wavering.

    *starts packing for girls' weekend with Mrs. Cray*

    *leaves tupperware tub for Cray containing shift key*

  3. #12828
    nurturing tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
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    If you left this Wednesday for Guys 'night' out and came back the following Wedneday ...
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/


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    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown

  4. #12829
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    *leers*

    Oh, we won't need batteries, Kell. Come along. You'll see.

    *packs iPod loaded with 70s porn music*

  5. #12830
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    ok, ok. here’s what i’d like to say for my super epic and huge and totally awesome 22kth post:

    it ain’t right.

    what’s that? oh, you are wondering what ain’t right. well, it’s this….

    it is the time of year when mrs. cray, dawg bless her, thinks she needs a break. i know, i know. wtf does that mean, right? i said the same thing! cripes. a break from what, right? it can’t be from me. i mean, who would want that?
    no one, that’s who.

    anyway, yeah, she doesn’t care what i think so she is leaving for cali for her ‘girl’s weekend’ soon.

    we know that weekends are traditionally comprised of a saturday and a sunday but not in mrs. cray’s world. the weekend in ‘girl’s weekend’ is thurs night to monday night.
    how is that? you can’t just make up new definitions for ‘weekend.’ fark.

    anyway, this all means a lot of things but the two biggies are:
    1) it means that i won’t be in california.
    b: it means that i’ll be alone with the cray children. alone! i’ll need to know how many there are? where they are? they eat, right? if yes, everyday? do they self-clean? and they will need to somehow get to school, etc. with clothes on.

    what. the. hell.

    it ain’t right.

    and you know what’s more? i don’t see any tupperware thingies in the fridge yet with labels like “friday,” or “dinner” or “eat this” or anything.

    and i’ll tell you something else although i don’t think any of them wear diapers anymore but i’m getting some and they’re all going to be wearing them. yanno, just to be safe.

    there is a dog here too. i don’t know much about that thing either.


    i’m very very very worried about this “weekend.” i’ll need support that’s for sure.
    what? no.
    not from you dorks.

    and please don't even bother to point out the typos in this post. i'm very upset right now.





    i think i need to post this in the conquering challenges section.
    Yeah, yeah. Whatever. It always has to be about you, doesn't it, cray?

    But you know, I don't care. You're not getting me down today. You know why? Because Matilda the Dog just pooped outside for the first time. That's why.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavern08 View Post
    I don't care what anyone says - Haggis is HAWT!
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  6. #12831
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Yeah, yeah. Whatever. It always has to be about you, doesn't it, cray?

    But you know, I don't care. You're not getting me down today. You know why? Because Matilda the Dog just pooped outside for the first time. That's why.
    Wait. You've had her now, what -- a good week?

    *envisions Haggis's's's carpet*
    *shudders*

  7. #12832
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
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    We'll get a new one.

    Carpet, that is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavern08 View Post
    I don't care what anyone says - Haggis is HAWT!
    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented




  8. #12833
    thread stalker SuperModerator cray's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    *golf clap*

    Now see, that whole thing there, that Cray just said? That's why I'm not looking to get married. Gonna print it out in case I ever find myself wavering.

    *starts packing for girls' weekend with Mrs. Cray*

    *leaves tupperware tub for Cray containing shift key*
    *makes note: cassandra doesn't know how to take care of kids either.*

    Quote Originally Posted by KellyAssauer View Post
    Let me get this straight,
    A girl's weekend is:

    without batteries?


    ok. that's very funny.



    psst, haggis? someone hacked kelly's account!


    Quote Originally Posted by PorterStarrByrd View Post
    If you left this Wednesday for Guys 'night' out and came back the following Wedneday ...
    genius!


    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Yeah, yeah. Whatever. It always has to be about you, doesn't it, cray?

    But you know, I don't care. You're not getting me down today. You know why? Because Matilda the Dog just pooped outside for the first time. That's why.
    everything has to be about you, doesn't it?
    pffft.






    and now yanno what? there's something else that i'm very very very very very worried about.

    ab saw that post. she repped me about it.
    she's knows i'm alone this 'weekend."


  9. #12834
    Riff-Raff Silent Rob's Avatar
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    Pssst.

    cray.

    If you're thinking about heading for the hills, don't forget to take your bike off the rollers.

  10. #12835
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    *makes note: cassandra doesn't know how to take care of kids either.*

    *throws slab of raw meat to demon spawn in electrified playpen*

    Sure I do. But I've found it best to cultivate a clueless reputation. See, a lot of my friends have spat out little snowflakes, and they seem to have this silly idea that their childless friends are just dying to do a little free babysitting on Saturday nights. Lots of my conversations with them for a while went like this:

    Me: Hey, what are you guys doing this Saturday? I haven't seen you in ages and I was thinking we could...

    Parent friend: Why, we'd really love a night out. Thanks for asking! So glad you're free. Come over at 7 pm. The bottles of breastmilk for little Snowflake will be in the fridge. Little Sunshine is potty training, so leave the diapers off her. She doesn't have more than one or two accidents a night, and the rug cleaner's under the sink. ...

    So. To avoid awkward conversations like that, I've learned to act as clueless as possible around kids so they have their doubts about asking me in the first place. But obviously, I'm really pretty much an expert.

    *zaps Haggis Jr. with cattle prod*

  11. #12836
    nurturing tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post

    But you know, I don't care. You're not getting me down today. You know why? Because Matilda the Dog just pooped outside for the first time. That's why.
    Did you save it to frame?
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/


    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown

  12. #12837
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PorterStarrByrd View Post
    Did you save it to frame?
    It has to be checked for worms. The UPS driver should be delivering it to your door as we speak.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavern08 View Post
    I don't care what anyone says - Haggis is HAWT!
    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented




  13. #12838
    I sometimes hiccup fire parumpdragon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silent Rob View Post
    Pssst.

    cray.

    If you're thinking about heading for the hills, don't forget to take your bike off the rollers.
    A cute little bug :

    Dear God, Thank you for keeping me together when I'm falling apart.


    Goodreads

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  14. #12839
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    So...Cray is still the same revolting pink pony he was a couple of hours ago. I know it's hard to find an avatar more humiliating than that one, but still... Haggis and Reg have shown themselves so inventive in the past...

  15. #12840
    No I do not want to be king Gilroy Cullen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    *zaps Haggis Jr. with cattle prod*
    Hope you had that set to Woolly Mammoth.
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  16. #12841
    A flowering bud of bitchiness TrainofThought's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    ok, ok. here’s what i’d like to say for my super epic and huge and totally awesome 22kth post:

    it ain’t right.
    I love a man of few words.

    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    what’s that? oh, you are wondering what ain’t right. well, it’s this….

    it is the time of year when mrs. cray, dawg bless her, thinks she needs a break. i know, i know. wtf does that mean, right? i said the same thing! cripes. a break from what, right? it can’t be from me. i mean, who would want that?
    no one, that’s who.
    A break (woman's description) = pursue a highly alcoholic sedated weekend without worrying about runts, opposite gender or cray.

    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    anyway, yeah, she doesn’t care what i think so she is leaving for cali for her ‘girl’s weekend’ soon.

    we know that weekends are traditionally comprised of a saturday and a sunday but not in mrs. cray’s world. the weekend in ‘girl’s weekend’ is thurs night to monday night.
    how is that? you can’t just make up new definitions for ‘weekend.’ fark.
    Is mrs. cray in MENSA? No...wait...can't be.

    The length of a women's weekend break is longer than cray. mrs. cray is stretching it by 4.5 days but she deserves it.

    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    anyway, this all means a lot of things but the two biggies are:
    1) it means that i won’t be in california.
    b: it means that i’ll be alone with the cray children. alone! i’ll need to know how many there are? where they are? they eat, right? if yes, everyday? do they self-clean? and they will need to somehow get to school, etc. with clothes on.

    what. the. hell.

    it ain’t right.
    You can count the children, but you can't count their daddies. If you see them, they become your responsibility. Put some buckets outside and fill them with macaroni and cheese. Clean? No need. School? Nah.

    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    and you know what’s more? i don’t see any tupperware thingies in the fridge yet with labels like “friday,” or “dinner” or “eat this” or anything.
    Look in the backyard...you might find some buckets.

    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    and i’ll tell you something else although i don’t think any of them wear diapers anymore but i’m getting some and they’re all going to be wearing them. yanno, just to be safe.
    We understand. You don't want to be the only one wearing them.

    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    there is a dog here too. i don’t know much about that thing either.
    Haggis?


    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    i’m very very very worried about this “weekend.” i’ll need support that’s for sure.
    what? no.
    not from you dorks.
    Oh, okay. *Goes back to the post office to retrieve the mail being sent to cray.

    *changes address and sends jock strap to qw*

    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    and please don't even bother to point out the typos in this post. i'm very upset right now.
    Here...look at this site, http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_1...ting_girl.html. I'm sensing 3 through 9 apply to you.

  17. #12842
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    Train of Thought, that's one of the meanest posts I've ever seen during my short tenure in the Cabbie.

    I can tell right away I'm going to like you.

  18. #12843
    A flowering bud of bitchiness TrainofThought's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    Train of Thought, that's one of the meanest posts I've ever seen during my short tenure in the Cabbie.

    I can tell right away I'm going to like you.
    We might even become BFF's.

  19. #12844
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrainofThought View Post
    We might even become BFF's.

    I've got an extra cattle prod, if you want one.

  20. #12845
    Sunstreaker AW Moderator regdog's Avatar
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    Wait, it's mrs cray weekend off again, already???

    You know we won't be seeing much of the battery this weekend. You just know the crayons are going to have a field day.
    My Blog-Updated on 10/9/14 An Open Letter To Hasbro

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  21. #12846
    I sometimes hiccup fire parumpdragon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrainofThought View Post
    We might even become BFF's.
    Hi ToT!
    A cute little bug :

    Dear God, Thank you for keeping me together when I'm falling apart.


    Goodreads

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  22. #12847
    thread stalker SuperModerator cray's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post

    I can tell right away I'm going to like you.
    me too.



    who are you again?

    meh. regardless, i like you so much that i'd like to invite you to spend the wkend with me!!!?


    Quote Originally Posted by regdog View Post
    Wait, it's mrs cray weekend off again, already???

    it's funny, is it!??













    eta: dear sweet dawgs i can't take this 0-350uedcv ,guo[sejkl;ing avatar one more second!

  23. #12848
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cray View Post
    eta: dear sweet dawgs i can't take this 0-350uedcv ,guo[sejkl;ing avatar one more second!

    Gaah! This new one is worse! For dawg's sake, someone put a sock on that thing!

  24. #12849
    thread stalker SuperModerator cray's Avatar
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    *polishes pip*



    *brims with confidence*

    i know what your saying, cassandra.
    *insert eyebrow guy here*
    i'm picking up what you're laying down, lady.
    *wink*

    how you doin'?

  25. #12850
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
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    *alerts AB*
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavern08 View Post
    I don't care what anyone says - Haggis is HAWT!
    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented




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